Season 46 (20-21)

October 3, 2020-Chris Rock

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) interrupts Joe Biden (Jim Carrey) at debate

-TV reporter (MID) covers contact tracing at name-change office

-given a glimpse of 2020, Y2k teen (KYM) focuses on video game graphics

-NBA Bubble Draft- women hope to gain access to isolated basketballers

October 10, 2020-Bill Burr

*Bidenfly (Jim Carrey) teleports to Mike Pence's (BEB) head during debate

-upon emerging from isolation, (host) & (KAM) are called out for misstatements

-The Blitz- sports teasing is sour in wake of police shooting of black man

-after 20 years behind bars, mob boss (host) lacks modern sensibilities

October 17, 2020-Issa Rae

*Joe Biden (Jim Carrey) & Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) town halls differ

-Bonjour Hi!- Montreal morning news show has French Canadian quirks

-(host)'s eccentric Times Square exes interrupt her date with (CRR)

-Your Voice Chicago- (host)'s vow to only vote Black candidates is tested

-restaurant fans (BEB), (KYM) & (AND) threaten governor kidnapping

October 24, 2020-Adele

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) & Joe Biden (Jim Carrey) have final debate

-in 2019, psychic's (KAM) 2020 visions confuse (BOY), (HEG), (EGN) & (host)

-The Bachelor- romance drama prompts contestant host to sing her hits

-(MAR)'s lack of comprehension cuts through her grandkids' indirectness

-black men are why white divorcees (host) (KAM) (HEG) promote Africa visits

October 31, 2020-John Mulaney

*on Halloween, Joe Biden (Jim Carrey) reads The Raven before scary election

-Cinema Classics- Tippi Hedren (KAM) panics in The Birds phone booth scene

-Ichabod Crane (host) asks Headless Horseman (BEB) about self-fellation

-(PED) buying NYC souvenir store underwear prompts show tunes by Times Square dwellers

-(host) expresses his displeasure over being memed again by his nephew (PED)

November 7, 2020-Dave Chappelle

*Joe Biden (Jim Carrey) has defeated loser Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin)

-corporate mascots Aunt Jemima (MAR) & Uncle Ben (KET) have been canceled

-(MID) lingers on (KYM)'s testicle trauma in Super Mario Brothers celebration

-news report reveals co-workers' (KET) & (KAM) hailstorm-induced romance

-news report shows Donald Trump's O.J. Simpson-inspired White House departure

December 5, 2020-Jason Bateman

*Rudy Giuliani (KAM) calls ridiculous witnesses at election fraud hearing

-at a sleepover, obviously-guilty Megan (KAM) won't admit to menstrual accident

-cabaret singers Charlie (BOY) & Billie (CES) recall virus-free happy days

-Morgan Wallen’s [real] future selves (host) & (BOY) warn him about SNL dilemma

-shopping mall Santa (host) & Mrs. Claus (CES) crash their plastic bubbles

December 12, 2020-Timothée Chalamet

*Anthony Fauci (KAM) & Deborah Birx (HEG) detail the Covid-19 vaccination plan

-uninfectious son (host) is the rebel in a family of coronaviruses

-The Dionne Warwick (EGN) Show- rotating guests include T. Chalamet (CLF) & Harry Styles (host)

-Holiday Baking Championship- seasonal cakes are disgusting failures

-XXL Rap Roundtable- Soundcloud rappers (host) & (PED) irritate panel discussion

-Newsmax spin-off Sportsmax claims the Jets & Knicks are actually winners

December 19, 2020-Kristen Wiig

*Joe Biden (ALM) crashes Mike Pence's (BEB) Covid-19 vaccination event

-Secret Word- Mindy Grayson (KRW) & Austrian actress (KAM) botch holiday clues

-(KRW) & (BOY) perform a sassy scene at a USO show for WWII soldiers

-Pigeon Lady (KRW) gets aggressive in alternate ending to Home Alone 2

-The Grinch (PED) had a threesome with Cindy Lou's (CLF) parents (MID) & (KRW)

