October 3, 2015-Miley Cyrus
*Donald (TAK) & Melania (CES) Trump defend his campaign trail statements
-at a 1955 homecoming dance, (JOR) & modern bad girl (host) pair up
-Hillary Clinton (KAM) tells her troubles to bartender (Hillary Clinton)
-The Millennials- entitled twentysomethings are heroes of workplace drama
-(LEJ)'s orgasms are strangely specific in the When Harry Met Sally diner
-late-night talk show pioneer (LEJ) didn't let racism go unchallenged
October 10, 2015-Amy Schumer
*Fox & Friends- Jason Chaffetz (PED) & Debbie Wasserman Schultz (KAM) talk
-stewardesses (host) & (VAB) fall outside during in-flight announcements
-actual kid (AIB) interrupts (KYM) & (host) during porno set in classroom
-fill-in Mary Todd Lincoln (host) ad libs in Ford's Theatre reenactment
-Bakersfield city council hears unconventional requests from citizens
-at a baby shower, overprotective (host) freaks out over (CES)'s lost purse
October 17, 2015-Tracy Morgan
*Bernie Sanders (Larry David) outshines Jim Webb (Alec Baldwin) in debate
-Family Feud- remarried father (TRM) plays against his ex-wife (LEJ) & kids
-Brian Fellow's (TRM) Safari Planet- a smoking beaver & a camel frustrate
-The Loveliest Kingdom gets awkward when (TAK) mentions gay relationship
-Yo! Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?- (KET) & (TRM) would like to know
-Mars marooned Astronaut Jones (TRM) meets a Martian babe (Demi Lovato)
November 7, 2015-Donald Trump
*Bernie Sanders (Larry David) is snappy at Democratic candidates forum
-in 2018, host's presidency is the best of all time (because fuck common sense)
-host's insulting live-Tweeting distracts castmembers during Italy sketch
-laser harp player (host) is bitter that his bandmates hog the spotlight
-host doesn't approve of dense former porn stars' (VAB) (CES) (BOM) endorsement
November 14, 2015-Elizabeth Banks
*in wake of Paris terrorism, CES expresses solidarity in English & French
-Black Jeopardy!- white contestant (host) struggles to get the hang of it
-Student Theatre Showcase performers continue to wage social justice wars
-The Adventures Of Young Ben Carson (JAP) are unlikely foundational events
-contest winner (BOM) gets crime drama walk-on role as a killer pervert
-unlike her friends' first-world problems, (host)'s life is truly ghetto
November 21, 2015-Matthew McConaughey
*Fox & Friends- Ben Carson (JAP) gives his thoughts on Syrian refugees
-trouble-free (host) sits in with blues musicians who have legit hardships
-audience easily identifies 3D bioprinted man (host) at a presentation
-Should You Chime In On This?- ignorant contestants can't resist getting involved
-Right Side Of The Bed- oven cleaner fumes overcome turkey chef (host)
-at a community forum, inferiority complex leads (host) to object train
December 5, 2015-Ryan Gosling
*Donald (TAK) & Melania (CES) Trump list who's naughty & who's nice
-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) UFO trip was less supernatural than other abductees'
-at a 13th birthday party, Melanie (AIB) falls for (VAB)'s dad (host)
-(KYM) tries to embarrass boyhood rival host during his hometown visit
-The Wiz Live! characters meet Scarecrow (host) from The Wizard Of Oz
-kinky elves (KET), (VAB) & (host) try tempting Santa (BOM) into discipline
December 12, 2015-Chris Hemsworth
*George W. Bush (WIF) is preferable to any of the current GOP candidates
-On The Record- Ted Cruz (TAK) & other GOP candidates respond to Muslims
-Brother 2 Brother- Marky's (TAK) composition is obviously inferior to Matty's (host)
-(host) & (CES) derail Christmas carol singalong with obscure "Debra's Time"
-ladies' friend "Claire" is host in drag seeking hunkiness reassurance
-on a pirate ship, crewman Mark (JOR) lifts spirits with his buffoonery
-earnest dancers (TAK) (host) (JAP) (BEB) don't get strip club concept
December 19, 2015-Tina Fey & Amy Poehler
*Jeb Bush (BEB) acts tough with Donald Trump (DAH) during GOP debate
-Hillary Clinton's (KAM) 2008 self (AMP) & Sarah Palin (TIF) visit her
-Meet Your Second Wife!- contestants' future mates are much much younger
-acting coach from The Jeffersons (KET) requests unfit emoting during serious scene
-clips on 1970s variety show DVD are marked by alcohol, cocaine & roofies
-Bronx Beat- Betty (AMP) & Philadelphian cousin (TIF) discover Jodi's (MAR) pregnancy
January 16, 2016-Adam Driver
*Donald Trump (DAH), Ted Cruz (TAK) & Chris Christie (BOM) lead GOP debate
-Packers quarterback’s (PED) gruesome injury is replayed repeatedly
-Jasmine (CES) gets pelted during magic carpet ride with Aladdin (host)
-America's Funniest Cats- Joelle (CES) & Noelle (KAM) provide French apathy
-"social puppeteering" warning of (host) & (CES) inspires kids to bully elaborately
-actual kid (AIB) interrupts (host) & (BEB) during porno set in doctor's office
January 23, 2016-Ronda Rousey
*Donald Trump (DAH) comments on Sarah Palin's (TIF) rambling endorsement
-Best Actor nominees are all white guys in mostly African-American movies
