Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Season 24 (98-99)

September 26, 1998-Cameron Diaz

*Oprah (TIM) 2002- Linda Tripp (John Goodman) & others recall the Lewinsky affair

-The View- Mark McGwire (WIF) sits in as Debbie Matenopoulos (host) battles a raccoon

-The Ladies' Man- Leon (TIM) & (host) act out scenes from the Starr Report

-The New Hollywood Squares- the game goes on in spite of the board collapsing

-at the Moomba Club, foxy (host) picks up Roxbury Guys (WIF) & (CHK)

-witches' (host) (ANG) (MOS) brew is remarked on its bad smell

-Jingleheimer Junction- new castmember (WIF) spells disaster for kids show


October 3, 1998-Kelsey Grammer

*in bed, Bill (DAH) gets cold shoulder from bitter Hillary (ANG) Clinton

-Margaret Jo (ANG) & Terry (MOS) talk wilderness food with naturalist-cannibal (host)

-(TRM) treats his grown-up son (Shaquille O'Neal) as if he were little

-a dame (MOS) turns film noir private eye's (host) thoughts to burritos

-(host) has (TRM) & (HOS) hose Baywatch girls in order to “wet ‘em down!’

-(host) tries to adapt wild Mr. Peepers (CHK) into high society

-Morning Latte- Tom (WIF) & Cass (CHO) bring on Shaquille O’Neal [real]

-Hello Dolly- personal problems affect saccharine pitch of (host) & (ANG)

-lumberjacks blame timber sports champion (WIF) for hogging Jesus' support


October 17, 1998-Lucy Lawless

*GOP leadership is open about coup d’état plans & contempt for citizens

-Judge Judy (CHO)- Judith Scheindlen [real] rules over slutty clown (host)

-White House In Crisis- Clinton scandal discussion becomes a slumber party

-Stevie Nicks' (host) Fajita Roundup offers music & Tex-Mex cuisine

-The How Do You Say? Ah Yes, Show- Antonio Banderas (CHK) is too sexy

-Biography- Jack Perkins (DAH) boozes during profile of Puff Daddy (TIM)

-Terence Maddox (WIF) disgusts (host) & her class of sculpture students

-Goth Talk- Circe (MOS) & Azrael (CHK) report on grand opening of The Emporium of Evil

-at the World Series, Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) play a medley to the National Anthem


October 24, 1998-Ben Stiller

*BES confronts his old boss Lorne Michaels in a kung fu battle on top of 30 Rock

-Celebrity Jeopardy!- Sean Connery (DAH), Adam Sandler (JIF), Tom Cruise (BES) are inept

-Pretty Living- joyologist Helen (MOS) expresses love for her guru (BES)

-at a Halloween party, Zimmermans' (CHK) & (CHO) sex play makes (BES) & (ANG) nervous

-Real Stories of the Highway Patrol- (WIF) & (BES) harass motorists

-30 year-old (BES) has frequent outbursts while living at home with his parents (CHP) & (ANG)

-art lends Steve Wynn's (BES) Bellagio Hotel & Casino buttloads of class


November 7, 1998-David Spade

*DAS complains to his therapist (Brad Pitt) about the curse of fame

-Monica Lewinsky (MOS) & publicist (DAS) screen potential interviewers

-Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet Love- finance & fornication mingle

-drill sergeant (WIF) aggressively requests love-life advice from recruits

-new dancer Kiwi (DAS) seems to have stolen Mango's (CHK) magic towards CSR

-kids' attempts to wish grandma "Happy Birthday" on the phone irritate (WIF)

-(DAS) ruins Felicity scene by also speaking Keri Russell's (MOS) part

-Dr. Laura Schlessinger (ANG) berates callers on her radio program

-chaperone (DAS) lays down the ground rules for bachelor party attendees


November 14, 1998-Joan Allen

*Bill Clinton (DAH) & Newt Gingrich (CHP) dance & sing "Opposites Attract"

-Martha Stewart's (ANG) mother (host) is a source of Thanksgiving friction

-VH-1 Spirituality Awards- transcendent celebrities receive acknowledgment

-defense attorney Suel Forrester (CHK) cross-examines witness (John Goodman)

-Space, The Infinite Frontier- in death, Harry Caray (WIF) remains goofy

-Learning With Jennifer Tilly (CHO)- host & French Stewart (JIF) drop in

-Southern tourists (host) (MOS) (CHO) (ANG) enjoy their trip to NYC

-Tarmac Talk- (TIM), (host) & Jerry Seinfeld (JIF) are blown around runway


November 21, 1998-Jennifer Love Hewitt

*Monica Lewinsky (MOS) & Linda Tripp (John Goodman) chat on the phone & pig out

-The Ladies' Man- Leon (TIM) gives inappropriate advice & plugs Skanksgiving Day

-Celine Dion's (ANG) duets album proves she's the best singer in the world

-The How Do You Say? Ah Yes, Show- Antonio Banderas (CHK) charms coed (host)

