September 29, 2007-LeBron James
*patronizing presumed president Hillary Clinton's (AMP) future is perfect
-Penelope's (KRW) self-exaggerations disrupt host's role as charity auction item
-High School Musical 3- host & Zac Efron (ANS) portray rival basketballers
-unprofessional basketball-passer Jeff (JAS) irritates host during PSA taping
-The Lyle Kane Show- dweebs (WLF), (BIH) & (host) are out of place
-DVD highlights Solid Gold Dancers (MAR), (KRW), (AMP), (WLF) & (host)
-106 & Park- failure to win awards causes Kanye West [real] to react poorly
-Great Moments In Guidance Counseling- (JAS) steers host away from college
October 6, 2007-Seth Rogen
*Kevin Federline (ANS) tells what he knows about being a good parent
-National Douchebag Championships- finalists (BIH), (host) & (WLF) offend
-lanky Jeremy (host) & Stacia (KRW) are cute to only parents (BIH) & (AMP)
-America's First Colonists- (host)'s settlement revolved around marijuana
-Mad Joe Dixon (host) & Delilah (MAR) reveal personal indulgences
October 13, 2007-Jon Bon Jovi
*21 years ago in teenage AMP's bedroom, host advises her about the future
-Ohhh!- game show provokes New Jerseyites' (FRA) (host) (DAH) outbursts
-La Rivista Della Televisione- cultural misunderstandings of Vinny Vedecci (BIH) baffle host
-during an alien attack, spaceship captain (KRW) is distracted by her lost purse
-in 1984, host's new band Bon Jovi is skeptical of his self-naming idea
-Iconoclasts- Bjork (KRW) & Charles Barkley (KET) visit Cheesecake Factory
November 3, 2007-Brian Williams
*Barack Obama [real] attends Bill (DAH) & Hillary (AMP) Clinton's Halloween party
-Bronx Beat- fireman (host) gives home safety preparedness suggestions
-TV actor (host) reacts poorly to the news he won't be in spin-off series
-sweepstakes winner's (host) subdued reaction baffles cheery Cheryl (KRW)
-Larry King (FRA) Live- Harry Potter outtakes depict gay Dumbledore (BIH)
-The Democratic Party plans to stop leading-in-the-polls Hillary Clinton
-host rejects new wave news theme ideas in favor of his own 007-style concept
February 23, 2008-Tina Fey
*media favorite Barack Obama (FRA) surpasses Hillary Clinton (AMP) during debate
-Rock Of Love 2- Bret Michaels (JAS) doesn't choose one-legged Amber (AMP)
-What's That Bitch Talking About?- (TIF) calls out females on a game show
-Celebrity Apprentice- Donald Trump (DAH) fires minor stars in new season
-Ed Mahoney's (JAS) casual chattiness upsets newlyweds' (WLF) & (TIF) reception
-I Drink Your Milkshake- Daniel Plainview (BIH) in pursuit of malted beverages
-Lady Business- yet another TV show features determined career women
March 1, 2008-Elliot Page
*Hillary Clinton (AMP) & Barack Obama (FRA) in panel debate responded by Hillary Clinton [real]
-The Dakota Fanning (AMP) Show- Miley Cyrus (host) acts her age
-The College For Excellence- (FRA) will teach you generic business phrases
-Henry VIII (JAS) picks between Anne (host) & the homely other Boleyn Girls
-Virginiaca (KET) & her stepdaughter (host) are stumped by Baby Gap assistance
-Captain Hook (BIH) can't get his pirates to shoot Peter Pan (host)
-(host) is feeling gay following a groundbreaking Melissa Etheridge concert
March 8, 2008-Amy Adams
*attack ad depicts Hillary Clinton (AMP) giving clueless president Obama advice
-Mirror Image- identical twin teens' (host) & (KRW) identity trick unravels
-(WLF) is oblivious to the desire of his citizenship-seeking wife (AMP)
-Fierce, The Hot Mess Make-Over Show- catchphrases dominate Bravo reality show
-at traffic school, Penelope (KRW) annoys everyone with her excessive boasts
-Dr. Uncle Jimmy (WLF) mixes smokehouse with an outpatient surgical facility
-Roger Clemens' (JAS) play depicts the nightmare of steroids-free baseball
-25 years after its cable access run, Tookie Styles' (KET) show is on DVD
-(AMP), (host), (CAW) & (KRW) repurpose their old dance routine in a bar
March 15, 2008-Jonah Hill
*in private practice, Eliot Spitzer (BIH) will handle sex-related cases
-What's Your Situation?- emcee (host) acts like the game show is a singles bar
-precocious 6 year-old Adam (host) acts like a Jewish standup at Benihana
-The Suze Orman (KRW) Show- financial questions receive thrifty responses
-Target lady (KRW) advises dumb fellow employee (host) on how to woo co-worker
-Brian Williams (WLF) presents evidence proving that John McCain (DAH) is old
-(WLF) & (KRW) sing about spaceships, toddlers, Model T cars & jars of beer
-upon meeting in real life, (CAW) finds that (host) is an online liar
April 5, 2008-Christopher Walken
*media revelation of their wealth bothers Bill (DAH) & Hillary (AMP) Clinton
-teacher (host) unreasonably abbreviates a high school production of Grease
-on his last day, (JAS) learns that workplace acquaintance (host) is a stalker
-Sue (KRW) can't contain her excitement over an upcoming surprise party
-at the Walken family reunion, host greets kin with similar vocal patterns
-floraphobic (host) puts himself at ease by adding googly eyes to plants
-Top Chef- (host) can't cope with time constraints & limited ingredients
-Larry King (FRA) Live- Jimmy Carter (DAH) admits nobody reads his books
April 12, 2008-Ashton Kutcher
*presidential candidates ask General Petraeus (WLF) self-serving questions
-The Cougar Den- (AMP), (KRW), (CAW) & (Cameron Diaz) prefer younger men
-denied nightclub entry, host waits by the door with oddball Oliver (FRA)
-Jamie Lee Curtis (KRW) overeats Activia yogurt during a commercial shoot
-"Amie" evokes horrible recollections in reminiscers (host) (BIH) (WLF) (JAS)
-The Mellow Show- Jack Johnson (ANS) & John Mayer (host) keep it mellow
-with (host)'s help, paralyzed stripper Dusty Velvet (CAW) does her act
May 10, 2008-Shia LaBeouf
*Hillary Clinton (AMP) prides on being an unethical racist-supported sore loser
-It's A Match- murder investigation follows 1970s game show format
-inmate Lorenzo McIntosh (KET) can't scare teens straight with movie plots
-The Suze Orman (KRW) Show- (host) gets economic stimulus check advice
-La Rivista Della Televisione- Vinny Vedecci's (BIH) talk with host goes wrong
-in a restaurant, (KRW) & (AMP) are thrilled by guys' uncomfortable stares
-Georgian (AMP) seeks funky New York styles for daughters (KRW) & (host)
May 17, 2008-Steve Carell
*at a commencement assembly, (host) reads graduates' naughty-sounding names
-Deal Or No Deal- picky dad (WLF) criticizes an irritated contestant (host)
-on stage, uncooperative A-holes (JAS) & (KRW) frustrate karaoke emcee (host)
-John McCain [real] hypes his oldness & dislike of pork barrel spending
-The Charlie Flitt (host) Show- weight losers cut fat & lifesize photos
-(host) busts through (ANS)'s chest while conducting a CPR training course
-rough-housing parents-to-be (host) & (KRW) serenade a stand-in baby doll
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