October 2, 1999-Jerry Seinfeld
*Pat Buchanan (CHP) & Donald Trump (DAH) attempt to be the Reform Party candidate
-Morning Latte- Tom (WIF) & Cass (CHO) interview fruit-meat diet doctor (host)
-Mary Katherine Gallagher (MOS) falls for Jewish basketball star (host)
-trust Javis Home Security Systems to keep out freaks like intruder (WIF)
-Action 8 News Watch- anchors (host) & (ANG) deliver alarming teases
-(WIF) calls 1-800-EAT-SHIT in a futile attempt to report a bad driver
-TV executives give the ...And A Pizza Place title its own series
-thug (WIF) alternates between interrogating (host) & nursing him back to health
October 16, 1999-Heather Graham
*creation (HOS) is born from DNA of Al Gore (DAH) & George W. Bush (WIF)
-on an airplane, (host) wants husband (WIF) to emulate Zimmermans' (CHK) & (CHO) antics
-The Ladies' Man- Leon (TIM) & Rollergirl (host) review porno movies
-musicians perform at NetAid to support the end of global poverty
-Dog Show- (host) leads a seance to summon Mr. Rocky Balboa's dead mother
-Warren (CHP) & Fran (ANG) look back on three-way with their babysitter (host)
October 23, 1999-Norm MacDonald
*Rudy Giuliani (DAH) wanted higher stakes for his mayoral World Series bet
-in the wake of her successful stock, Martha Stewart (ANG) enjoys being rich
-Celebrity Jeopardy!- French Stewart (JIF), Burt Reynolds (NOM), Sean Connery (DAH) are inept
-Crosstalk- the sexiness of unhealthy thin women is debated
-bitter couple (NOM) & (CHO) argue between visits from trick-or-treaters
-newly-single Michael Jackson (TIM) drowns his sorrows to bartender (NOM)
-Inside The Actors Studio- James Lipton (WIF) irritates Clint Eastwood (NOM)
November 6, 1999-Dylan McDermott
*The Practice- Bobby (host) kisses his law partners repeatedly
-feud of Bryant Gumbel (TIM) & Katie Couric (CHO) upsets Matt Lauer (host)
-Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) do a medley at assembly honoring departing principal (host)
-Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?- game show contestant (ANG) has a meltdown
-after Mango (CHK) gets shot in the butt, cop (host) goes undercover as him
-Colette Reardon (CHO) pops pills during a visit from a telephone repairman (host)
-Lotto Pick 4 Hospital- lottery numbers are revealed during medical drama
-"Not my baby!" says Mrs. Parker (TRM) to charges that her son deals drugs
November 13, 1999-Garth Brooks
*NRA members celebrate gunman (HOS) after he shoots up their headquarters
-James Bond (CHP) informs former sex partners of his 107 venereal diseases
-Boston teens Sully (JIF) & Denise (RAD) videotape Hickory Farms job quest
-many Warner-Lambert executives are introduced at merger with American Home Products
-(host) gets advice from operator (CHO) on what to write in card for girlfriend
-host reveals that his Chris Gaines persona was a ploy to get with Mango (CHK)
-(host) will sell his soul for a hit song, but Lucifer (WIF) can't deliver
-department store employee Nadeen (CHO) tells customers to "simmah down nah"
-disastrous newscast intro sequence created by (WIF) has a kids show theme
November 20, 1999-Jennifer Aniston
*Donald Trump's (DAH) running mate is millionaire winner John Carpenter [real]
-Pretty Living- joyologist Helen (MOS) & horny self-esteem guru (Sting) annoy (host)
-Nick Burns (JIF) is critical while giving tech support to office workers
-(host) confuses co-workers by breaking the fourth wall for a genital herpes ad
-Sex & The City- Carrie (host) remembers her relationship with Mr. Peepers (CHK)
-rented street urchins (host) & (RAD) entertain a family by begging
-parents (DAH) & (host) are worried because their kid isn't into Pokémon
-Roberta (CHO) ruins a family Thanksgiving dinner she was uninvited to
December 4, 1999-Christina Ricci
*Bill Clinton (DAH) points out GOP weaknesses of presidential hopefuls
-at a holiday parade, (host) disses Craig (WIF) & steals Arianna's (CHO) boyfriend (JIF)
