September 24, 2011-Alec Baldwin
*Mitt Romney (JAS) & Rick Perry (host) get top billing at GOP debate
-melodramatic crew members reveal secrets atAll My Children wrap party
-satellite issues delay warning TV reporter (KRW) of rain forest animals
-Who's On Top?- game show contestants consider hypothetical gay male couplings
-child psychologist's (host) daughter (NAP) tests (VAB)'s will during a date
-(TAK) accepts mortally-wounded soldiers' final message delivery requests
October 1, 2011-Melissa McCarthy
*The Lawrence Welk (FRA) Show- Dooneese (KRW) & muscular sister (host) repulse (TAK)
-(host) generates no sparks during sexual harassment of co-worker (JAS)
-The Comments Section- pathetic online loudmouths lose their privacy
-overeager (host) disrupts focus group for Hidden Valley Ranch salad dressing
-The Essentials- stair-related injuries crippled Mae West knockoff (host)
-ex-lovers disprove pickup artist's (ANS) claim of satisfying intercourse
October 8, 2011-Ben Stiller
*GOP fundraisers wish Chris Christie (BOM) would avoid Mitt Romney (JAS)
-Fox & Friends- Hank Williams, Jr. (JAS) won't apologize for Obama remarks
-The Best Of Both Worlds- manly Daniel Radcliffe (Hugh Jackman) is musical
-at a Halloween party, sexy & foul Shana (KRW) mixes her co-workers' emotions
-Just The Stories- DVDs have Bruce Springsteen's (BES) between-song tales
October 15, 2011-Anna Faris
*one-percenter Michael Bloomberg (FRA) avoids Occupy Wall Street protesters
-The Manuel Ortiz (FRA) Show- Latin beats defuse intimacy sting operation
-What's Wrong With Tanya?!- game show tests Lifetime Original Movie moms
-debating GOP presidential hopefuls are realistically cynical about t future
-(VAB)'s friends encourage lying while dating with "Tell Him" variation
-J-Pop America Fun Time Now!- Midwestern weebs (TAK) & (VAB) love Japan
-cavalier dandy Cecil (PAB) meets his girlfriend's (host) family
-(KRW) & (host) lust over decent-looking Ferrari calendar models
November 5, 2011-Charlie Day
*the ghost of Moammar Gaddafi (FRA) says his final farewells from Hell
-The Dr. Oz (BIH) Show- (host)'s dead rectum isn't treated carefully
-on Mt. Olympus, Zeus (JAS) & other Greek gods avoid blame for economic troubles
-Getting Freaky- Cee Lo Green (KET) helps (ANS) & (ABE) spice up their marriage
-on a movie set, actor (host) has trouble a doing scene with a dolphin
-(host) denies ignorance while investigating a murder in Seinfeld apartment
November 12, 2011-Emma Stone
*during a GOP debate, fellow candidates pity forgetful Rick Perry (BIH)
-Secret Word- oblivious Mindy Grayson (KRW) & Miss America (host) are worthless
-journalistic fossil Herb Welch (BIH) flubs report on falling ice story
-Les Jeunes De Paris- teens dance & get married to "A Cause Des Garcons"
-(host)'s raunchy gifts are inappropriate for (KRW)'s bridal shower
-depressed (NAP) & co-workers cry together listening to "Someone Like You"
November 19, 2011-Jason Segel
*even the "raw & unleashed" Mitt Romney (JAS) is stiff & uncontroversial
-Kelly Ripa (NAP) auditions potential replacements for Regis Philbin
-(host) joins his brother Austin Vogelcheck (Paul Rudd) & family for Thanksgiving
-at (FRA)'s retirement party, (host) hints at a big secret to be revealed
-A New Jack Thanksgiving- obscure artists mix hip-hop with rhythm & blues
-in an ice cream parlor, Andre The Giant (host) chooses a flavor
-(FRA)’s local band charms townsfolk with rendition of "Massachusetts Afternoon"
December 3, 2011-Steve Buscemi
*Barack Obama (FRA) is number 11 on his list of America's Most Powerful
-The Miley Cyrus (VAB) Show- Whitney Houston (MAR) is cautionary drug tale
-Dateline NBC- Keith Morrison (BIH) is aroused by murderer's (host) deeds
-investigation clears creepy Coach Bert (host) of pedophilia suspicions
-co-worker's (VAB) pending promotion delights surprise-loving Sue (KRW)
