September 29, 1990-Kyle MacLachlan
*George Bush (DAC) uses animal metaphors to communicate with Iraqis
-Sprockets- Dieter (MIM) & (host) watch Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos
-Twin Peaks- Dale Cooper (host) ignores clues pointing to murderer to continue show
-white record executives give Luther Campbell (CSR) lyric suggestions
-Stuart Rankin's (MIM) son (host) doesn't want his pop's All Things Scottish store
-Frank Sinatra (PHH) gives George Michael (DAC) advice about fame
-lonesome cowboys (host) (PHH) (DAC) sing about cattle's ultimate fate
October 6, 1990-Susan Lucci
*Victor Kiam (PHH) introduces Classic Bitch & Lezbo electric shavers
-Live With Regis (DAC) & Kathie Lee (JAH)- host & martial artist (MIM) counter routine
-All My Luggage- at the airport, (host) gets bad news about her baggage
-Great Love Stories- unconventional couples describe how they met
-Game Breakers- manipulative Erica Kane (host) gets special treatment against (JAH)
-(host) is proud when her 12-year-old daughter (VIJ) gets her first period
-(MIM) vows not to cry when his office holds a going-away party for him
-M.C. Hammer's (CSR) version of The Sound of Music is Broadway-bound
October 20, 1990-George Steinbrenner
*in a dream, host manages the Yankees & plays every position on the field
-Middle-Aged Man (MIM) advises (JAH) on whether her husband is having an affair
-convenience store owner (host) can't bring himself to fire any employees
-Slapped By Beaver Tails- guests discuss run-ins with angry dam dwellers
-Attack Of The Colossal Lincoln- budget impasse unleashes evil statue (PHH)
-Lorne Michaels & Al Franken explain to host why he's among dictators in a fake Slim-Fast ad
-What Was I Thinking?- Shelley Long (JAH), Walter Mondale (DAC) & host share regrets
-(host) insists on paying for fancy meals since it makes the others look bad
-host hits on female reporter (JAH) complaining about a sexist ballplayer
October 27, 1990-Parick Swayze
*Dirty Square Dancing- at a hoe-down, (host) & (JAH) do all but go down
-Pumping Up With Hans (DAC) & Franz (KEN)- the duo have unexplained feelings for host
-Ghost romance sours when Sam (host) sees Molly's (VIJ) disgusting habits
-Super Feud- Latino crooners (host) & (DAC) one-up each other on album
-sexy (host) & flabby (CHF) compete for job as a Chippendale dancer
-The Tonight Show- guests are Susan Dey (JAH) & Arsenio Hall (CSR)
-White Trash Bed & Breakfast- reviewer (DAC) visits the trailer park clan
-seminar helps people who don't understand the concept of a mouse trap
November 10, 1990-Jimmy Smits
*George Bush (DAC) emphasizes that Mario Cuomo has a foreign-sounding name
-Game Challengers- (host) competes to reclaim Native American artifacts
-white NBC News employees overdo their Spanish pronunciations
-Simon (MIM)- while in the tub, a neglected English boy shows his drawings
-(host) is frustrated by ditzy (JUS)'s short attention span & bad stories
-The Dark Side- Nat X (CSR) discusses race with host & Gerry Cooney (KEN)
-doormen (ROS) & (KEN) discuss building tenants behind their backs
-(host), (VIJ) & (CHF) live in a sideways mobile home in crowded NYC
-(host)'s clever-sounding verbal reversals irritate fellow policeman (DAC)
November 17, 1990-Dennis Hopper
*Live With Regis (DAC) & Kathie Lee (JAH)- morning talk in Saudi Arabia
-even in his dreams, Toonces manages to drive over a cliff
-(host) & his friends treat inflatable dolls as if they were real women
-co-workers silently mock (JUS) & (Paul Simon) after learning of affair
-Confederate Civil War soldiers prepare to have group photo taken
-What Animal Were You Raised By?- (host) recalls his non-human guardians
-Stan Duffy's Gambling To Win- (KEN) fails to follow his own advice
December 1, 1990-John Goodman
*Church Chat- Church Lady (DAC) & her mother (host) gang up on Saddam Hussein (PHH)
-people in (host)'s store are referred to by their annoying traits
-Keith Richards (DAC) helps ease Mick Jagger's (MIM) wedding day jitters
-Telly Savalas (PHH) plugs Player-With-Yourselves-Club wanking privileges
-The McLaughlin (DAC) Group- the controlling moderator has all the answers
-flow of dinner table conversation is interrupted by the need to chew food
