September 26, 1992-Nicholas Cage
*Woody Allen (DAC) runs into Mia Farrow (JAH) outside a movie theater
-Tiny Elvis (host)- miniature King dislikes buddies calling him cute
-Ross Perot (DAC) uses money to demonstrate his influence over others
-expectant father (host) rejects baby names that have taunting potential
-Nightline- stupid undecided voters question patient Bill Clinton (PHH)
-The Queen Shenequa (ELC) Show- Bobby Brown [real] discusses no blacks in Woody Allen movies
-Mr. Casual Sex (ROS) responds to Dan Quayle a la Murphy Brown
October 3, 1992-Tim Robbins
*Ross Perot (DAC) rejects "quitter" label & lays out his plans for the USA
-Caracci's Pizza guarantees that any unsanitary pie is half-price
-time-warped Founding Fathers (PHH) (host) (KEN) are questioned about scandals
-Cooking With Dennis Miller (DAC)- guest DAS helps prepare a dish
-Sunday Morning Videos- (ROS) & preacher (host) on what makes great sex
-Bob Roberts (host) & young conservatives sing songs & burn books at a campfire
-Larry King (KEN) Live- show atmosphere puts Brian Wilson (host) on edge
-Tori Spelling (MEH) previews new 90210 season & trashes Shannen Doherty
-world's nicest pimp Sweet Jimmy (host) genuinely cares about his whores
-Daily Affirmation- Stuart (Al Franken) explains what he & Bill Clinton have in common
October 10, 1992-Joe Pesci
*George Bush (DAC), Bill Clinton (PHH) & Ross Perot (DAC) debate each other
-The Bensonhurst Dating Game- bachelor competition creates racial tension
-(host) shops for a pinky ring that'll go with his style of communication
-Single White Person- androgynous Pat (JUS) gets an obsessive roommate (MEH)
-bank robbers waiting for TV news exposure sit through endless commercials
-(host) & (ROS) deliver fake insulting phone messages to pedestrians
October 24, 1992-Christopher Walken
*Ross Perot (DAC) ditches Admiral Stockdale (PHH) on the side of the road
-The Continental (host) flirts when a woman comes to reclaim her glove
-Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic (host) annoys co-workers with mediocre visions
-Stalk Talk- guests discuss the nature of their obsessive trailing
-androgynous Pat's (JUS) new boss (host) is baffled by gender curiosity
-sleuths watch their mentor (host) undergo embarrassing medical procedures
-(host) sings about catching crabs on "The Boulevard Of Broken Balls"
October 31, 1992-Catherine O’Hara
*Ross Perot (DAC) talks about dirty tricks played on him by the GOP
-an anonymous gift of Ass Don't Smell gives (KEN) a scent-free butt
-(PHH) & siblings grow weary of Nanny Greenwood's (host) sweet songs
-Richard Laymer (ROS) nicknames Halloween costume-wearing co-workers
-My Dinner With Sister Souljah- (TIM) ignores (ELC)’s black-power tirades
-Pumping Up with Hans (DAC) & Franz (KEN)- they belittle trick-or-treaters' costumes
-Daily Affirmation- Stuart (Al Franken) tells a scary story with a happy ending
-after years of drinking from cursed Mexican mugs, (host) experiences brain decay
-Marilyn Monroe-costumed (host) wakes up next to JFK outfitted (KEN)
November 14, 1992-Michael Keaton
*George Bush (DAC) calls campaign contributors to apologize for losing
-elevator operator (ROS) gives nervous trainee (host) tips on small talk
-Gutenberg Awards- Billy Crystal (ROS) emcees publishing industry honors
-(host)'s attempts to join new co-workers' jokes come off as mean-spirited
-on a first date, (host) finds out that (JUS) is no longer a sexual deviant
-to enable makeout session, (host) has (CHF) take care of grandma (ADS)
-Outweek- (host) & (DAC) don't limit celebrity exposure to homosexuality
November 21, 1992-Sinbad
*depressed George Bush (DAC) gives Bill Clinton (PHH) a White House tour
-The Gloria Brigade- gay Civil War unit has dinner with black soldiers
-Black Motorist Today- guests discuss how to avoid harassment from troopers
-Black Lightning (host) & other superheroes pay their respects at Superman's funeral
-At Home With Monica- tennis star Seles (MEH) grunts around the house & more
