September 18, 1976-Lily Tomlin
*big-shot host arrives with entourage intending to do the show without rehearsal
-Debate '76- Gerald Ford (CHC) & Jimmy Carter (DAA) discuss the issues
-eccentric Tess DiSenzo (host) chats with a real estate salesman (GAM)
-Women In Literature- Elna Sullivan's (LAN) journal entries lack depth
September 25, 1976-Norman Lear
*with GIR's help, hospitalized CHC simulates a fall via phone
-Jimmy Carter (DAA) says his lusty heart preserves Democratic tradition
-The Snakehandling O'Sheas- host's sitcom about a family with odd traits
-Joseph Franklin (DAA) describes the effects of metric time conversion
-divorce lawyer (JOB) abuses (GIR) while coaching her testimony
-Henry Kissinger (JOB) uses song while dealing Rhodesian negotiations
October 2, 1976-Eric Idle
*hospitalized CHC phones SNL to confront his impostor (Richard Belzer)
-(DAA) & (GIR) choose their future baby's traits with doctor's (host) help
-KLOG deejay (DAA) switches personas to match station's AM & FM formats
-host's British words disrupt sketch about Killer Bees at swine flu center
-druggist (DAA) plugs syringe-based Epifix for super-fast headache relief
-Allied spies (host) & (DAA) make plans at a Nazi hangout during WWII
-Dragnet- (host) & Joe Friday (DAA) investigate crimes in women's clothing
-Pets & Petting- (host) shows how to feed people food to goldfish during Jacques Cousteau show
-Cufflinks Of The Gods?- (LAN) displays evidence of alien cosmic existence
October 16, 1976-Karen Black
*JOB dumps recovering CHC out of his wheelchair
-Baba Wawa (GIR) At Large- Indira Gandhi (LAN) defends antidemocratic policies
-Debate '76- Gerald Ford (CHC) & Jimmy Carter (DAA) inspire reluctance
-truth in advertising laws allow Green Cross claim of cancer-free cupcakes
-Love Russian Style- stressed Catherine the Great (host) mates with horse lover
-high school nerd (DAA) reunites with cheerleader (JAC) at a lunch counter
October 23, 1976-Steve Martin
*disgruntled Yankee (CHC) hangs manager (DAA) after World Series loss
-Speak Out For Milk- CHC says too much during multiple takes for ad
-Jeopardy! 1999- contestants' questions provide a glimpse of the future
-the Fido-Flex digital watch dog is the only canine that can tell the time
-DAA welcomes poet (host) among other wild performers in a beatnik bar
-Looks At Books- (host) gives results of research into abstinence & sports
-Ted Baxter's (host) Drano-in-coffee prank kills Mary Richards (LAN)
-Mysteries in Medicine- elaborate diet plan involves fake Eskimo (JOB)
October 30, 1976-Buck Henry
*trick-or-treating Land Shark (CHC) gets (GIR) on Halloween
-Samurai Stockbroker- Futaba (JOB) makes Mr. Dantley (host) worried about his investments
-Not For First Ladies Only- Baba Wawa (GIR) queries Betty Ford (JAC) & Rosalynn Carter (LAN)
-Debate '76- Jimmy Carter (DAA) & Gerald Ford (CHC) compete in beauty pageant
-the Super Bat-O-Matic '77 is the witch's aid for blending magic potions
-The OintMENt- a search for the real parents of devil child Damian (JOB)
November 13, 1976-Dick Cavett
*(GAM) hits his TV when Chroma-Trak girl (GIR)'s colors are reproduced wrong
-Richard Nixon (DAA) tried to pin Watergate on John Dean (host)
-Crossroads- communication breakdown is caused by (JOB)'s desire to drop out
-How Things Work- (host) explains to JAC how pressure groups work
-grandparent Bees (JOB) & (LAN) recall overcoming past discrimination
November 20, 1976-Paul Simon
*host says hi to CHC on his way into studio & Lorne Michaels bargains with George Harrison [real]
-Baba Wawa (GIR) At Large- Henry Kissinger (JOB) talks about his career
-The Twilite Zone- three starlets (JAC) (LAN) (GIR) are trapped in a hotel room
-Billy Paul (host) fights for civil rights in an ice cream parlor
-Tomorrow- it's clear that Tom Snyder (DAA) has no idea who host is
November 27, 1976-Jodie Foster
*upset GIR tells viewers that she won't be in much of tonight's show
-Wendy (host) doesn't believe in Bee Peter Pan (LAN) or Tinkerbee (JOB)
-host shows how Rovco's big Puberty Helper bag prevents teen trauma