-impending Christmas homecoming revelation overwhelms surprise-loving Sue (KRW)

January 30, 2021-John Krasinski

*What Still Works?- exhausted KAM seeks non-dysfunctional institutions

-Blue Georgia- conservative southern stereotypes are overlooked in newly democratic state

-The Dividend- an economist's (host) creepy kids (MID) & (KAM) haunt (BEB)

-members of a suburban pandemic bubble are arrested for being Capitol rioters

-Supermarket Sweep- lesbian couple (KAM) & (AIB) dominate classic episode

-out-of-touch Subway ad men (host) & (BEB) criticize (AND)'s protein bowl pitch

-sex rat (KYM) controls intercourse from (host)'s head a la Ratatouille

February 6, 2021-Dan Levy

*James Brown (KET) & other NFL analysts preview Super Bowl commercials

-chatter of Universal Studios Tour guide trainee (host) is inappropriate

-self-satisfied group of friends claim to practice safe social distancing

-Lifting Our Voices- white allies' cringeworthy support is appreciated

-(host) & (CES) perform "Hot Damn" to Super Bowl fans at a sports bar

-bride's (EGN) passive-aggressive friends (host) & (KAM) object to wedding

February 13, 2021-Regina King

*Tucker Carlson (ALM) Tonight- second impeachment acquittal is assessed

-What's Your Type?- bachelorette (host) is horny for cringey white dudes

-(KET) & (host) want compensation for those who put Gorilla Glue in hair

-(AIB)'s birthday gifts from friends indicate they think she's a boozer

-before a 1978 gig, disco queen's (host) support staffer (BOY) has failed her

-(host), (KAM) & (AIB) substitute "elbow" for "vagina" at school assembly

February 20, 2021-Regé-Jean Page

*Oops, You Did It Again- Britney Spears (CLF) offers a forum for apologies

-Actors Spotlight- Ice Cube (KET) tries to fit in with panel of British actors

-guys playing pool have an emotional appreciation of "Drivers License"

-Mr. Chicken Legs Pageant- scrawny thighs of grown men are celebrated

-Songs Of The Sea- whalers' shanties describe a miserable marine existence

-inviting black neighbors to white family dinner leads to grace-saying battle

-on the Bridgerton set, (MID) & (PED) are substitute intimacy coordinators

February 27, 2021-Nick Jonas

*Anthony Fauci (KAM) emcees contest to simplify the Covid-19 vaccine distribution

-(MID) & (CRR) find (KAM) trapped inside of their mirror workout device 

-Prince Charming (host) discovers that tiny glass slipper fits mouse (AIB)

-(KYM) is forced to sit with large, stuffed “guy from Soul” on amusement park ride

-The Dionne Warwick (EGN) Show- rotating guests include host & Dua Lipa (MEV)

-after living in quarantine for a year, (host) & (KAM) have forgotten how to flirt

March 27, 2021-Maya Rudolph

*Snatched! Vaxed! or Waxed!- Spring Breakers assess vacationing chicks

-Hot Ones- spicy wings are too hot to handle for drama queen Beyonce (MAR)

-Kamala Harris (MAR) & Doug Emhoff (MAS) welcome politicians for Passover Seder

-rival Broadway choreographers (KET) & (MAR) have a love-hate relationship

-2021 Barfly Awards- boozed boomers celebrate their drunk lifestyle

April 3, 2021-Daniel Kaluuya

*Oops, You Did It Again- Britney Spears (CLF) judges more controversial celebrities

