September 27, 2014-Chris Pratt
*State Of The Union- Ray Lewis (KET) can address NFL legal issues but he won't
-(KYM)’s He-Man (host) & Lion-O (TAK) action figures come to life & bring chaos
-animal hospital workers (host) (KAM) (CES) are indifferent to pet mortality rates
-at a bar, shy (AIB) & (host) get to know each other with sexy rap lyrics
-NFL on CBS- players state their crimes while introducing themselves
-focus group dislikes inappropriate passion of (host) & (VAB) in new videogame
October 4, 2014-Sarah Silverman
*60 Minutes- Barack Obama (JAP) gives examples of the online grasp of ISIS
-in Heaven, just-arrived Joan Rivers (SAS) roasts other dead celebrities
-Forgotten TV Gems- backstabbing is absent from Supportive Women soap opera
-(CES), (SAZ) & (SAS) are stuck doing "Proud Mary" on a Nebraska steamboat
-(BOM)'s surprise backseat proposal to (SAS) goes badly due to her infidelity
-(VAB) gets called out by her friend (SAS) for buying pricey Vitamix blender
October 11, 2014-Bill Hader
*sore-footed Kim Jong Un (BOM) can't convince his army that he's healthy
-crotchety Herb Welch (BIH) whacks on high school abstinence pledge story
-Hollywood Game Night- Al Pacino (BIH) & other celebrities are unhelpful
-Anthony Peter Coleman (BIH) brings traumatic Grenada tales to puppetry class
-The Cat In The Hat's (BIH) old lover (CES) disrupts kids' rainy-day fun
October 25, 2014-Jim Carrey
*Ebola czar Ron Klain (TAK) & Al Sharpton (KET) address public health
-at the Carrey family reunion, (Jeff Daniels) & kin are like host's characters
-unscary dead guys Paul (TAK) & Phil (host) haunt a graveyard on Halloween
-Secret Billionaire- eccentric & elderly (host) competes to pair with (CES)
-during zombie attacks, (host) insists that his undead son (PED) isn't infected
-for an office costume contest, (host) & (KAM) dance a la "Chandelier" video
-Geoff's Halloween Emporium owner (host) is possessed by a demon
November 1, 2014-Chris Rock
*The Kelly (CES) File- Chris Christie (BOM) quarantines Ebola nurse (KAM)
-How 2 Dance With Janelle- teen vlogger (SAZ) is oblivious to her sexiness
-How's He Doing?- black experts cut Obama an infinite amount of slack
-Shark Tank- investors consider an investment pitch from members of ISIS
-an old couple (CSR) & (LEJ) argues while preparing for their anniversary outing
-Women In The Workplace- 1990s training video has curious diversity advice
November 15, 2014-Woody Harrelson
*Barack Obama (JAP) & Mitch McConnell (TAK) get drunk after election day
-Match'd- horny contestants confront bachelorette's (CES) emcee dad (host)
-football coach (host) demonstrates restrained safety measures to players
-at a bar, only (host) is longing for the good old days of NYC crack
-(host) can't get his friends to remember his apple song at a campfire
-sex-starved (host) & Sheila Sovage (KAM) necessarily lower their standards
November 22, 2014-Cameron Diaz
*Schoolhouse Rock!- Executive Order (BOM) creates policy, not Bill (KET)
-Annie- new orphan Annie (LEJ) is a large 43 year-old black woman
-high school's artsy Student Theatre Showcase irritates audience members
-(KET) has dinner at the house of baby-bodied Mr. Patterson (BEB) & wife (host)
-Dr. Dave (KET) & Buggles' Animal Hour had monkey-inflicted genital trauma
-Miss Meadows' (VAB) friend (host) recites an erotic poem about the UPS Man
-Night Murmurs phone callers (CES) (host) (KAM) have some favors to ask
December 6, 2014-James Franco
*Politics Nation- Al Sharpton (KET) addresses the police shootings controversy