-airport security guard (LAN) detains metal-loaded (DAA)
-Don Pardo, The First 50 Years- (DAA) narrates Don Pardo's life history
-smitten (host) has a chat with junior high biology teacher (DAA)
-(JAC) reveals to her husband (GAM) that she's not black
December 11, 1976-Candice Bergen
*home from prison, Patty Hearst (GIR) spends the evening with her family
-DAA sells Santi-Wrap as protection from unhygienic Santas like (JOB)
-Consumer Probe- Irwin Mainway (DAA) defends some unsafe children's toys
-Fern's (host) friend Lisa (GIR) supports the right to extreme stupidity
-the new FX-70 cheese slicer resembles a Polaroid camera
-The Killer Trees- (DAA) & (JOB) search for the bloodthirsty arbor
-host announces the Adopt JOB For Christmas Contest as he has nowhere to go
January 15, 1977-Ralph Nader
*safety hazards at Studio 8H dampen host's attempt to lighten his image
-(BIM) starts badmouthing his grandson while waiting for his call
-(BIM) directs the dress rehearsal for a televised execution
-host dreams of Jimmy Carter (DAA) planning a Confederate takeover
-host "tests" party dolls during a magazine reporter's (GAM) visit
-aliens Beldar (DAA) & Prymaat (JAC) Conehead have adapted to Earth life
-Youth Ask The Questions- students give host unimportant questions
January 22, 1977-Ruth Gordon
*prospect of drug cutoff makes injured JOB well enough to do SNL
-Emily Litella (GIR) & sister Essie (host) discuss issues of the day
-Tomorrow- Dino De Laurentiis (JOB) talks to Tom Snyder (DAA) about the King Kong remake
-(DAA) identifies truly Crazy Frank as source of Crazy Ernie's low prices
-Little Old Ladies Of The Night- elderly (host) becomes a hooker
-a girl (GIR) asks her babysitter (host) some questions about sex
-projector repairman (GAM) observes dying Howard Hughes' (LAN) obsessions
-anthropologist's (host) breast-filled footage excites E. Buzz Miller (DAA)
January 29, 1977-Fran Tarkenton
*JOB coaches host & cast on what to do during tonight's show
-(DAA) pitches Rovco's multi-purpose Swiss Army Gun
-Secret Service agents (BIM) & (DAA) help Amy Carter (LAN) cheat on a quiz
-Black Perspective- host confirms stereotypes about blacks as quarterbacks
-(BIM) & (JAC) get great food & domestic strife at an in-house restaurant
-host gets strength he needs from sugar-frosted Anabolic Steroids cereal
-host says "thanks to Community Appeal, drug-fazed JOB is working"
-with JOB's coaching, host does a hotel room sketch with LAN
-French Liquid- the new perfume gives different scents to different women
-Rhonda Weiss (GIR) & credit card employee Barbara (JAC) one-up each other
February 26, 1977-Steve Martin
*the cast is unhappy that host's success has gone to his head
-IRS agent (host) asks Coneheads (DAA) (JAC) (LAN) some questions about their tax returns
-Celebrity Weightlifting- Russian (JOB) defeats Jackie Onassis (GIR)
-the pages of Dr. Breadloaf's (GIR) Quickloss Diet Book are the meals
-doctor (host) tries to "accidentally" pull the plug on comatose boy (JOB)
-Hollywood Bingo- (host) consumes game show with celebrity introductions
-Roots II- accounts of more oppressed ancestors of Alex Haley (GAM) are told
-on a blind date, (host) & (GIR) discover they have plenty in common
March 12, 1977-Sissy Spacek
*sudden death of director Dave Wilson prompts castmember eulogies
-Burger Master makes your sandwich how you want it since no request is too odd
-Ask President Carter- (DAA) has the answers for all callers' questions
-ex-con nanny (GAM) tells Amy Carter (host) a scandalous bedtime story
-How Your Children Grow- JAC interviews quintlexia sufferer (BIM)
-JOB announces that he's leaving show business to train for the decathlon
-terminally cute women (host), (GIR) & (LAN) suffer from Gidget's Disease
-argument of white trash couple (JOB) & (host) is prompted by impotence
-Bad Playhouse- Leonard Pinth-Garnell (DAA) presents The Millkeeper
March 19, 1977-Broderick Crawford
*Rhonda Weiss (GIR) & Rhondettes sing "Goodbye Saccharine"
-Samurai Hit Man- Futaba (JOB) will pose as Benihana chef to carry out contract
