September 15, 2012-Seth MacFarlane
*campaigning Barack Obama (JAP) lets Mitt Romney (JAS) defeat himself
-Sex After 50- Roger Brush (FRA) doesn't want to hear about seniors' sex lives
-on-demand "Gangnam Style" performances energize a LIDS store
-troubled veteran Anthony Peter Coleman (BIH) darkens playful puppetry class
-army privates deal with drill sergeant's (host) speech impediment
-Steve Harvey (KET) gives (host) a makeover resembling his own image
-on a blind date, (host) & (NAP) vocalize their emotions with funny voices
-Amish (host) & (TIR) spell out the URL of their wooden spoon company
September 22, 2012-Joseph Gordon-Levitt
*Live With Kelly (NAP) & Michael (JAP)- Robert Pattinson (BIH) is moody
-detective (BIH) offers caricatures as proof of (host)'s wife's affair
-hammy audience member (TAK) pretends to have been hypnotized by (host)
-"You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" stirs reminiscers (host) (BIH) (KET) (JAS)
-The Finer Things- fashionistas (KET) & (JAP) represent hip-hop going soft
-(FRA) & (KAM) musically present flawed daughter (host) to suitor (TIR)
-butts & wieners are appearing on ads of married realtors (TIR) & (NAP)
October 6, 2012-Daniel Craig
*Barack Obama (JAP) loses focus during first debate with Mitt Romney (JAS)
-unlike the other construction workers, (host) isn't very good at catcalls
-Rachel Maddow (CES) & MSNBC experts assess Obama's weak debate performance
-Mars-bound, baby-talking Kirby (BOM) goes on about missing his kitty cat
-A Sorry Lot We Are- sad sack working-class Brits console at the pub
-at a dinner party, (host)'s girlfriend Regine (FRA) is physical & smug
October 13, 2012-Christina Applegate
*Paul Ryan (TAK) & vice president Joe Biden (JAS) debate
-The Californians- Stuart (FRA) maps out his upcoming marriage to (host)
-Tech Talk- Chinese workers' despairs surpass first-world problems of iPhone 5
-Sirens (host) (CES) (KAM) tempt Odysseus (JAS) with hits from the 1990s
-Principal Frye (JAP) scolds rowdy students at literacy-themed Halloween ball
-dance instructor (host) aspires to implant students with Bob Fosse passion
October 20, 2012-Bruno Mars
*undecided voters question debating Barack Obama (JAP) & Mitt Romney (JAS)
-Haters- twerking (BOM) & daughter (host) accuse audience of jealousy
-intern (host) provides vocals after power outage at Pandora headquarters
-Merryville animatrons (host) (TAK) (BIH) spook a haunted house ride
-at Yeti Point, (JAS) & (VAB) doubt (BIH) that was molested by a yeti
November 3, 2012-Louis C.K.