-Will You Take It?- (host) urges relatives to get the Covid vaccine

-offended mom (KAM) gets passive-aggressively noisy during family game night

-(CRR)'s parents (host) & (EGN) criticize his decision to change majors

-fraternity brother (host) suggests inviting their moms on a road trip

-at a dog park, (EGN) & (AND) object to (host)’s attempts at puppy voices

-(host) & (CES) jazz up (KET)'s birthday with an upright bass & poetry

April 10, 2021-Carey Mulligan

*Eye On Minnesota- anchors' race guides perception of Derek Chauvin trial

-What's Wrong With This Picture- contestants' speculations are inaccurate

-(KAM) calls (AIB) for advice on requiting classmate's (host) attention

-pretentious (host) & (MID) are overdramatic during a spaceship mission

-The War In Words- wife's (host) baffling letters alarm WWII seaman (MID)

-(AIB) & (host) try to sell L'eggs pantyhose to high school teens

May 8, 2021-Elon Musk

*Miley Cyrus [real] sings "Light Of A Clear Blue Morning" for castmembers' moms

-Gen Z Hospital- zoomers mourn death of their bestie with youthful slang

-The Ooli (CLF) Show- Frances McDormand (KAM) visits oddball Icelandic talk show

-trial reveals deeds of Italians Wario (host), Luigi (KYM) & Princess Peach (Grimes)

-in the Old West, eccentric cowboy (host) has radical ideas ahead of his time

May 15, 2021-Keegan-Michael Key

*Anthony Fauci (KAM) presents CDC skits demonstrating post-vaccinated life

-high schoolers (BOY) (HEG) (host) provide commentary for prom night red carpet

-The Muppet Show- security guards (host) & (KET) deal with Statler & Waldorf

-at TGI Friday's, Jemma (CES) & musician boyfriend (host) perform inappropriate songs

-(CES), (KAM) & (host) blunder the lyrics to "I Got Rhythm" during Gershwin tribute

-relatives don’t hold their applause during high school graduation ceremony

May 22, 2021-Anya Taylor-Joy

*castmembers look back on working through the pandemic during SNL's past season

-Hollywood Squares- nearly all celebrities in 1998 episode are problematic

-in heaven, female angels criticize male angels’ design of man

-Celtic Woman is a crowd-pleasing mostly-Irish musical extravaganza

-Enid (AIB) & Astrid's (host) Brawr Barn supports large-breasted women

-(AIB) & (host)’s questions to diverse TV cast are softball or insensitive

-Vin Diesel (BEB) promotes going back to the movie theatres for AMC

SNL At Home (2020)

NOTE: This section is a hypothetical look at what the live sketches might've been if they were regular episodes.

April 11, 2020-At Home I

-Ruth Bader Ginsburg (KAM) works out at home with miniature equipment

-Henriette (AIB) & Nan (KAM) have trouble using Zoom during conference meeting

-Bailey Gismert's (HEG) reviews of home-screened movies highlight awkwardness

-Cam Playz Dat- (MID) is repeatedly killed during video game Twitch session

-Sky Sports announcer Bob Tisdale (ALM) reports on homemade sports

-How Low Will You Go?- game show contestants (EGN) (HEG) (AIB) are horny

April 25, 2020-At Home II

*Anthony Fauci (Brad Pitt) reacts to Donald Trump's coronavirus statements

-What Up With That?-Charles Barkley & DJ Khaled [real] are remote during (KET)'s singing & dancing

-quarantined anchor's (MID) report is disrupted by distracting phone filters

-(AIB) & (KAM) list items that Bartenson's Grocery Store has plenty of

-Big Dominican Lunch- David Ortiz (KET) prepares meat on home cooking show

-after being released from prison, (CRR) contacts his old hookups

-intense instructors conduct SoulCycle Virtual Workouts from their homes

-Paul Rudd [real] & his cousin Mandy (HEG) speak for first time since childhood

-virtual police procedural has some singing & an anticlimatic confession

-Barbara (KAM) shows similar-looking cats available online at Whiskers R' We

May 9, 2020-At Home III

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) speaks at high school's virtual graduation

