September 30, 2006-Dane Cook
*unpopular George W. Bush (WLF) is sidelined at a minor GOP campaign event
-(host) & (JAS) instruct airport security workers regarding liquids & gels
-Hugo Chavez's (FRA) Political Roundup- heads of state bash USA & its leader
-operator (KRW) helps neurotic Al Pacino (BIH) check his bank balance
-empty bottles disprove claims of thirsty water deliverymen (host) & (WLF)
-jerks (host) & (JAS) forcibly eject patrons from a bar at closing time
-Geico customer's (ANS) tale is amplified by wreck Whitney Houston (MAR)
October 7, 2006-Jaime Pressly
*Dennis Hastert (DAH) discusses Mark Foley's deep interest in the page program
-Nancy Grace (AMP)- interviewees (ANS), (host) & (KET) deny accusations
-record executive (host) hears antonym-based lyrics of Jon Bovi (JAS) & (WLF)
-TV reporter Michelle Dison (KRW) awkwardly hits on interviewee (host)
-brash Virginiaca (KET) supports her troubled step-daughter (host)
-Nascarettes (host) (FRA) (KRW) (AMP) (MAR) dance on the racetrack
-ceiling fan cuts down corporate consulting of Big Wigs (host) & (AMP)
-vile Kuato (ANS) in (BIH)'s stomach creeps out fellow partygoers
-flaky & careless (host) & (KRW) sip hot cider on a pleasant fall evening
October 21, 2006-John C. Reilly
*George W. Bush (WLF) acknowledges Iraq failures but remains optimistic
-Colonial Williamsburg role accuracy is a pretense for (host)'s racism
-(WLF) learns strokes while strapped to unusual swim instructor (host)
-Kim Jong Il (AMP) displays nukes & asks North Koreans to sacrifice
-personal trainer (host) doesn't know what to make of careless A-holes (JAS) & (KRW)
-(host) gorges on Mexican food while longing for her ex-boyfriend (FRA)
-House Of Carters- brothers Nick (JAS) & Aaron (ANS) argue & make up
-scientists (host) & (MAR) sing to mourn the end of Operation Bearshark
October 28, 2006-Hugh Laurie
*Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) promotes Kazakhstan during a paid announcement
-Most Haunted- (host)'s flatulence is mistaken for sign of paranormal activity
-at the World Series, (MAR) renders the National Anthem nearly unrecognizable
-attendant (host) requests oddities to (KRW) for Queen Elizabeth's hotel stay
-Hardball- Ken Mehlman (ANS) & Howard Dean (JAS) foresee GOP midterm defeat
-broken leg sufferer's (KET) distrust of doctor (WLF) hampers treatment
-sarcastic Frankenstein (BIH) hides his identity from confused villagers
-(host) & (FRA) squeal "Ooh!" while interviewing (AMP) for a law firm job
November 11, 2006-Alec Baldwin
*Nancy Pelosi's (KRW) platform confirms the worst fears about Democrat control
-Britney Spears' (AMP) accusations justify her divorce from Kevin Federline
-convicted Saddam Hussein (host) meets with his lawyers (BIH) & (FRA)
-unlikely conversation missteps between (host) & (KRW) make for awkward carpool
-Steve Martin [real] sabotages host's 13th SNL gig in the Platinum Lounge
-The Tony Bennett (host) Show- tribute act (Tony Bennett) helps with duet
-in a Brazil lounge, tacky suave (host) fails to charm the ladies
November 18, 2006-Ludacris
*George W. Bush (JAS) has literally gotten the USA into another Vietnam War
-classic songs get rap additions on hype man Young Douglas' (host) album
-Dr. Bitchslap's (host) marriage advice infomercial prescribes face swats
-The O'Reilly (DAH) Factor- potential boycott of Def Jam is a hollow threat
-at a recording session, host enjoys Blizzard Man's (ANS) dorky raps
-Pool Watch- urban lifeguard (host) isn't ready to get in the water
-shady plastic surgeon (host) schemes to steal (WLF)'s Elton John hair
-captain (host) hopes a lesbian cruise will become his porno fantasy
-in a diner, old guys (DAH) & (host) question the worth of innovation
December 2, 2006-Matthew Fox
*Prime Minister al-Maliki (FRA) implies that Iraq is even worse than it seems
-Nancy Grace (AMP)- (KET) & (host) refuse to play the victim
-Deep House Dish- DJ Dynasty Handbag (KET) enjoys (MAR), (host) & (AMP)