-And So, This Is Chanukah- star-packed special is vaguely Judaism-related
-Who Wants To Eat?- Bosnian refugee (host) seeks sustenance on game show
-Taxicab Confessions- stripper (host) distracts cabbie (TIM) with sex talk
-Goth Talk- Circe (MOS), Baron Nocturna (WIF) & (host) hold Azrael's (CHK) funeral
-Sally Jessy Raphael (ANG)- (MOS) unsuccessfully tries to tame her wild teen (host)
December 11, 1999-Danny DeVito
*Arnold Schwarzenegger (DAH) says the world will be unaffected by Y2k
-after Y2k meltdown, chef (host) is permanent guest of Margaret Jo (ANG) & Terry (MOS)
-Christmas Fairy (Michael Stipe) shows why Mango's (CHK) dad (host) berates him
-in shop class, Sully (JIF) & Denise (RAD) videotape an interview with teacher (host)
-50 year-old Sally O'Malley (MOS) tries out for the Rockettes
-in court, Mrs. Parker (TRM) & (host) show motherly love for their hoodlum sons
January 8, 2000-Jamie Foxx
*Bill (DAH) pays little attention as Hillary (ANG) Clinton moves out
-Jennifer Lopez (CHO) & armed Puff Daddy (host) seek relationship advice
-inmate (WIF) asks fellow prisoner (host) if he's still his bitch
-during a software upgrade, (host) challenges Nick Burns' (JIF) tech savvy
-It's Showtime At The Apollo!- lame acts compete for audience acclaim
-(HOS) is criticized for labeling stereotypically-black co-worker (TRM)
January 15, 2000-Freddie Prinze Jr.
*at a press conference, Elian Gonzalez (CHK) badmouths the USA
-Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?- contestant (WIF) quits after winning $100
-Boy Band Blowout 2000- (host) is the new lead singer of 7 Degrees Celsius
-ugly models (RAD) & (CHO) have high self-esteem at a bar
-irresponsible Dr. Beaman (WIF) tells (CHP) & (MOS) about their baby
-Charlie Rose (DAH)- Ricky Martin (CHK) & Enrique Iglesias (host) sing
-(host) witnesses domestic trouble of Frank (DAH) & Kathie Lee (CHO) Gifford
-(TRM) & (host) sell dried-up Christmas trees as important MLK Day icons
February 5, 2000-Alan Cumming
*presidential candidates have breakfast after the New Hampshire primary
-VH-1 depicts John Lennon (JIF) & Paul McCartney (host) as restaurant owners
-Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) perform a medley with couples workshop organizer (host)
-Dog Show- an intervention addresses Mr. Bojangles' drinking problem
-Siegfried (host) & Roy's (CHK) Night of 1000 Tigers is a wildlife benefit
-Hello Dolly- (host)'s collectible creations are a vehicle for obsessions
February 12, 2000-Julianna Margulies
*Bill (DAH) steals focus from Hillary (ANG) Clinton as she speaks to New Yorkers
-(host) learns that her boyfriend's (CHP) family feeds him mouth-to-mouth
-E! News Daily- Donatella Versace (MOS) explains her theories of fashion
-Nadeen (CHO) recommends that emergency room visitors should "simmah down nah"
-The Crocodile Hunter- Steve (CHK) & Terri (host) Irwin love angry animals
-actor (WIF) is humiliated by commercial's erectile dysfunction theme
-Savin' It- girlfriends (host) & (ANG) sexually frustrate (WIF) & (JIF)
-nerdy Kip (JIF) & Wayne (CHP) Bloater woo (host) but fail to hookup
-priceline.com satisfies William Shatner's (DAH) need to bargain
February 19, 2000-Ben Affleck
*Nightline- Peanuts characters mourn the passing of Charles Schulz
-host pretends to be Matt Damon in order to get close to Mango (CHK)
-Donny Bartolotti's (host) attentions toward Denise (RAD) make Sully (JIF) jealous
-Fretts Film Forum- small-town movie reviewers offer clever quotables
-salesman (host) is caught in Zimmermans' (CHK) & (CHO) sexy search for a used car
-Sally O'Malley (MOS) barges in on a police academy exercise training session
-Who Wants To Be Groped By An Eleven Thousand-Aire? (host) is competitive
March 11, 2000-Joshua Jackson
*Ted Koppel (DAH), Tom Brokaw (CHP) & Bernard Shaw (TIM) hate Bush vs. Gore