-(MAS) & Deirdre (HEG) annoy friends with talk of their quarantine trip to Italy

-pastor (KET) can't get congregation to mute during Baptist church Zoom

-Bouncy Waves- vlogger PJ Charnt (KRW) shares some hair advice

-What's Wrong With This Picture- mom contestants haven't got a clue

-Eleanor's (AIB) House- imagination summons unwanted birthday party guests

-YouTube channel features a dad (MID) getting viciously pranked by his son

Season 45 (19-20)

September 28, 2019-Woody Harrelson

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) phones allies for Ukraine help during impeachment

-town hall debate has Bernie Sanders (Larry David) & Kamala Harris (MAR)

-Sun's Out Nevada!- (host)’s World's Biggest Cheeto attraction becomes orange dust

-high school football team learns from (HEG) their coach's (host) penis is broken

-Inside The Beltway- flashbacks confirm (KET)'s impeachment doubts

-Chickham's Apple Farm- sisters (AIB) & (KAM) allow dull fruit picking

October 5, 2019-Phoebe Waller-Bridge

*Mike Pompeo (Matthew Broderick) & others plot impeachment strategy

-What's Wrong With This Picture- contestants apply absurd backstories

-anchors keep a racial scorecard of crimes reported during their newscast

-The War In Words- wife's (host) cryptic letters concern WWII pilot (MID)

-Royal Romance- duchess (host) & Thunderstick (KET) were a '70s odd couple

-tough-acting barflies (KAM), (AIB), (CES) & (host) still crave (BEB)

October 12, 2019-David Harbour

*Julian Castro (Lin-Manuel Miranda) & others debate at LGBTQ town hall

-Little Miss Teacher's Friend pageant contestants are student suck-ups

-hyper (BOY), (host), (HEG) & (KAM) audition to be SoulCycle instructors

-Folk Of The Past- in 1962, trio (host), (KAM) & (AIB) measure pathos

-erotic (host) & (KAM) creep out their grandkids while making pasta sauce

-Dog Court- (CES) judges disputes involving canines & their owners

October 26, 2019-Chance the Rapper

*impeached Bill Clinton (DAH) speaks at Donald Trump's (Alec Baldwin) rally

-confused Lazlo Holmes (host) doesn't understand an E-sports tournament

-Judge Barry (host) is able to reach a verdict upon first impressions

-on Halloween, ghost (host) reluctantly shares embarrassing cause of death

-love-at-first-sight causes (host) & (CES) to literally float on air

-Dazzle Designs- (AIB) & (KAM) sell unattractive show choir attire

-in a dance studio, instructor (KET) poorly hides his werewolf transformation

November 2, 2019-Kristen Stewart

*at an Iowa rally, Elizabeth Warren (KAM) gives healthcare policy details

-crass (AIB), (host) & (KAM) are candidates for inspirational WWII poster 

-(AIB)'s use of expensive Farrow & Ball paint produces family hostility

-(CES) serves as translator for hero dog Conan during a press conference

-growling stomachs of deadlocked jury perform "Pony" by Ginuwine

-pansexual (host) pushes for a threesome with middle-aged (KET) & (EGN)

-to stargazing (BEB) & (host), constellations are depictions of oral sex

November 16, 2019-Harry Styles

*Days Of Our Impeachment- soap opera has Bill Taylor (Jon Hamm) & others

-intern (host) unwisely plans to try buying 15 Popeyes chicken sandwiches

-in childbirth class, Icelandic (HEG) & (host) display smooth methods

-sloppy intercom use of pilots (host) & (MID) offends & alarms passengers

-Sara Lee's Instagram account manager (host) is posting about his sex life

-stage act of 45 year-old former child star (CES) & her dancers is pathetic

-deejays (host) & (CRR) boldly perform at funeral of (BEB)'s elderly mom

November 23, 2019-Will Ferrell

*Gordon Sondland (WIF) doesn't assist Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) exoneration

-Democratic debate includes Amy Klobuchar (RAD) & Michael Bloomberg (FRA)