-hospital volunteers Craig (WIF) & Arianna (CHO) stumble upon pregnant classmate (host)

-Clean Teen Deodorant Spokesperson Search finds Mary Katherine Gallagher (MOS)

-Let's Make This Happen!- Hollywood players (WIF) & (host) pitch competitively

-Saddam Hussein's (WIF) private bunker is marked by adolescent accessories


December 5, 1998-Vince Vaughn

*oral sex experts testify for Senate committee investigating Bill Clinton (DAH)

-Dog Show- David Larry (WIF) & Miss Colleen (MOS) prefer canine company

-Trent Walker (host) makes Mr. Peepers (CHK) a Swinger during Vegas road trip

-settled (host) & (WIF) mislead engaged (JIF) about the joys of marriage

-ghosts of John Lennon (JIF) & Jerry Garcia (HOS) frustrate wisdom seekers

-gas station employees ponder their future in aftermath of Mobil-Exxon merger

-annoying behavior of Norman Bates' (host) mother (CHO) triggered her murder

-Pimp Chat- Bishop Don 'Mack' Donald (TRM) & Pimpin' Kyle (TIM) talk shop

-Delco Cat Toys salesmen trade macho banter & test quality of new products


December 12, 1998-Alec Baldwin

*Bill Clinton (DAH) lapses into seduction while stressing his remorse

-Morning Latte- chitchat of Tom (WIF) & Cass (CHO) gets into (host)'s personal life

-mannish 6 year-old girl (host) provokes lust in hospital clown (MOS)

-long distance cell reminder includes USA human-rights violations

-Margaret Jo (ANG) & Terry (MOS) enjoy Pete Schweddy's (host) holiday balls

-impeached Bill Clinton's (DAH) defenders assault his character at hearings

-Chanukah Hymns- album features very-unfestive Jewish holiday songs

-drunk businessmen (WIF) (host) (John Goodman) honor Bill Brasky's Wall Street knack




January 9, 1999-Bill Paxton

*Newt Gingrich (CHP) & Bob Livingston (WIF) ask "What the hell happened?"

-The View- fired Debbie Matenopoulos [real] makes a dramatic exit

-in an airport terminal, Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) serenade fellow stranded travelers

-Titanic director's cut has Brock (host) strangle old, deceptive Rose (CHO)

-Behind The Music- fall of Fat Albert (TRM) & The Junkyard Gang is chronicled

-News Force- MSNBC program is cluttered by on-screen information bumpers

-overnight-deliverymen compete for (ANG)'s business through sexy dance moves

-Fantastic Voyage- tiny scientists like hanging out in the president's penis

-Extreme Hunting- Ted Nugent (host) welcomes Prince (CHK) then shoots him


January 16, 1999-James Van Der Beek

*Bill Clinton (DAH) is honored to welcome Larry Flynt (HOS) to the Oval Office

-spelling bee emcee (WIF) tries to improvise after losing the words

-Teen Pulse- sassy musical group 7 Degrees Celsius causes girls to swoon

-Dog Show- David Larry (WIF) & Miss Colleen (MOS) supervise a canine slumber party

-laser pointers of (host) & (TRM) ruin a Harry Connick, Jr. (JIF) concert

-The War Abroad & At Home- community college fumbles a WWII documentary

-NBC executive (TIM) has created Frankenteen (host) to fill programming block

-Lou's (HOS) lovely daughter Maria (CHO) tries to seduce a TV repairman (host)


February 6, 1999-Gwyneth Paltrow

*supposed good sport Bill Clinton (DAH) gloats about beating impeachers

-E! offers awards show-style coverage of the Clinton impeachment trial

-Mary Katherine Gallagher (MOS) tries to join an all-girl Black Angels gang

-dumb girlfriend (host) ruins musician's (JIF) act but is too sexy to drop

-Staten Island Nurses- (host) & (CHO) socialize during medical drama

-(WIF)'s fiancé Margaret Healey (MOS) & her family love the jokey accents

-Biography- bitter over being dropped, Jack Perkins (DAH) bashes his replacement

-William Rehnquist (WIF) tires of partisan voting during impeachment trial

-Hardcore Rock- host endorses album of porn movie soundtrack music


February 13, 1999-Brendan Fraser

*interviewee Linda Tripp (John Goodman) is defensive towards the Lewinsky affair

-Judge Judy (CHO)- squeaky-voiced singer (host) sues over helium exposure

-(HOS) forces Ozzy tunes on diners (host) & (MOS) by insisting “just enjoy the Ozzy”