*sign-language interpreters (CES) & (NAP) exaggerate Hurricane Sandy relief messages
-Fox & Friends- FEMA official (host) tries to disprove bad disaster advice
-Australian Screen Legends- down-under accents undercut dramatic scenes
-while on a Middle Ages quest, (host) annoys locals with his horn blowing
-at the end of (BOM)'s hotel stay, (host) reviews items charged to the bill
-desperate (host) & Sheila Sovage (KAM) rush toward a last-call hook-up
November 10, 2012-Anne Hathaway
*at home on election night, Mitt Romney (JAS) comes to terms with his defeat
-Girlfriends Talk Show- Kyra's (CES) new pal (host) isolates Morgan (AIB)
-Homeland- Saul (BIH) wants unstable Carrie (host) to do an interrogation
-McDonald's employees Niff (BOM) & Dana (CES) bad-mouth their co-workers
-Ellen (KAM)- dancing precedes an interview with Katie Holmes (host)
-American Gothic subjects (JAS) & (host) tried to bring humor to painting
November 17, 2012-Jeremy Renner
*Paula Broadwell (CES) reads from her scandalous David Petraeus biography
-The Californians- Stuart (FRA) explains Southland geography & learns he has a son
-The Situation Room- Tampa review fails to shed light on the Petraeus scandal
-Hawkeye (host) is the least-useful Avenger when he runs out of arrows
-actor (JAS) ruins a scene in which he's supposed to be slapped by host
-in the morgue, (host) can't grasp the concept of body identification
December 8, 2012-Jamie Foxx
*Barack Obama (JAP) takes pity on GOP exclusion target John Boehner (BIH)
-Bitch, What's The Answer?- (host) verbally abuses game show contestants
-J-Pop America Fun Time Now- sensei (host) is a fellow Japanese-fanatic
-game show contestants attempt to identify Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney
-Maine Justice- (BOM) is baffled by wacky Southern-like courtroom led by (JAS)
-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) endorse Swarovski Crystals
December 15, 2012-Martin Short
*The New York City Children's Chorus perform "Silent Night" in the wake of Sandy Hook
-The Tony Bennett (Alec Baldwin) Show- Jerry Bennett (MAS) meets Kanye West (JAP)
-representative (MAS) briefs the royal gynecologist (BIH) on vagina protocol
-What Up With That?- Samuel L. Jackson & Carrie Brownstein [real] see (KET)’s singing & dancing
-old friends (FRA) & (MAS) meet while shopping & catch up on shortcomings
-(MAS) won't let (Paul McCartney) sing during their Christmas pageant audition
January 19, 2013-Jennifer Lawrence
*Piers Morgan (TAK) Live- Lance Armstrong (JAS) doesn't really apologize
-Girlfriends Talk Show- punk rocker (host) drives a wedge in Morgan’s (AIB) friendship
-Katniss (host) & Peeta (TAK) answer questions at post-Hunger Games press conference
-menacing waitress (host) goes beyond the charmingly-mean vibe of a theme diner
-Top Dog Chef- canine cooks create meals from garbage bag ingredients
-intern (host) joins depressed yet manic Richard (TAK) & Buffalo (BOM) at radio gig
-Civil War soldier (TIR) sends letters to (host) asking her to send a tit pic
January 26, 2013-Adam Levine
*MLK (KET) visits re-inaugurated Barack Obama (JAP) to ask about Beyonce
-Circle Work- advice of (KET) & (host) comes from a homosexual perspective
-drama queen (BIH) shrieks at his coworkers during a firehouse event
-in a bar, host has a musical rumble with Pat Monahan (TAK) & other singers
-Catfish- Nev Schulman (host) proves that (AIB) was deceived by (JAP) online
-after a concert, host is the latest unlikely conquest for stocky Janet (BOM)
February 9, 2013-Justin Bieber
*Super Bowl power outage leads to extended CBS coverage & low-budget advertising
-The Californians- a runaway (host) & an art exhibit occupy Stuart's (FRA) home
-host's head of security (JAS) presents a dozen unconvincing body doubles
-high schooler (CES) & preteen (host) detail their date a la "Summer Nights"
-The Miley Cyrus (VAB) Show- fan club president (host) is flattering
-(host)'s girlfriend's (NAP) brother Eddie (TAK) mocks his verbal slip-up
-Principal Frye (JAP) maintains order during abstinence-themed Valentine's dance
February 16, 2013-Christoph Waltz
*Carnival Triumph crew members (JAS) & (CES) try to lift spirits during an awful cruise
-What Have You Become?- game show contestants win painful self-awareness