-(host) unpacks & comments on Christmas ornaments for Sheila (KRW) to hang
December 10, 2011-Katy Perry
*Donald Trump (DAH) attaches superlatives to his GOP debate duty
-J-Pop America Fun Time Now!- (host) is head of Hello Kitty appreciation club
-Kalle- host appears on (KRW)’s Finnish talk show featuring extensive clips
-Doggie Duty- celebrity soundtrack sidelines the canine courtroom movie
-Queen Elizabeth (FRA) & Prince Phillip (BIH) want Kate Middleton (ABE) pregnant
-Politics Nation- Al Sharpton (KET) butchers words toward the wrong camera
-at a piano bar, lonely (host) & (BOM) form a meaningful connection
December 17, 2011-Jimmy Fallon
*Sully (JIF) & Denise (RAD) see friend (AMP) while crashing a high school formal
-Today- Regis Philbin (JIF) walks on set to join Kathie Lee Gifford (KRW)
-at a 1928 party, (JIF) is as reluctant to dance as Lilia (KRW) is to sing
-Beethoven (JIF) introduces orchestra members at Ninth Symphony premiere
-low-budget War Horse (JIF) production confuses theatergoers (BIH) & (KRW)
-Jesus (JAS) accepts Tim Tebow's (TAK) credit for the Broncos' winning streak
January 7, 2012-Charles Barkley
*Rick Santorum (ANS) vows to bravely campaign in every county in the USA
-Inside The NBA- Charles Barkley (KET) & Shaquille O'Neal (host) goof off
-White People Problems- host shakes his head at complaining Caucasians
-(host)'s fiancé (PAB) & some friends find it hard to believe she's a lesbian
-Cecil's (PAB) girlfriend's father (JAS) prefers impish frolics over football game
-In Memoriam reel at the Adult Video Awards honors deceased porn stars
-Mayan chief (host) has issues with work of calendar makers (FRA) & (BIH)
January 14, 2012-Daniel Radcliffe
*one-percenter Mitt Romney (JAS) can't avoid the unemployment metaphors
-Target manager (BIH) likes Target stock boy (host) who likes Target lady (KRW)
-You Can Do Anything!- uncriticized Millennials show overestimated abilities
-Delaware Fellas- Jersey Boys knockoff is rooted in the Blue Hen State
-at Hogwarts in 2020, Harry Potter (host) can't let go of his glory days
-in 2112, theatergoers laugh at a dramatization of 21st-century ignorance
-The Jay Pharoah Show- JAP leans on impressions during interview with host
-(KRW)'s exit poll for New Hampshire voter (host) extends beyond politics
February 4, 2012-Channing Tatum
*in 2014, triumphant Moon President Newt Gingrich (BOM) watches Earth explode
-Getting Freaky- Matthew McConaughey (host) & Colonel Nasty (BIH) give advice
-NBC's Super Bowl coverage team delivers peculiar slogans during promo shoot
-Secret Word- Mindy Grayson (KRW) & probed astronaut (host) are incompetent
-22 year-old neighbor (host) dances dirty with (NAP) at her bat mitzvah
-stocky Janet (BOM) hits on Tom Brady (host) the night before the Super Bowl
-retiring strip club deejay Tommy (JAS) introduces unsexy male dancers
February 11, 2012-Zooey Deschanel
*Mitt Romney (JAS) puts a positive spin on his GOP primary losses
-Piers Morgan (TAK) Live- the Super Bowl halftime show brought responses
-Les Jeunes de Paris- The Artist (Jean Dujardin) dances monochromatically
-new reporter (host) can't keep up with Front Page patter of (JAS) & (KRW)
-Bein' Quirky- Zooey Deschanel (ABE) & Mary-Kate Olsen (host) act kooky
-(KRW) & (host) hype their serving of crab legs at a backyard cookout
-Victorian pen pal spinsters (KRW) & (host) will settle for doofuses
February 18, 2012-Maya Rudolph
*New York Sports Now- Asian stereotype puns inspired by Jeremy Lin are OK
-Bronx Beat- crewmembers (ANS) & (Justin Timberlake) respond to flirting
-Prince (FRA) & other celebrities visit new parents Jay-Z (JAP) & Beyonce (MAR)
-What Up With That?- Bill O'Reilly & Kate Upton [real] for Presidents' Day singing & dancing of (KET)
-Super Showcase- game show models (KRW) & (MAR) present prizes not won