-Bland Man (TAK)- bachelorettes throw themselves at reality show vanilla
-trial reveals teacher (CES) & (host) threesome made Gavin Daly (PED) a teen legend
-all superhero team members must introduce themselves before saving city
-Bakersfield city council hears more requests from eccentric citizens
-(BEB) & (KYM) reveal themselves to be clueless about party protocol
February 6, 2016-Larry David
*Ted Cruz (TAK) gloats in having overcome his inherent disadvantages
-neon-clad Kevin Roberts (host) is recurring target in FBI street simulator
-passengers (host) & (Bernie Sanders) object to upper-class privilege on sinking ship
-at a songwriting class, (host) avoids rhymes in favor of frog-toad saga
-Cam Newton (KET) & Peyton Manning (TAK) sing "Ebony & Ivory" variation
-(host) & Sheila Sovage (KAM) convince themselves they have chemistry together
February 13, 2016-Melissa McCarthy
*Hillary Clinton (KAM) sings "I Can't Make You Love Me" to Bernie supporters
-(host) assaulted fellow audience members in test screening of scary movie
-awkwardness grows as (PED) & parents (BOM) & (host) watch movie sex scene
-in a bar, (host) clumsily practices (CES)’s pick-up techniques on (KYM)
-on a bus, (host) annoys (LEJ) with attempts to be hip towards black experience
-Barbara (KAM) & new gal (host) plug Whiskers R' We Valentine's Cat Giveaway
March 5, 2016-Jonah Hill
*Ted Cruz (TAK) & Mitt Romney (JAS) evaluate against Donald Trump (DAH)
-Fond du Lac Action News- off-topic personal items guide small town report
-foreign ambassador (host) bids for viral videomakers at high school auction
-(host)'s massive dump is revealed during a murder mystery resolution
-caterer (host) aggressively overstates the success of his food offerings
March 12, 2016-Ariana Grande
*Ben Carson (JAP) endorses while Bernie Sanders (Larry David) enjoys a win
-countdown to conclusion of Kids' Choice Awards pre-show is mistimed
-(BEB)'s blobfish mermaid Shud (KAM) is uglier than his fellow seamen's
-intern (host) provides vocals after power outage at Tidal headquarters
-Family Feud- Jennifer Lawrence (host) & other actors take on directors
-in The Sound Of Music, Maria (host) complains about nuns' musical diss
April 2, 2016-Peter Dinklage
*At This Hour- Scottie Nell Hughes (CES) defends Donald Trump's misogyny
-Winnie The Pooh's (host) cousin Denny The Real (JAP) gives him advice
-nightclub singer's (host) space-pants defuse mob boss' (BOM) vengeance
-restaurant in former sex parlor serves food via a preserved glory hole
-dead body (TAK) floats against the window of underwater honeymoon suite
-Vacation Nightmares- (KAM) & (AIB) poorly reenact mugging by Danish men
-humorless (host) dissects logic of magician's (TAK) stolen underwear gag
April 9, 2016-Russell Crowe
*Hillary Clinton (KAM) panders to New York in order to break losing streak
-Politics Nation- (Al Sharpton) rates candidates for Al Sharpton (KET)
-hologram of Henry VIII (host) demands male heir from female museumgoers
-Match Finders- (host) woos bachelorette (CES) with his vaginal knowledge
-100 Days In The Jungle- (PED)'s uncle's friend (host) visits reality show
-ninja Shanice Goodwin (LEJ) rescues (VAB) from Russian mob boss (host)
April 16, 2016-Julia Louis-Dreyfus
*Elaine Benes (JLD) questions Bernie Sanders (Larry David) at debate
-Long Island sisters (JLD) & (KAM) model their line of Huge Jewelry
-Cinema Classics- actress (JLD) relied on line cues written on props
-Who Works Here?- game show contestants try to identify CVS employees
-in a bar, aliens (JLD) & (KAM) are desperate to mate with human males
May 7, 2016-Brie Larson
*Church Chat- Church Lady (DAC) questions Ted Cruz (TAK) & Donald Trump (DAH)
-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) near-death experience suffered from inept guardian angel
-fellow moms at (host)'s baby shower welcome her to haircut sisterhood
-Game Of Thrones- (host) & (CES) call attention to dragged-out storylines
-Quiz Whiz 2018- contestants (TAK) & (host) have forgotten about Ted Cruz
May 14, 2016-Drake
*Chris Christie (BOM) pushes to be Donald Trump's (DAH) running mate
-car rental employees (host) & (JAP) have no vehicle for (BEB) & (VAB)
-Sexy Kinda Evening- singer's (host) 1978 special is hampered by poor direction
-Paul Ryan (TAK) inspects Mr. Patterson (BEB) as potential Donald Trump replacement
-Black Jeopardy!- black Canadian (host) has different cultural standards
-high school dance chaperone (host) looks fifteen years into the past
May 21, 2016-Fred Armisen
*Hillary Clinton (KAM) disposes of lingering Bernie Sanders (Larry David)
-classroom presentation depicts horniness of Lewis (FRA) & Clark (KYM)
-(JAS) arouses his physically affectionate new girlfriend Regine (FRA)
-(FRA)'s spaceship sacrifice is diminished as he activates escape pod
-self-congratulatory Student Theatre Showcase is a crowd displeaser
-(FRA)’s crowded Harkin Brothers Band performs a feel-good track
No comments:
Post a Comment