-obsessive Lost fans approach host in an elevator with queries and theories
-AMP, KRW & MAR alter a pioneer mountain man sketch to make host kiss them
-home from college, math whiz (ANS) comes out to his history buff father (WLF)
-dramatized theory blames chocolate for the downfall of Mayan civilization
December 9, 2006-Annette Bening
*George W. Bush (JAS) addresses suggestions from an Iraq Study Group & others
-Good Morning, I Hate This Town- presenters (JAS) & (host) despise their city
-high school teacher's (host) romantic desire for student (ANS) is unrequited
-indifferent A-holes (JAS) & (KRW) unconvincingly portray Joseph & Mary in a nativity scene
-Buyer Beware- paranoid consumer advocates (KET) & (MAR) are cautious to scams
-girl's (AMP) monster under the bed claim panics her parents (WLF) & (host)
-uptight co-workers Neil (WLF), Jean (KRW) & (host) inch toward threesome
-lawyers (host) & (BIH) specialize in old lady to cat inheritance cases
December 16, 2006-Justin Timberlake
*St. Nicholas-lovestruck AMP, KRW & MAR sing "Santa's My Boyfriend"
-singing & dancing mascot (host) & Salvation Army Santa (WLF) compete for change
-Target lady (KRW) & stock boy (host) frustrate holiday shoppers at checkout
-The Barry Gibb (JIF) Talk Show- Jimmy Carter (DAH) & others discuss Iraq
-Dry Eyes- game show contestants (host) & (FRA) try to avoid crying
-Hip Hop Kids- beats & dance moves harm chances of escaping a mineshaft
-(host)'s stepmom Virginiaca (KET) tries helping her audition to be a Macy's elf
January 13, 2007-Jake Gyllenhaal
*George W. Bush's (JAS) troop surge will send just about everybody to Iraq
-Deep House Dish- (KRW), (MAR), (host) & (AMP) perform for charity
-Bronx Beat- shifty New Yorkers Betty (AMP) & Jodi (MAR) flatter (host)
-Donald Trump (DAH) insults Rosie O'Donnell at supposed Apprentice press conference
-(host) & (KRW) see anthropomorphic meat at the coolest restaurant in town
-Stock Footage Awards- standard broadcast news b-roll is celebrated
-(host) learns from acting guru (AMP) who specializes in Law & Order roles
-(host) & (MAR) play matchmakers to wheelchair-bound (JAS) & (KRW)
-lawyers Kaplan (FRA), Liebowitz (host) & Dolemite (KET) will represent you
January 20, 2007-Jeremy Piven
*Hardball- Obama-fearing Hillary Clinton (AMP) backtracks her stance on Iraq
-ill boy Danny Hoover's (ANS) catchphrase annoys NFL broadcasters in booth
-caveman (JAS) is The First Person In The History Of The World To Dance
-at an adoption agency, (host) considers A-holes (JAS) & (KRW) unworthy of becoming parents
-Common [real] doesn't want to share the stage with dweeby Blizzard Man (ANS)
-town hall meeting debates over building shopping mall on Unicorn Forest site
-hangmen-at-law Lansford Brothers (WLF) & (BIH) won't botch an execution
February 3, 2007-Drew Barrymore
*American Idol- judges criticize animals for their poor performances
-The Dakota Fanning (AMP) Show- the child actress is mature beyond her years
-therapist (KRW) advises (WLF) & the wife (host) who poisons him
-Target lady (KRW) teaches trainee (host) how to inspect items at the checkout
-hyper job applicant (host) continues to embarrass herself after the interview
-Elton John (HOS) attends Donatella Versace's (MAR) Super Bowl Party
-at a country club, valet (AMP) tries to woo out-of-his-league divorcee (host)
-pyrokinetic Charlie McGee (host) sells Firestarter-brand smoked sausages
-in a bar, Peter O'Toole (BIH) & host eulogize drinking's glory days
February 10, 2007-Forest Whitaker
*Dick (DAH) & Lynne (KRW) Cheney read unlovely Valentine's Day cards
-Bronx Beat- Betty (AMP) & Jodi (MAR) think doctors (host) & (KRW) are in love
-waiter (host) continuously sings "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" to patrons
-Man Versus Beast- a mountain lion advances to the final four by mauling (JAS)
-Tommy Brown (host) joins Whitney Houston's (MAR) Valentine's Day Special