-on Thanksgiving, Pocahontas' (MEV) grandfather (WIF) criticizes immigrants

-emotional parents (WIF) & (KAM) derail a pizza parlor commercial shoot

-Cinema Classics- Dorothy (KAM) faces Munchkin muses in The Wizard Of Oz outtake

-ventriloquist's (WIF) dummy claims their relationship is nonconsensual

December 7, 2019-Jennifer Lopez

*(JIF), (Paul Rudd) & (James Corden) bully Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) at NATO

-home makeover program visits Matt Schatt (MID) & out-of-his-league wife (host)

-knockout's (host) sisters' (KAM) & (AIB) schemes backfire in classic movie

-(host) & other hip-hop carolers perform twisted raps to suburban family

-Hoops- (host) & (MEV) sell large, round, golden, resourceful earrings

-Wisconsin women (host) (KAM) (CES) run hardware store in bear country

-hyper (BOY), (host), (CES), (BEB) & (HEG) try out to be workout trainers

December 14, 2019-Scarlett Johansson

*Trump dominates family dinner talk in San Francisco, Charleston & Atlanta

-at a mall, dance music done by (KET) & (host) has naughty holiday lyrics

-co-worker reaction to inappropriate (host) & loveable Charlie (KET) differs

-strip club ghosts (host) & (CES) sing to couple (CRR) & (EGN) about hot tub tomb

-single (host) faces holiday marriage tropes on Hallmark Channel game show

-kitchen workers are big fans of models (BOY) & (host) from choking poster

-Trump impeachment hasn't converted thought-translator creator's (host) dog

December 21, 2019-Eddie Murphy

*Joe Biden (JAS) challenges debate-crasher Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin)

-Mister Robinson's (EDM) Neighborhood- gentrification has provided opportunities

-Holiday Baking Championship- bad cakes are based on characters kids love

-The Masked Singer- after his identity is revealed, Buckwheat (EDM) sings

-Black Jeopardy!- Velvet Jones' (EDM) ho tutorials clash with modern sensibilities

-manic elf witness (EDM) describes polar bear attack on Santa's workshop

January 25, 2020-Adam Driver

*in hell, Satan (KAM) praises scoundrel defender Alan Dershowitz (JOL)

-at a slumber party, obviously-guilty toilet destroyer (KAM) won't fess up

-in a Del Taco commercial shoot, (KYM) redoes "aw man, I'm all outta cash" line

-Science Room- dumb kids (MID) & (CES) interrupt professor's (host) air lesson

-aspiring actor (host) injects dark storyline into Medieval Times show

-Cheer- coaches (HEG) & (host) overlook squad members' severe injuries

-waitress (HEG) imagines romance while marrying ketchup bottles (host) & (CES)

February 1, 2020-J.J. Watt

*Judge Mathis (KET) rules in fantasy Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) trial

-Elsa (KAM) is gay & Kristoff (host) is woke in Frozen II deleted scenes

-teen (KYM) cringes when parents (host) & (AIB) overshare their sex life

-Pilot Hunk (host)- bachelorettes compete to impress muscular aviator

-host hesitates at unflattering dialogue during Madden 21 recording session

-My Fair Bigfoot- otherwise-civilized Sasquatch (host) has bathroom mishap

-delivery guy's (host) porno plot fulfillment ruins pizza shop owner (KET)

February 8, 2020-RuPaul

*Bernie Sanders (Larry David) & other candidates debate in New Hampshire

-(host), (CRR), (KET) & (EGN) play charades differently than white family

-(CES) & (host) loudly & self-righteously argue check-splitting proposal

-at the library, host "reads" to kids by insulting the books' characters

-Thirsty Cops (EGN) & (host) are hot for roadside texting driver (PED)

-The Old New York Show- eccentric shut-ins (AIB) & (KAM) long for '90s NYC

February 29, 2020-John Mulaney

*Democratic candidates crash Mike Pence's (BEB) coronavirus press conference

-Liesl Von Trapp's (CES) boyfriend Rolf (host) is well beyond teenaged

-(host) dislikes being the subject of his nephew's (PED) viral meme

-twink’s (host) sisters' (KAM) & (AIB) schemes backfire in classic movie

-(PED)’s request for airport sushi leads to LaGuardia inhabitants singing about facilities