-Peter Pan (CES) Live!- Tonkerbell (AIB) asserts with Captain Hook (host)
-Jingle Ballerz- Hip Hop Nativity features Kanye West (JAP) as Jesus
-bridge troll (host) brings out Cathy Anne (CES) in pursuit of riddle solution
-(PED)’s brain is emptied of trivia by moderator (host) to make space for password
-(host) immaturely trashes the 4 year-old he lost the mayoral election to
-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) (Seth Rogen) endorse Sunseeker Yachts
December 13, 2014-Martin Freeman
*Charlie Rose (TAK)- torture consultants (BOM) & (KYM) take pride in torment
-everyone at the wedding of odd couple (host) & (LEJ) raises objections
-Right Side Of The Bed- (host) suffers endless morning show segment teases
-Gordon (TAK) is slow to grasp simple duties of a ketchup assembly line
-sax player's (host) conflict with (TAK) leaks into Treece's (KET) gig
-Waterbed Warehouse owner's (host) wife (AIB) embraces company mascot role
December 20, 2014-Amy Adams
*Dr. Evil (MIM) addresses North Korea about the Sony Pictures hack
-a family's video Christmas card documents unhappy events from the past year
-Girlfriends Talk Show- dance squad members (One Direction) enchant Morgan (AIB)
-A Very Cuban Christmas- lifted embargo inspires an unfocused special
-in 1947, offbeat beauties (KAM) (host) (CES) approach (BOM) & (KYM) in a bar
-Barbara (KAM) & new girlfriend (host) give away cats at Whiskers R' We
January 17, 2015-Kevin Hart
*in 2015, high-schooler (PED) informs MLK (KET) on social progress
-Why'd You Post That?- (host) criticizes & punishes Instagram users
-during a 1971 performance, James Brown (host) seeks agreement from his band
-(VAB) gets clownish theme music during a televised soap opera cast reunion
-everyone in the kingdom but (host) sings about the impending dragon attack
-mannerisms of (LEJ)'s son (JAP) confirm that host is the father
-rapper (host) performs song for his crew that reveal their secrets
January 24, 2015-Blake Shelton
*Inside The NFL- Patriots ballboy (BOM) was responsible for Deflategate
-Farm Hunk (host)- Hollywood bachelorettes compete for a life in Iowa
-Family Feud- stars of The Voice & American Idol rival on celebrity edition
-parole board denies Texas Man Gobbler's (KET) bid for Shawshank Redemption
-Topeka Today- widower (TAK) wrote song about his 70-year marriage to awful Joan
-formerly-skeptical audience member (host) asks magician (TAK) for powers
January 31, 2015-J.K. Simmons
*Super Bowl Shutdown- Richard Sherman (JAP) & Marshawn Lynch (KET) get hyped
-Miss Trash 2015- undesirable contestants compete in an awful pageant
-Cinema Classics- Nazi realities make Ilsa (KAM) uneasy in Casablanca outtake
-Microsoft Office animation Pushie (BOM) irritates computer user (host)
-at career day, (host) tells schoolkids about being a Japanese messy boy
February 28, 2015-Dakota Johnson
*Birdman (BEB) personifies Rudy Giuliani's (TAK) post-9/11 glory days
-Cathy Anne (CES) is a third wheel as Cinderella (host) meets Charming (TAK)
-young reporter (KYM) unsettles host at a Fifty Shades Of Grey press junket
-complainers (BOM), (host) & (CES) downplay officemate's (AIB) broken arms
-doctor (KET) explains why he's dressed as Worf while performing surgery
-Net Effect- online experts struggle to explain the concept of net neutrality
March 7, 2015-Chris Hemsworth
*ambitious Hillary Clinton (KAM) is unconcerned about email scandal threat
-Brother 2 Brother- twins Marky (TAK) & Matty (host) are easy to identify
-chicken captain of a spaceship is forced to make a heroic sacrifice
-The Iggy Azalea (KAM) Show- rap appropriation bugs Azealia Banks (SAZ)