-The Dark Side- Joe Jackson (host) reacts to Nat X (CSR) about Jackson family biopic
-The Proud Pattersons- overacting dramatizes the black condition
-at an office Thanksgiving party, (host) translates lingo for friend (DAC)
December 5, 1992-Tom Arnold
*Wayne's World- Wayne (MIM) & Garth (DAC) honor Bill Clinton with a top 10 list
-Sex & Peer Pressure At Valley High- gay teens in PBS afterschool special
-Bill Clinton (PHH) explains Somalia by eating food at McDonald's
-Super Fans visit Bob Swerski (George Wendt) in the hospital
-Tales From The Ambulance- paperclip distributor (host) faces downsizing
-Porno Buyers' Service representative (ROS) is efficient but not discreet
-high-school equivalent degree receivers attend 10-year class reunion
December 12, 1992-Glenn Close
*Queen Elizabeth (MIM) lists the terms of the Charles & Di separation
-What's The Best Way?- game show features direction-giving New Englanders
-Coffee Talk- Judy Richman (host) discusses Linda's (MIM) daughter's engagement
-Bob Cratchit's (PHH) wife (host) still doesn't like changed man Scrooge
-spoiled Tori Spelling (MEH) shows off 90210 fragrances in her room
-the least bit of pleasure causes Orgasm Guy (ROS) to climax
-lesbians & sperm donor (KEN) attend a politically-correct holiday gathering
-Daily Affirmation- Stuart (Al Franken) prepares to visit his dysfunctional family
January 9, 1993-Danny DeVito
*Bob (George Wendt) & Bill (Joe Mantegna) Swerski write a letter to protest Mike Ditka's firing
-Simon (MIM)- American tub-sharer Vinnie (host) has ties to the mob
-Masterpiece Theatre- the PBS Amy Fisher tale "The House Of Buttafuoco"
-restaurant patrons imply guilt by suspiciously shifting their eyes
-Gap employees Kristy (DAS) & Lucy (ADS) hassle Di (MEH) & other customers
-Charlton Heston (PHH) narrates Madonna's book "Sex" for Books On Tape
-Unbelievable New Breakthroughs- Mary Jo Buttafuoco (JAH) uses hair-in-a-can
-hitman (host) doesn't hide his occupation from his wife (JUS) very well
-support group for adults still living with their parents holds a meeting
January 16, 1993-Harvey Keitel
*Madonna [real] inaugurates happy Bill Clinton (PHH) a la Marilyn Monroe
-fancy restaurant bathroom attendant (KEN) makes (host) self-conscious
-mush-mouthed transit workers produce unintelligible subway announcements
-(host) tries to figure out the gender of fellow castaway androgynous Pat (JUS)
-George Bush (DAC) cleans out his desk & talks with Dan Quayle (Jeff Renaudo)
-Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer- Cirroc (PHH) tries primitive act in Mexican court
-an insane idiot (host) shows his collection of descending-size deer heads
-(MIM) & (JUS) get alternating orders to get in and out of (host)'s cab
February 6, 1993-Luke Perry
*Bill (PHH) & Hillary (JAH) Clinton greet oddballs occupying the White House
-Prince Charles (DAC) steps down to be Camilla Parker-Bowles' (JUS) tampon
-dumb yard boy (host) doesn't understand older woman's (JUS) sexual advances
-dwindling population of wish-granting magic fish is topic of town meeting
-High School Liar's Club- contestants bluff to impress fellow students
-Sassy's Sassiest Boys- Russell Clark (PHH) with insolent heartthrobs
-country boy (host) tells folks (MEH) & (PHH) goodbye before leaving home
February 13, 1993-Alec Baldwin
*Dateline NBC anchors (MIM) & (JUS) admit ethical lapses of the network
-The Mimic (host)- (JUS) hires self-proclaimed master of 1000 voices
-The Chris Farley Show- CHF asks Paul McCartney [real] some dumb questions
-French teacher (host) makes sure students' inflection matches his
-Soap Opera Digest- TV doctor (host) mispronounces medical terms
-Gap employees Kristy (DAS) & Lucy (ADS) both think (host) is their boyfriend
-Naked Woman Theatre- (host) responds to complaints the show has received
-Daily Affirmation- Stuart (Al Franken) deconstructs some Valentine's Day cards
-David Hasselhoff (host) & Patti LaBelle (ELC) star in The Bodyguard TV series
February 20, 1993-Bill Murray