-at a party, Tippy (NAP) awkwardly attempts to contribute to conversations
-sexy singing sibling trio consists of (KET), (JAP) & dorky adopted (host)
-(host)'s friends find his affectionate new girlfriend Regine (FRA) off-putting
-Fox & Friends- Barack Obama is panned while Ted Nugent (BIH) is praised
-(CES) misses obvious signs that co-worker (host) is her creepy secret admirer
March 2, 2013-Kevin Hart
*Barack Obama (JAP) presents workers who will be affected by budget cuts
-Steve Harvey (KET) has (NAP) treat (host)'s equinophobia with stuffed horse
-The Situation Room- Quvenzhane Wallis (host) is the adorable new Pope
-Barnes & Noble employees Niff (BOM) & Dana (CES) bad-mouth their co-workers
-The Walking Dead- (host) plays the race card to hide his zombification
-Shark Tank- inventor's (host) lame product doesn't impress investors
-(VAB) is better suited for a Dove Chocolate voice-over gig than (host)
-360 News- anchor's (host) neck injury restricts his all-angles news program
March 9, 2013-Justin Timberlake
*Elton John (host) performs a "Candle In The Wind" variation for Hugo Chavez
-It's A Date- (VAB) prefers Dick in a Box guys (host) (ANS) & Festrunks (Steve Martin) (DAA)
-singing & dancing mascot (host) outshines sausage vendor (BOM) with Veganism
-The Tales Of Sober Caligula- the reformed Emperor (host) makes Rome boring
-Maine Justice- (JAS)’s transplanted Louisiana culture baffles defendant (ANS)
-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) endorse Moet & Chandon champagne
April 6, 2013-Melissa McCarthy
*Kim Jong Un (BOM) lifts the ban on same-sex marriage in his national address
-Outside The Lines- coach Sheila Kelly (host) abuses basketball players
-The Voice- unlike celebrity coaches, singer (host) knows she lacks talent
-at an annual ham bake-off, persistent runner-up (host) adds choreography
-Million Dollar Wheel- awful fill-in letter turner (host) wrecks game show
-loan officer (JAS) denies funding for (host)'s pizza eating business
-The Art Of The Encounter- videos depict strategies for landing the right man
April 13, 2013-Vince Vaughn
*senators Joe Manchin (JAS) & Pat Toomey (BIH) offer weak gun legislation
-Stormy Skies- soap opera mixes drama with weather report tropes
-(BIH) gives prompts throughout a short-term memory loss theater production
-rich weirdo (host) dances with the boys at a junior high prom he funded
-NBC executives reject John Tesh's (JAS) brother's (TIR) "Roundball Rock" lyrics
-at closing time, (host) & Sheila Sovage (KAM) are each other's only sex option
May 4, 2013-Zach Galifianakis
*Fox & Friends- Michael Bloomberg (FRA) is called out for gun & soda control
-Game Of Game Of Thrones- GOT fanatic (host) is stumped when different topics are asked
-Jennifer Aniston look-alike competition loser (host) demands to hear the other entries
-at M&M's World, racist greeter (host) apologizes to his fellow employees
-Darrell Sparks (host) plans to fix his cable access TV show in post-production
-dynamic jugglers (host) & (JAS) headline Michael Jordan’s lavish wedding
May 11, 2013-Kristen Wiig
*Jodi Arias (NAP) testifies at Benghazi hearings as a ratings stunt
-The Californians- back-from-the-dead Karina (KRW) meets pregnant (MAR)
-The Lawrence Welk (FRA) Show- Dooneese (KRW) goes after (JAS) on the beach
-Target lady (KRW) takes pleasure in processing cash register transactions
-acupuncturists (KRW) & (AIB) cause blood to gush from (JAS)'s back
-on a double date, (KRW) & (CES) flirt with sixth graders (BOM) & (TIR)
-Classy Sexy Elegance- CD features autotuned reality show housewives
May 18, 2013-Ben Affleck
*Politics Nation- Al Sharpton (KET) explores the IRS targeting scandal
-HBO First Look- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (FRA) provokes host with anti-Argo film
-during the Great Depression, (BIH) rejects (host)'s offer of honest work
-(host)'s summer camp is failing to turn gay teens straight
-poorly-disguised (host) attends his own funeral & opposes bitter eulogies
-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) endorse Hermes Handbags
-at her engagement party, (NAP)'s cop relatives keep emotions in check
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