-Wayne's World- Wayne (MIM) and Garth (DAC) watch Madonna's Justify My Love video
-Davy Crockett (host) doesn't know what to make of his bookish son (MIM)
-(KEN) tries to figure out the sex of androgynous co-worker Pat (JUS)
December 8, 1990-Tom Hanks
*Mr. Subliminal (KEN) gives an editorial reply about America's Iraq policy
-family doesn't listen to each other when it comes to gross behavior
-Game Beaters- Mr. Short-Term Memory (host) is a contestant with Tony Randall [real]
-The Global Warming Christmas Special- celebrities show effects of excess carbon dioxide
-P. Whipped- panelists' female-dominated relationships complicate show
-Sabra Shopping Network- (host) & callers argue over overpriced duds
-(host) seeks psychiatrist's (PHH) help regarding his double-take reactions
December 15, 1990-Dennis Quaid
*George Bush (DAC) gives Saddam Hussein a preview of the sounds of war
-Dysfunctional Family Christmas- album of holiday songs for troubled clans
-Sally Jessy Raphael (JAH)- narcoleptic hunks (host) (PHH) (MIM) doze off
-members of (VIJ)'s family still adore her ex-boyfriend (host)
-massage students in an adult education seminar have personal problems
-rebel pilot's (host) reckless stunts aren't limited to airplane tricks
-Sprockets- Dieter (MIM) sings Silent Night to Bavarian TV stars (host) & (CSR)
-The Specialty Songs Of Cal McLane, Jr. (host)- a patriotic country album
January 12, 1991-Joe Mantegna
*George Bush (DAC) ambushes Saddam Hussein (PHH) a la Michael Corleone
-on a radio talk show, city employee (host) downplays NYC's crime problem
-Nightline- a Desert Storm soldier's (host) family loves him & is proud
-Officer Miller (PHH) shares his wisdom with a 14-year-old smoker (CHF)
-I'm Chillin'- Onski (CSR) & B Fats (CHF) broadcast from the projects
-pipe factory owner (host) & secretary (JAH) dictate wordy complaint letter
-Bill Swerski (host) & the other Super Fans talk about the Chicago Bears
-Insane Inventors- Thomas Edison (DAC) & The Wolfman (host) collaborate
-wound closings are remembered at funeral of cut-man Eddie "The Clot" O'Hanlon
January 19, 1991-Sting
*Wayne's (MIM) World- opinions on the best & worst of Gulf War TV coverage
-during a long elevator ride, fans (KEN) & (DAC) sing host's songs to him
-The Sinatra (PHH) Group- Sinead O'Connor (JAH) & others discuss issues
-Richard Laymer (ROS) annoys his co-workers with elaborate nicknames
-Dr. Frankenstein (host) tries to expand his monster's (PHH) verbal skills
-Coffee Talk- Paul Baldwin (MIM) takes calls about dogs & daughters
-flashbacks show the first time (VIJ) met her husband's (host) parents (PHH) (JUS)
-Ernie Hitchens (MIM) suggests (host)'s bleak poetry could be brighter
February 9, 1991-Kevin Bacon
*reporters at a Desert Storm press briefing ask for classified information
-Richard Laymer (ROS) loses his socialization enabler when the copier breaks
-The Dark Side- Nat X's (CSR) guests are Colin Powell (TIM) & Vanilla Ice (host)
-members of The Sarcastic Clapping Family Of Southampton speak their mind
-(host) has no problems with potential roommate's (DAC) strange habits
-Dance Party USA- teens boogie in support of the Gulf War effort
-SoundStage- (host) only contributes handclaps in lopsided folk duo
-Daily Affirmation- insecure Stuart Smalley (Al Franken) teaches self-acceptance
-a Desert Storm soldier (host) sings "Cleaning My Rifle & Dreaming Of You"
February 16, 1991-Roseanne
*army general Mr. Subliminal (KEN) briefs the press about the Gulf War
-MetroCard- operator (host) & customer (PHH) remember a call for help
-Misery II- DAC's biggest fan (host) makes him keep Church Lady alive
-Sally Jessy Raphael (JAH)- host & Tom Arnold [real] respond to TV movie
-(host) fails to figure out whether androgynous Pat (JUS) is a man or a woman
-A Presidents' Day Remembrance- Abraham (PHH) vs. Mary Todd (host) Lincoln
-Comedy Killers- stand-up comics on a game show about unfunny topics
-White Trash History Minute- how tuna noodle casserole was created
February 23, 1991-Alec Baldwin
*The McLaughlin (DAC) Group- panelists don't get a chance to give answers
-on The Honest Planet, office workers communicate with the truth
-The Sinead O'Connor (JAH) Awards- materialism in music industry is marked