-Forgotten Figures of Black History- aggravated (KET) booed Jackie Robinson

March 7, 2020-Daniel Craig

*The Ingraham (KAM) Angle- Elizabeth Warren [real] values her success

-The Sands Of Modesto- social distancing impacts soap opera interactions

-singer Cookie (EGN) rages on talk show after chef’s (host) innocent foil remark

-at a wedding reception, pandemic context has Debbie Downer (RAD) in her element

-host's accent coach (BEB) wants Benoit Blanc to be cartoonishly southern

-during a game night, (host) & (HEG) share incredibly-obscure movie quotes

Season 44 (18-19)

September 29, 2018-Adam Driver

*Brett Kavanaugh (Matt Damon) is emotional at Supreme Court confirmation

-unskilled 46 year-old (host) spoils teens' (KYM) & (PED) Fortnite session

-(host) & (CES) get fooled by deceitful Burger King coffee campaign

-at high school career day, oil baron (host) delights in enemy-crushing

-southern white supremacists learn that Vermont is a Caucasian paradise

October 6, 2018-Awkwafina

*victorious GOP locker room celebrates Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation

-street gang (host) (KET) (LEJ) move to game show themes in dance battle

-The Hidden Tales of Egypt- (host) molds Cleopatra's (CES) trademark look

-So You're Willing To Date A Magician- contestant (host) dislikes options

-at a baby shower, (host) is protective of oversensitive & childless (CES)

-Debette Goldry (KAM) compares her film disgraces to those of the #MeToo era

October 13, 2018-Seth Meyers

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) welcomes Kanye West (CRR) to the Oval Office

-director (SEM) gets oddball audience questions after film screening

-Thirsty Cops (EGN) & (LEJ) sexually harass driver (SEM) at traffic stop

-(SEM) is bothered that Bill Cosby (KET) is his overly chipper cellmate

-Bayou Benny's Liberal Lagniappe- (BEB) & leftist Louisianians talk politics

-clueless (SEM) & Deirdre (HEG) annoy friends with talk of their Cuba trip

-issues of electric piccolo player (SEM) leaks into Treece's (KET) gig

November 3, 2018-Jonah Hill

*The Ingraham (KAM) Angle- Jeanine Pirro (CES) threatens immigrant increase

-6 year-old Adam (host) lovingly roasts nanny (LEJ) in return trip to Benihana

-(host) makes unwelcome on-air marriage proposal to meteorologist (CES)

-fallen-to-the-floor high school teacher (KAM) exaggerates her dilemma

-America's Got Talent- deceiving contestants repeatedly impress judges

-Pug Wigs- (host) & (CES) sell tiny celebrity hairpieces for small dogs

November 10, 2018-Liev Schreiber

*Robert Mueller (Robert DeNiro) & others say goodbye to Jeff Sessions (KAM)

-Good Day Denver- show mislabels investors (MID) & (ALM) as incest twins

-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) supernatural ghostly experience was dull & cruel

-The Poddys- awards show recognizes accomplishments specific to podcasts

-(host) hoses rowdy sons (KYM) & (BEB) indoors to control their misbehavior

-Dave Outside The Women's Bathroom- (host)’s amateur talk show upsets many

November 17, 2018-Steve Carell

*The Ingraham (KAM) Angle- Mark Zuckerberg (ALM) downplays Facebook abuse

-dumb dad (host) has to be informed by his kids about family separation

-(host) & (CES) sing odd & obscure Turkey Day song at Thanksgiving meal

-space station accident makes NASA broadcast to schoolkids traumatizing

-(AIB)’s estranged dad (host) is guardian angel crooner for teen dropout (HEG)

-(host)'s wife (HEG) resentfully denies hatred of their new RV lifestyle

-living kern of (KET) & (MEV) complicates outer space Thanksgiving meal

December 1, 2018-Claire Foy

*Mohammad bin Salman (FRA) joins Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) in Argentina