-media hound Thor (host) is overjoyed following Avengers' defeat of Ultron
-acting coach from The Jeffersons (KET) prompts cartoonish takes in a drama
-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) endorse Dolce & Gabbana perfume
March 28, 2015-Dwayne Johnson
*anger turns First Couple into The Rock Obama (host) & She Rock Obama (LEJ)
-Koko (host) demoralizes Trashyard Mutt (BOM) during WrestleMania promo
-ignorant (host) & girlfriend Jemma (CES) crash (KET) & (VAB)'s dinner date
-(KAM) wishes she could suck poison from adventure hero (host) instead of (PED)
-Cooking With Paul- sex offender (KET) is monitored by probation officer (host)
-an improv troupe pulls inspiration from the creepy life of Robert Durst (KAM)
-(VAB) & (host) use good-cop odd-cop interrogation technique with (TAK)
April 4, 2015-Michael Keaton
*basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski (TAK) says that college education should come first
-CNN Newsroom- amateurish reenactments fail to convey reports on news items
-despite the downsides, (SAZ) suggests calling your grandmother for Easter
-advertising boss (host) interjects inappropriate sex & violence into pitches
-inventor (host) & his wife (CES) show toaster & couch concepts to neighbors
-(host) presents the holiday contents found inside his Easter basket
April 11, 2015-Taraji P. Henson
*Hillary (KAM) & Bill (DAH) Clinton film her candidacy announcement video
-trial shows teen Gavin Daly (PED) got praise after sex with teacher (CES)
-actress (KAM) can't recall alternatives of a 3-way poncho for sale on QVC
-Hollywood Game Night- dumb game show strains Jane Lynch's (KAM) patience
-How 2 Dance With Janelle- teen vlogger (SAZ) & her mom (host) wedge Teddy (KYM)
-Cinema Classics- female baseballers shun (host) in A League Of Their Own ripoff
-Connectatron- robot component pilot’s (host) quarrels interfere with battle
May 2, 2015-Scarlett Johansson
*NBC seeks ratings by simulating the Floyd Mayweather (JAP) vs. Manny Pacquiao (AIB) fight
-Right Side Of The Bed- flirty antics annoy New Jersey bartender (host)
-Baltimore unrest looms during broadcast of an Orioles game in an empty stadium
-Girlfriends Talk Show- prom queen (host) makes fashion choices for Morgan (AIB)
-(host) & (CES) annoy museumgoers with random remarks at a dinosaur exhibit
-malfunctioning robot stewardesses (host) & (VAB) disturb first class
-(host) & (AIB) pitch tonally-wrong Pampers jingles full of desert animals
May 9, 2015-Reese Witherspoon
*GOP presidential hopefuls try to look cool at a Republican gathering
-Be Scene In L.A.- live mics disrupt cougars' (host) & (CES) talk show
-Picture Perfect- contestant (BOM) refuses to draw The Prophet Muhammad
-pretentiousness of Student Theatre Showcase annoys parents in the audience
-suburban women share their bizarre troubles, drink wine & rob a house
-waterpark employees (BEB) (KYM) (host) pay little attention to sliders
-Barbara (KAM) & latest girlfriend (host) profile adoptable Whiskers R' We cats
May 16, 2015-Louis C.K.
*Hillary Clinton's (KAM) focus on presidency leaves no time for summer fun
-kinky elves (KET) & (VAB) urge shoemaker (host) into punishing them
-to avoid angering boss (LEJ), (host) is stuck with a sassy black accent
-Jemma (CES) & her new overbearing boyfriend (host) order champagne & shrimp
-actors suspected of mugging (TAK) (KYM) (BEB) (host) treat police line-up as an audition
-Forgotten TV Gems- lesbian housewife (KAM) was an outlet for sitcom hijinks
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