-Am I A Crazy Street Person?- (host) & (KRW) carry differing opinions on topic guests
February 24, 2007-Rainn Wilson
*The Situation Room- Anna Nicole Smith coverage overshadows hard news
-"Danny's Song" evokes icky memories in reminiscers (host) (BIH) (WLF) (JAS)
-(host) & (KRW) interview Noony (FRA) & Nuni (MAR) for Architectural Digest profile
-peeper (host) imposes his peering mind-set upon a police lineup
-Neil (WLF) & Jean (KRW) welcome new fellow uptight co-worker Oliver (host)
-White Possum Scream- (KET) chains (host) in Black Snake Moan knockoff
-New Age musicians (FRA) (MAR) (host) (KET) (KRW) bicker in the studio
March 17, 2007-Julia Louis-Dreyfus
*CSR compares Barack Obama vs. Hillary Clinton to black men vs. white women
-Oprah (MAR)- (JLD) is a disciple of Rhonda Byrne's (AMP) book The Secret
-(JLD)'s husband (JAS) blames Restless Penis Syndrome for his infidelity
-La Rivista Della Televisione- Vinny Vedecci's (BIH) dialect hinders monolingual JLD
-Deep House Dish- (MAR), (AMP), (KRW), (JLD) & (JAS) perform their hits
-unprofessional boom mic operator Jeff (JAS) bothers JLD during PSA taping
-lottery winners' (JAS) & (JLD) robots (WLF) & (FRA) have sex & break down
-mildly talented (KRW), (MAR) & (AMP) want to be the next Pussycat Doll
March 24, 2007-Peyton Manning
*Alberto Gonzalez (FRA) is uneasy despite having George W. Bush's (JAS) support
-Bronx Beat- Betty (AMP) & Jodi (MAR) are impressed by the size of zookeeper (host)
-lucky (AMP)'s girly rationales produced a perfect NCAA basketball bracket
-at a party, Penelope (KRW) compulsively one-ups guests' small talk
-the "Casino Royale Theme" inspires dancing basketball coach (WLF)
-while filming 300, (host) fails to smash boulder onto fellow actor (FRA)
-flaky & careless (host) & (KRW) sip coffee on a pleasant spring evening
April 14, 2007-Shia LaBeouf
*Jesse Jackson (DAH) & Al Sharpton (KET) offer racist rehab for Don Imus
-Prince (FRA) Show- Tobey Maguire (host) & Nancy Grace (AMP) drop by
-underage (host), (ANS) & (BIH) stage elaborate ruses to buy beer
-The Dakota Fanning (AMP) Show- sister Elle (Avril Lavigne) is a rival
-Mattress proprietors say their new enterprise is Sofa King great
-salesman (WLF) cuts off his thumb in attempt to sell (KRW) a knife
April 21, 2007-Sacrlett Johansson
*shifty George W. Bush (JAS) takes questions from reporters at a press conference
-Live With Regis (DAH) & Kelly (AMP)- Ivanka Trump (host) plugs away
-Virginiaca (KET) helps her stepdaughter (host) shop for a skanky prom dress
-Mike’s (FRA) Chandelier Galaxy has Lexi (host) hype classiness of marble columns
-Michelle Dison's (KRW) lesbian feelings resurface during interview with (host)
-(BIH) & (MAR)’s male (ANS) & female (host) Kuatos gross out dinner guests
-News Makers- Jane Pauley (KRW) interviews stars of viral online videos
May 12, 2007-Molly Shannon
*Mary Katherine Gallagher (MOS) crashes American Idol & sings "Brass In Pocket"
-Penelope's (KRW) competitive behavior alienates her neighbors at tenant meeting
-Dan Rather (DAH) moderates a debate of radical presidential candidates
-The Sopranos- Sally O'Malley (MOS) auditions for dancer job at Bada Bing! Club
-Kaitlin's (AMP) equally-hyper mom (MOS) misses performance at an old-folks home
-Charli Coffee (MAR) shares the stage with fellow boozehound Toni Carlisle (MOS)
-Donald (DAH) & Melania (MOS) Trump pitch co-branded Sharper Image steaks
May 19, 2007-Zach Braff
*George W. Bush (JAS) peculiarly feels vindicated by Iraq failures
-popular (MAR) & (AMP) reject prom theme ideas of fellow high school students
-Deep House Dish- (MAR), (host), (AMP) & (WLF) perform quirky jams
-"The Weight" evokes creepy memories in reminiscers (host) (BIH) (WLF) (JAS)
-La Rivista Della Televisione- host & Vinny Vedecci (BIH) fight language barriers
-Bronx Beat- unpaid production intern (host) fills in for a no-show
-homely receptionist Melissa (FRA) displays her infatuation with host
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