-Zimmermans (CHK) & (CHO) complicate trainer (host) during health club session

-You're A Champion, Charlie Brown (host)- Lucy's (ANG) football prank goes wrong

-Two Fat Ladies- supposedly-healthy snacks are prepared by (host) & (DAH)

-Carrie Donovan's (ANG) request to be serviced makes escort (host) nervous


February 20, 1999-Bill Murray

*The Ladies' Man- Stephanie Seymour [real] helps Leon (TIM) teach love lessons

-competitive couple (BIM) & (MOS) challenges dinner guests to Yahtzee

-(BIM) leads fellow male Knicks City Dancers in front of an unfriendly crowd

-The Quotable Caddyshack- BIM & CHC explain the reference work's utility

-Morning Latte- minor celebrity (BIM) joins Tom (WIF) & Cass (CHO) in vapid banter

-(HOS) runs wild through a party because his parents were eaten by a bear

-(BIM) spouts gibberish while trying to pose as the owner of a mystic bookshop

-Hollywood gynecologist (BIM) has casual attitude toward patients' privacy


March 13, 1999-Ray Romano

*inspired by Monica Lewinsky, Barbara Walters (CHO) tries out phone sex

-SportsCenter- Chet Harper's (host) catchphrases irritate Stuart Scott (TIM)

-restaurant patrons laugh off Roberto Benigni's (host) destructive antics

-Pimp Chat- former NYPD officer (host) discusses new career as whoremonger

-Suel Forrester (CHK) gives college basketball team a halftime pep talk

-ad man (host) plays parent during childish partner's (WIF) presentation

-GI's (host) WWII trench mates are appalled by his oddball post-war plans


March 20, 1999-Drew Barrymore

*Joan Rivers (ANG) turns demonic during Academy Awards Pre-Show coverage

-Celebrity Jeopardy!- Calista Flockhart (host), Nicholas Cage (JIF), Sean Connery (DAH) are inept

-(HOS)'s non-reply to "How are you doing?" panics Banana Republic employees

-The How Do You Say? Ah Yes, Show- Melanie Griffith (host) is obedient to Antonio Banderas (CHK)

-Dog Show- David Larry (WIF), Miss Colleen (MOS) & shemale (host) attend canine wedding

-during a sitting, Terence Maddox (WIF) recalls meeting his wife (host)


April 10, 1999-John Goodman

 *regrettably-truthful Bill Clinton (DAH) tries reverse psychology on Kosovo

-(host) brings high school antics to adult literacy class led by (TIM)

-self-proclaimed wine heir's (WIF) dreadful liquor enrages his stepfather (host)

-(host) hassles anyone who complains about his incompetent gift wrapper son (CHK)

-Hello Dolly- (host) & (ANG) prefer collectibles to real-life youngsters

-a boozy & unpleasant Santa (host) unwinds at home during the offseason

-Happy Smile Patrol- crimes of kids show actors are told by news bulletins aired during the program

-uncomfortable client (host) tolerates a brothel's computer system learning curve


May 8, 1999-Cuba Gooding Jr.

*in Bill Clinton's (DAH) dream, Monica Lewinsky [real] is his future wife

-Biblical miniseries actors (WIF) & (host) are encouraged to improvise

-Pretty Living- joyologist Helen (MOS) & boyfriend (host) are into genderology

-The Ladies' Man- Monica Lewinsky's [real] experiences produce sex advice with Leon (TIM)

-obsessed host finds that Mango (CHK) has a traditional suburban home & family

-Martha Stewart's (ANG) Mother's Day gifts hint at bitter familial ties


May 15, 1999-Sarah Michelle Gellar

*recent car wreck victims Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) perform at a high school graduation

-teens (host) (MOS) (CHO) (ANG) pander idols David Boreanaz, Seth Green & Howie D. [real]

-Zimmermans' (CHK) & (CHO) sexcapades trap couple looking to rent a cabin (CHP) & (host)

-(WIF)'s loud threats to his little leaguer son upsets parents in the stands

-Shame Attack!- (CHK) & (MOS) embarrass themselves & each other in game show

-blind girl (host), monster (HOS) & Paul Williams (WIF) in really bad movie

-Britney Spears (host) & others answer questions after the Kids Choice Awards

-Brian Fellow's (TRM) Safari Planet- supposed animal expert doesn't know much

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