-Morning Joe- Congress is easy for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (MEV)

-The War In Words- WWI soldier's (MID) wife's (host) letters distress him

-Charlie Bucket's (host) grandparents have rough sex in the communal bed

-(CES) berates herself after losing items meant for Home Shopping Network

-Good Morning Goomah- mob women (host) & (KAM) sugarcoat men’s behavior

December 8, 2018-Jason Momoa

*Robert Mueller (Robert DeNiro) visits Eric Trump (ALM) at bedtime

-Elf On The Shelf (host) dislikes monitoring a masturbating 13 year-old

-dead Game Of Thrones characters visit Khal Drogo's (host) Ghost Dojo

-hunky spirit (host) confuses Ebenezer Scrooge (MID) on Christmas Day

-in a 1980s movie, (host)'s hatred of dorks is violently self-destructive

-Jemma (CES) & her latest meathead boyfriend (host) disrupt a sleigh ride

-after his promotion, Rudolph (PED) gets revenge towards the other reindeer

December 15, 2018-Matt Damon

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) is shown election loss improved everything a la It's A Wonderful Life

-Westminster Daddy Show- hot middle-aged men are judged like purebred dogs

-flawed ornaments have been demoted to the back of the Christmas tree

-(CES) & (host) banter as she sings "Jingle Bells" Barbra Streisand style

-(host) & (LEJ) argue during a dinner over Weezer's composition arc

-in a bar, (KYM) excuses fellow cops' teasing & genuine mistreatment

-Happy Christmas Britain- Theresa May (KAM) is loathed & pestered

January 19, 2019-Rachel Brosnahan

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) does Deal Or No Deal with government shutdown

-news report features name-change applicants affected by earthquake

-Millennial Millions- Baby Boomers prevent contestants' (host) & (PED) financial security

-female partner videos show men react accordingly when shamed like dogs

-interns (PED) (host) (HEG) suggest captions for Ken's Instagram

January 26, 2019-James McAvoy

*Tucker Carlson (ALM) Tonight- Roger Stone (Steve Martin) is wild & crazy

-Virgin Hunk (host)- ditzy bachelorettes compete to deflower abstinent guy

-doomed plane can't understand Scottish air traffic controller (host)

-focus group's feedback about Charmin's Super Bowl commercial is unhelpful

-in Narnia, (CES), (AIB) & (KAM) fawn over girlhood crush Mr. Tumnus (host)

-rowdy sons (KYM) & (BEB) get hosed by their stepdad (host) during a party

-(host) & Deirdre (HEG) annoy friends with talk of their trip to New Orleans

February 9, 2019-Halsey

*Meet The Press- Chuck Todd (KYM) & panel consider Jeff Bezos' penis

-Virginia state government officials can't grasp blackface unacceptability

-(MID) is interrupted by vaguely upsetting phone calls from parents (BEB) & (host)

-sorority pledges (MEV) (host) (CES) sing "What's Up?" at a karaoke bar

-family learns that patriarch (KET) is an online gay porn celebrity

-on the set of Riverdale, actor playing corpse (PED) is loud & spastic

February 16, 2019-Don Cheadle

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) declares a national emergency to build the wall

-Fresh Takes- teacher's (host) attempts to be cool are inappropriate 

-Extreme Baking Championship- cartoon-inspired cakes have very awful results

-Family Feud- Spike Lee (host) & Lady Gaga (MEV) lead Oscar nominee teams

-"Lollipop" on jukebox makes bar fight between (host) & (BEB) a dance party 

-(KAM) & (AIB) advertise The Regal Promenade Pavilion for low-rent events

March 2, 2019-John Mulaney

*at House hearing, Michael Cohen (BES) testifies to Donald Trump's faults

-What's That Name?- female acquaintances are forgotten by (host) & (CES)