-Regis Philbin (DAH) interviews potential Kathie Lee Gifford replacements
-(WIF) & (HOS) ruin wedding reception by playing "Died In Your Arms"
-7 Degrees Celsius gets interviewed & presents opening act (‘N Sync)
-to frat boys' displeasure, magic wish brings butch lesbians (RAD) & (ANG)
-Let's Talk Books- experts consider works with naughty title-author combos
-Colette Reardon (CHO) shows up at her nephew's (host) school's Parents Day
-Warren's (CHP) attempt to persuade lawn boy (host) into three-way upsets Fran (ANG)
March 18, 2000-Dwayne Johnson
*Vince McMahon [real] warns wrestlers not to mess with the Rock during the show
-The Ladies' Man- Leon (TIM) is in love with crossdressed undercover cop (host)
-paleontologist (WIF) reunites Mr. Peepers (CHK) with his father (host)
-Morning Latte- Tom (WIF) & Cass (CHO) can't separate host from his in-ring persona
-Daily Planet employees mess with Superman's (host) not-so-secret identity
-Nicotrel (host) uses physical violence to help (CHP) stop smoking
-Today's Lady- empowered independent women fall for sexy (host)
April 8, 2000-Christopher Walken
*George (DAC) coaches his son George W. (WIF) Bush on how to be deceptive
-Behind The Music- (WIF)’s cowbell dominates Blue Oyster Cult recording session
-Elian, The Cuban Boy!- stage adaptation of international custody battle
-The Continental (host) gets romantic when a lady arrives to retrieve her mail
-Jenny Jones (RAD)- audience member (host) imparts wisdom to panelists
-census taker (TIM) records apartment dweller's (host) crazy responses
-Sally O'Malley (MOS) crashes the Miss Greenwood Hills Beauty Pageant
April 15, 2000-Tobey Maguire
*host reads the Studio 8H Rules to orphan castmembers
-Celebrity Jeopardy!- Sean Connery (DAH), Keanu Reeves (host), Hilary Swank (JIF) are inept
-Burger Castle employee Nadeen (CHO) tells customers to "simmah down nah"
-Inside The Actors Studio- Dustin Diamond (host) on being Screech
-Mrs. Attebury (ANG) rudely criticizes tennis pro's (host) stature
-after three years of effort, yoga student (WIF) achieves self-fellation
-store clerk (host) reveals (WIF)’s porn addiction to fiancé (ANG)
May 6, 2000-John Goodman
*Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?- Time Warner interrupts celebrity contest
-Wanna Be A VJ 3- Raymond (CHK) & Shannon (ANG) compete for a job at MTV
-co-workers tolerate office flirt Adele's (CHO) unsubtle sexual innuendo
-The Christopher Lowell (CHK) Show- chipper panelists praise decorating ideas
-Jim Morrison impersonator (HOS) waits on diners at a rock & roll restaurant
-cops (host) & (TIM) administer sobriety test to the Bloater brothers (JIF) & (CHP)
-Tek-co Mechanical Currency Masticator automates coin value through biting
May 13, 2000-Britney Spears
*Rudy Giuliani (DAH) & Hillary Clinton (ANG) on adulterous politicians
-Morning Latte- Tom (WIF) & Cass (CHO) have former Mouseketeer (host) who disses Britney Spears
-Sully (JIF) & Denise (RAD) meet butter churner (host) at a colonial history museum
-infatuated host is serenaded by Woodrow (TRM) at his place in the sewer
-dance moves of Kyle DeMarco (CHK) & brother Sean (CHP) reflect host's lyrics
-on-stage, band of abusive diva Deandra Wells (ANG) reaches breaking point
May 20, 2000-Jackie Chan
*The Ladies’ Man- Leon (TIM) choses between skanks (Sarah Michelle Gellar), (Gina Gershon) &
Florence Henderson [real]
-Nick Burns (JIF) & fellow nerd (host) make fun of office workers' tech problems
-Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) do a medieval-themed medley at the school Renaissance Fair
-(MOS) & (host) get involved in Zimmermans' (CHK) & (CHO) erotic miniature golf game
-Asian Elvis impersonator (host) has to win over a skeptical Las Vegas crowd
-Pretty Living- joyologist Helen's (MOS) new boyfriend (host) teaches GymNasty
-at the Earth's center, expert hole diggers form an international brotherhood
No comments:
Post a Comment