-The Obama Show- Barack (FRA) & Michelle (MAR) copy Cosby to fight obesity
-How's He Doing?- black voters will unconditionally support Barack Obama
March 3, 2012-Lindsay Lohan
*Fox Report- Shepard Smith (BIH) checks in with Mitt Romney (JAS) & his sons
-In Memoriam reel at the Psychic Awards honors not-yet-deceased clairvoyants
-Lorenzo McIntosh (KET) & host present teens with unpleasant prison scenarios
-in a movie, delinquent girl (FRA) dances in the street & gets hit by cars
-morning deejays Richard (TAK) & Buffalo (BOM) cover pathos with enthusiasm
-the mysterious phone calls terrorizing (KRW) are coming from her butt dials
-Rude Buddha (ANS) insults & harasses his disciples behind their backs
March 10, 2012-Jonah Hill
*The Rush Limbaugh (TAK) Show- minor backers replace deserting sponsors
-back at Benihana, 6 year-old Adam (host) teases his dad's (BIH) girlfriend (VAB)
-J-Pop America Fun Time Now!- samurai-wannabe (host) has bad swordsmanship
-(host) is exposed as a racist zoophile by the ape he taught to speak (FRA)
-on Cats' opening night, Liza Minnelli (KRW) tries to turn off a lamp
-(host)'s anniversary surprise for (KRW) turns into "C U When U Get There"
April 7, 2012-Sofia Vergara
*Mitt Romney's (JAS) pandering fails to influence special interest audiences
-Bein' Quirky- Zooey Deschanel (ABE) & Fran Drescher (host) are eccentric
-moronic (FRA) can't execute a simple turn during TV news team promo shoot
-Gilly (KRW) antagonizes sex ed teacher (host) & foresees her own demise
-The Manuel Ortiz (FRA) Show- Latin rhythm engulfs (host)'s family reunion
-Watch What Happens Live- Andy Cohen (TAK) chats with Desmond Tutu (KET)
-Penelope Cruz (Kate McKinnon) is given tricky words in Pantene commercial with host
-reporter (host) interferes with Hunger Games tributes on the battlefield
April 14, 2012-Josh Brolin
*in a bar, Mitt Romney (JAS) says "Good Riddance" to defeated GOP foes
-The Californians- Angeleno soap opera drama centers on driving directions
-Jay-Z (JAP) selects America's Next Top Empire State Of Mind Parody Artist
-Piers Morgan (TAK) Live- Ice-T (FRA) & Ozzie Guillen (host) speak out
-in one hallway of a high school, everything happens in slow motion
-Principal Frye (JAP) addresses students at the high school prom
May 5, 2012-Eli Manning
*Fox & Friends- Obama is criticized while Rupert Murdoch (FRA) is defended
-host tries out victory moves during Madden NFL motion capture session
-embarrassing flirty texts vindicate defendant (host) in his murder trial
-ancient Herb Welch (BIH) holds nothing back with Occupy Wall Street protesters
-What Is This?- game show emcee (ABE) quizzes (host) on their relationship
-Helga Lately- Swedish version of Chelsea Handler (Kate McKinnon) is a boozy broad
-tall queen (host) is upset about not winning Miss Drag World 2012 title
-The Essentials- square (host) didn't mesh with Cheech (FRA) & Chong (BIH)
May 12, 2012-Will Ferrell
*moody Joe Biden (JAS) sulks with his buddy George W. Bush (WIF)
-Marty (WIF) & Bobbi (ANG) perform a sexual medley at an LGBT prom
-Pete Twinkle (JAS) & Greg Stink (WLF) cover female golfers during O.J. Simpson chase
-2012 Funkytown Debate- groovy mayoral candidates (KET) & (WIF) face off
-Broadway Sizzle- (BIH) & (KRW) hold musical auditions on cable access
-(JAS) deals with unwanted toasters at a 25th wedding anniversary party
May 19, 2012-Mick Jagger
*The Lawrence Welk (FRA) Show- Dooneese (KRW) pursues Italian singer (Jon Hamm)
-Secret Word- Mindy Grayson (KRW) & gay tough-guy actor (host) blab the answers
-karaoke Mick Jagger imitations impress everyone at the bar except (host)
-Politics Nation- Al Sharpton (KET) muddles coverage of economic issues
-grungies groove on So You Think You Can Dance At An Outdoor Music Festival
-The Californians- long-lost father (host) & amnesiac (Steve Martin) slur
No comments:
Post a Comment