*Beverly Hills residents question Bill Clinton (PHH) about his policies
-The WhipMaster- an untrained actor (BIM) takes over the title role
-Frequent Flyer (BIM) gives gratuitous tips to his fellow passengers
-Tommy Two-Step (BIM) prepares men's jazz dancing ensemble for the big show
-Coffee Talk- Linda (MIM) & neighbor (BIM) discuss the year's Oscar nominations
-I'm Chillin'- Onski (CSR) shares a mother joke & plugs Bitch Come Running cologne
-to get free food, Honker (BIM) poses as a meat inspector testing for tainted beef
March 13, 1993-John Goodman
*Richard Laymer (ROS) chats with David Koresh (MIM) in the Waco compound
-jock (host) finds that (CHF) has taken over as nerd's (ROS) protector
-Soylent Green director (host) talks about his less successful sequels
-How'd You Do That?- guests tell origins of their accidental disfigurements
-while on a cruise, Linda Richman (MIM) & (host) talk about all the great food
-partygoers pretend to believe eccentric loser Canteen Boy's (ADS) stories
-once again, Turkish (ROS) is the target of (host)'s anti-Arab attitude
-traditional Irish singers perform rock classics & rap on new albums
-The Man Without A Shout- tragedy causes (host) to never raise his voice
March 20, 1993-Miranda Richardson
*androgynous Pat (JUS) sings "The Crying Game" for Jude (host) & Fergus (Stephen Rea)
-actor (PHH) frustrates (host)'s attempts to complete an emotional scene
-after WWII soldier (MIM) recovers, nurse (host) gives him a series of bad news
-heterosexuals Eager (CHF) & Jones (TIM) sing duets as if they were gay
-MTV Spring Break U.K. '93- VJs get roughed up by British hooligans
-Russell Simmons' Def Magic Show Jam features foul-mouthed illusionists
-spineless pub owner (CHF) recalls celebrities taking advantage of him
April 10, 1993-Jason Alexander
*Bill Clinton (PHH) makes an Indecent Proposal to Boris Yeltsin (CHF)
-Woody Allen's legal troubles are discussed at a meeting of his fan club
-workers at Hub's Gyros talk about (host)'s liking for "the juice"
-grocery store employees (host) & (ROS) try to find privacy during their break
-mob boss (host) repeatedly blunders by having thugs release (TIM) prematurely
-Ignorant Proposal- stakes are lowered considerably in all-black version
-Tales of Irony- three stories fail to contain any real ironic elements
-changing traits make (host) repeatedly misidentify new black co-workers
April 17, 1993-Kirstie Alley
*SNL's recurring characters sing "Fire Bad" for post-Rodney King unity
-affectionate Italians bother the Kirpatricks (host) & (KEN) in their hotel room
-The Montel Williams (TIM) Show- audience member's (host) comments fall flat
-overeager new employee at a make-up counter (host) tends to customers
-disclaimers fail to warn viewers about sketches involving vomit
-Victorian women (host) & (JUS) are unaware of future historical tragedies
-Susan Powter's (host) videos center around revenge against her ex-husband
May 8, 1993-Christina Applegate
*Coffee Talk- alone & verklempt Linda (MIM) takes calls on Mother's Day
-Focus On Beauty II- Cher (host) loves Lori Davis' (CHF) no-alcohol spray
-The Backwards Romance- the events in (PHH)'s play are non-chronological
-Kristy (DAS) & Lucy (ADS) help a new employee (host) at The Gap adjust
-motivational speaker Matt Foley (CHF) warns teens (DAS) & (host) about using drugs
-You Bet Your Life- Bill Cosby (ADS) babbles his way through game show
-G-Spot members (TIM) & (CSR) sing "All I Wanna Do Is Suck Your Big Toe"
-an actress (host) gets some disturbing warnings just before an audition
May 15, 1993-Kevin Kline
*Bill (PHH) & Hillary (JAH) Clinton deal with Bob Dole (DAA) differently
-otherwise-suave Italian's (host) flatulence ruins encounter with (JUS)
-Don Lapre (DAS) tells How To Find Financial Freedom with a 900 number
-Hub's Gyros workers travel to Mount Olympus to get more juice
-Shmee- youngster's (CSR) magical bee (CHF) stops a burglary attempt
-(host) doesn't understand Dr. Frankenstein's (PHH) reanimation theory
No comments:
Post a Comment