-Mel's Hide Heaven- (DAA) supplies the cow, you make your own clothes
-Lucy (GIR) gets a job putting whipped cream on nuclear warheads
-Highway Patrol- Jack Kerouac (JOB) in DWI Siamese twin hostage situation
-Baba Wawa (GIR) At Large- an interview with Godzilla (JOB) in his L.A. home
-Richard Nixon (DAA) wants J. Edgar Hoover (host) to support police force
March 26, 1977-Jack Burns
*JOB refuses to say SNL's opening line until his demands are met
-Larry (JOB) & Bobbi (GIR) Farber have Coneheads (DAA) (JAC) (LAN) over for dinner
-(host) performs a militaristic wedding service for Marines (DAA) & (JAC)
-Eliot Ness (DAA) & Untouchables take over India from Indira Gandhi (LAN)
-old-fashioned pharmacist (DAA) prescribes leeches to (BIM) & (GIR)
-The Story Of The Squatters- crouching early Americans settle the frontier
-host blows suicidal businessman sketch by doing his jump without ducking
-Ask Big Daddy- Idi Amin (GAM) ignores massacres of citizens to callers
-Ricardo Montalban (DAA) tells how Pantygrams send messages via underwear
-drunk, washed-up comedy writer (host) approaches JAC & GIR in a bar
April 9, 1977-Julian Bond
*Emily Litella's (GIR) new love makes her feel like a "national" woman
-Black Perspective- GAM & host on IQ differences among & within the races
-host & Andrew Young (GAM) remind Jimmy Carter (DAA) of campaign promises
-Dr. X, Family Counsellor (DAA) assesses catatonic Colleen (GIR)
-(host) uses Right On Afro Lustre, the hairspray in a fist-shaped canister
-Great Moments In Motown- a musical group adopts hand gestures & dancing
-deranged announcer taunts a little girl (GIR) as she eats Creeley's Soup
-Bad Cinema- Truman Capote (JOB) & others review "ooh-la-la! les legs!"
-the Farbers (JOB) (GIR) try to convince host of their neighborhood's racial tolerance
April 16, 1977-Elliott Gould
*Leonid Brezhnev (JOB) moves NBC Olympic coverage into Tonight Show spot
-Merkon (GAM) arrives from Remulak to check on Coneheads' (DAA) (JAC) (LAN) progress
-You've Come A Long Way, Buddy- men talk about men's issues
-at a resort, lounge singer Nick Summers (BIM) works unresponsive crowd
-United Face Bank- Joan Crawford (JAC) requests donations for the faceless
-automated teller machine enforces (GAM) & (BIM) to pointless security tests
-restaurant of Jason (DAA) & Sunset (LAN) serves animals that died of natural causes
April 23, 1977-Eric Idle
*Irishman (BIM) confesses when British soldier (host) threatens potato torture
-The Nixon (DAA) Interviews- David Frost (host) gets little good material
-Heavy Wit Championship- in the ring, (host) & (JOB) try to get laughs
-The Battle of Britain- low-budget British war film has simple flashbacks
-Plain Talk- (host) & (DAA) understand each other's nonsense sentences
-flight attendant Sherry (LAN) accommodates demands of gun-carrying passengers
May 14, 1977-Shelley Duvall
*after fight clip prevents Bee sketch, the female castmembers hassle host
-(DAA)'s disguise isn't as good as those of his fellow bank robbers
-Ricardo Montalban (DAA), Cesar Romero (JOB) & Fernando Lamas (BIM) need help identifying each other
-Elvis (JOB) plays aspiring Shakespearean actor in Viva Las Vegas II
-Baba Wawa (GIR) At Large- Richard Burton (BIM) on his ex-wife Elizabeth Taylor
-Bad Ballet- Leonard Pinth-Garnell (DAA) dances with mistreated birds in "Swan"
-Night Of The Moonies- cult members overwhelm deprogrammers (DAA) & (GAM)
-(DAA)'s van obsession surpasses his wife's (host) need for a Streisand album
May 21, 1977-Buck Henry
*Jimmy Carter (DAA) generates electricity to broadcast energy message
-Samurai B.M.O.C.- Futaba's (JOB) bad grades threaten his graduation
-showering Richard Herkiman (BIM) interviews his wife (GIR) & her lover (host)
-Coneheads (DAA) (JAC) (LAN) fly Chrysler Building to Remulak to meet with Kuldroth (JOB)
-at her bridal shower, Rhonda Weiss (GIR) comments on the gifts she receives
-How Your Children Grow- (host) & punctuator patient (GIR) condition JAC
-Charles Lindbergh (host) flies across the inky deeps of the icy Atlantic
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