-Shark Tank Legal Edition- scandalous celebrities seek representation

-(EGN)'s boyfriend (host) fits right in at African American wedding reception

-(PED)'s pursuit of a gross bodega bathroom inspires educational theatrics

-Cinema Classics- awkwardness followed Lauren Bacall's (KAM) whistle flirt

March 9, 2019-Idris Elba

*R. Kelly (KET) is disturbed during his interview with Gayle King (LEJ)

-Can I Play That?- actors (BEB) (CES) (host) assess role suitability

-inept Henriette (AIB) & Nan (KAM) create incoherent PowerPoint slideshow

-The Gold Diggers Of The WNBA- guys pursue modestly-wealthy athletes

-pro soccer player (host) joins broadcast team & makes unusual comments

-magician (host) uses casino owner's (KET) wife (LEJ) as his assistant

-(BEB) poorly hides his jealousy toward fellow actor's (host) success

March 30, 2019-Sandra Oh

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) likes Robert Mueller's (Robert DeNiro) report

-Jussie Smollett (CRR) fabricates attack to avoid being fired from Empire

-teen's (MID) future selves (ALM) & (BEB) love middle-aged weirdo (host)

-lack of Trump collusion puts Vladimir Putin's (BEB) influence into question

-for her 85th birthday, (KAM) wants to watch co-workers kiss each other

-classic footage shows (KET)'s endless encores of electric shoes song 

-high schoolers give lengthy & dramatic answers to SAT test prep questions

April 6, 2019-Kit Harrington

*personal space invader Joe Biden (JAS) receives sensitivity training

-Nephew Pageant celebrates siblings' sons and their mediocre praises

-Michael Jackson impersonator (host) his pivots act to Frank Sinatra

-at (CES)'s bachelorette party, fiancé (host) performs a stripper routine

-nerdy co-workers (host) (BEB) (KYM) LARP to be employee of the month

-long-fingernailed proctologist (LEJ) makes patient (host) uneasy

April 13, 2019-Emma Stone

*Julian Assange (Michael Keaton) & Lori Loughlin (KAM) discuss their crimes to inmates 

-Krissy Knox (host) & other poster models get highschooler (PED) interested in history

-The View- anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy (host) responds to the aggressive panel

-"Meeting In The Ladies Room" mistakenly takes place in a fitting room

-Prince Harry (MID) greets guests on video of the royal baby shower

-Chalmers' (KET) & (CES) Reserve Event Wine is low-quality & high-alcohol

May 4, 2019-Adam Sandler

*Family Feud- characters from Game Of Thrones & The Avengers compete

-Snapchat filters ridicule TV journalist's (MID) report from a war zone

-Joe Romano's (ADS) tours of Italy are not a solution for your troubles

-at the Sandler Family Reunion, ADS sees character inspiration family members

-Sheila Sovage (KAM) has a nauseating threesome with (ADS) & wife (KRW)

May 11, 2019-Emma Thompson

*Meet The Press- GOP senators will support Donald Trump no matter what

-etiquette coach (host) aggressively prepares (LEJ) for royal christening

-Cinema Classics- rival actresses (host) & (KAM) want to get the last word

-Judge Court- (KAM), (host) & (AIB) inconsistently rule on plaintiffs' cases

-Belle (CES) learns that Beast (BEB) has been intimate with Mrs. Potts (host)

-rowdy teen's (EGN) "you don't know me" claim is repeatedly disproven by audience

-Wait A Second, That Shouldn't Be There!- untimely products are captured on film

May 18, 2019-Paul Rudd

*enablers back Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) with "Don't Stop Me Now" variation

-Ms. Rafferty (KAM) was harassed by cavemen when she traveled back in time

-What's Wrong With This Picture- dim contestants make inaccurate guesses

-shopkeeper (host) helps (KYM) & (CES) recall song about a farting ballerina

-The View- panelists enjoy Pete Buttigieg (host) & his husband (BEB)

-at a slumber party, summoned demon (MEV) wants to join the girl squad