-host is a product of Lank Thompson's (MIM) "I'm A Handsome Actor" course
-Pan Am will let anyone who flies to Europe during Gulf War keep the plane
-The Godfather, Part IV- Michael Corleone (host) is the don of the future
-I'm Chillin'- Onski (CSR) sends F'ed Up malt liquor to the Gulf War troops
-(JUS) is flustered by face-to-face confession to handsome priest (host)
-wide-nosed Cyrano de Bergerac (TIM) helps (host) get with Roxanne (JAH)
March 16, 1991-Michael J. Fox
*during a George Bush (DAC) speech, Dan Quayle (host) mistimes his claps
-circus owner (PHH) tells clown (host) that his stinging act isn't working
-at his high school reunion, hitman (KEN) is quick to volunteer services
-America's Most Wanted- former child actors plan their latest crime
-Daily Affirmation- Stuart Smalley (Al Franken) is upset with his new time slot
-Not Gettin' Any- losers ponder the source of their sexual inactivity
-elevator fans (KEN) & (DAC) give host a similar song treatment
March 23, 1991-Jeremy Irons
*Pumping Up With Hans (DAC) & Franz (KEN)- they intend to liberate Kuwait on a camel
-Richard Laymer (ROS) gets emotional at a goodbye party for co-worker (host)
-Sherlock Holmes (host) spoils the fun at his own surprise party
-lonesome cowboys (host) (PHH) (DAC) sing about the unappealing nature of their job
-(JUS), (JAH) & (VIJ) love the novelty of (host)'s English accent
-Wayne's (MIM) World- the boys announce their Oscar picks
-Hannibal Lecter (host) analyzes rageaholic cellmate Mace (PHH)
-Buzz Pen- shave phone messages into friends' hair
-Looney Tunes Classics- host plugs album of classical music from cartoons
April 13, 1991-Catherine O’Hara
*Frank Sinatra (PHH) & Nancy Reagan (JAH) deceive Ronald
-Sprockets- actress' (host) films involve rusty metal box & caribou
-MTV Spring Break '91- drunken Kennedys & partygoers mingle at compound
-druggist (host) fails to detect androgynous Pat's (JUS) sex from purchases
-Fantastic Woman's (host) flight is criticized by Justice League of America
-politically incorrect P.I. (KEN) investigates murder of a black professor
-In Conclusion Theatre- last act of a play doesn't make sense
-Daily Affirmation- Stuart (Al Franken) gives thoughts on the Kurds in Iraq
-(host) causes ritual dilemma by wearing a wedding dress to her fiancé’s funeral
April 20, 1991-Steven Seagal
*Pumping Up With Hans (DAC) & Franz (KEN)- host confronts duo after they insult him
-Richard Laymer (ROS) gets on the bad side of demoted rebellious cop Nico (host)
-Gulf War soldier (TIM) receives one of many All-Star Celebrity Tributes
-The Dark Side- Nat X (CSR) interviews Andrew Dice Clay (host)
-Michael Bolton [real] & others do benefit recording for free-range chickens
-(host) uses intimidation to ensure his daughter's (VIJ) safety on a date with (CHF)
-Greenpeace photographer Brace Steele (host) stumbles upon Exxon conspiracy
May 11, 1991-Delta Burke
*George Bush (DAC) proves he's in good health despite Graves' disease
-Wayne's (MIM) World- a dream sequence game of Truth Or Dare with Madonna [real]
-NRA Theatre- nightmarish scenario shows America under the Brady Bill
-food group freak (host) & others attend a Weight Watchers meeting
-Ocean's Eleven clip has gay Sammy Davis, Jr. (TIM) & Frank Sinatra (PHH)
-bar patrons (PHH) & (KEN) stage a revolt against karaoke machine hog (host)
-Coffee Talk- Paul Baldwin (MIM) & ex-girlfriend (host) on java & baseball
-women (host) & (JAH) interrupt their conversation to yell at their kids
May 18, 1991-George Wendt
*backstage, Lorne Michaels wishes DEM luck before his last show
-Mr. No-Depth Perception- nearsighted guy (KEN) throws a dinner party
-Bob Swerski (host) & other Super Fans talk about the Bulls & the Bears
-Retired Man (host) helps Middle-Aged Man (MIM) battle Independent Widow (JAH)
-The Carsenio Show- Johnny Carson (DAC) borrows from Arsenio's program
-a family's order at Burger Barn's drive-through gets very complicated
-doo-wop group (host) (DAC) (TIM) (CSR) (CHF) get personal in their lyrics
-barber's (host) small talk doesn't reveal the sex of androgynous Pat (JUS)
-I'm Chillin'- Onski (CSR) plugs Long Leak malt liquor & You're That Guy credit
-The Sunrise Show- singer of kids' songs (host) switches to raunchy lyrics
No comments:
Post a Comment