September 30, 2017-Ryan Gosling
*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) renews relationship with Jeff Sessions (KAM)
-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) second close encounter wasn't much of an improvement
-The Fliplets- dark (host) dampens his brothers' (MID) & (ALM) home renovation show
-in a barn, fugitive (host) decides to remain loyal to fowl Henrietta (AIB)
-(host) & (CES) feel betrayed by Pizza Hut commercial's pasta switcheroo
-flautist's (host) mysterious personal drama leaks into Treece's (KET) gig
October 7, 2017-Gal Gadot
*Jason Aldean [real] observes the Las Vegas shootings with "I Won't Back Down"
-no-longer-imprisoned O.J. Simpson (KET) has a dinner date with (host)
-mirage of (host) & Jamba Juice appears to (KET) & (BEB) in the desert
-ballgown made by fairy tale mice (KAM) (KYM) (AIB) doesn't impress (host)
-sexy webcam show of (CES) & (AIB) interferes with online ransom drop
-lesbians (AIB) & (KAM) are disappointed Diana (host) & Amazons aren't gay
-strict (KET) becomes father figure to (AIB)’s rowdy teen daughter (HEG)
October 14, 2017-Kumail Nanjiani
*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) goes off-topic at a Pennsylvania rally
-Bank Breakers- (host) regrets beating sympathetic game show contestant (CES)
-potential hepatitis transmission kills fun at an office Halloween party
-Debette Goldry (KAM) has first-hand knowledge of sexual harassment in Hollywood
-Marriott clerk (host) suggests hotel services to uninterested guest (MID)
-elderly (KAM)’s busy sex life leaves grandkids (MID) & (HEG) outraged
November 4, 2017-Larry David
*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) visits house-arrested Paul Manafort (ALM)
-The Price Is Right- Bernie Sanders (host) plays on celebrity pairs edition
-directing honoree's (host) old PSAs are found to be offensive in retrospect
-Fresh Takes- teacher (host) shares inappropriate gossip on high school show
-at a party, (host)'s gay-famous new wife (CES) performs her club routine
November 11, 2017-Tiffany Haddish
*Mike Pence (BEB) & Jeff Sessions (KAM) ask Roy Moore (MID) to drop out
-(KET) is stuck with non-fighting avatar (host) during video game battle
-last black unicorns (host) & (LEJ) prophesize (AIB)'s unpleasant future
-Get Woke With Tamika (LEJ)- show’s perspective & format is very confusing
-Barbara (KAM) & new partner (host) show off new felines at Whiskers R' We
November 18, 2017-Chance the Rapper
*Donald Jr. (MID) & Eric (ALM) Trump get information from Julian Assange (KAM)
-Bruce Wayne (BEB) hears backlash about Batman's targeted crimefighting
-Family Feud- Steve Harvey (KET) meets his secret love child (host)
-hockey gig has basketball reporter Lazlo Holmes (host) out of his element
-on career day, (host) & (MID) try to hype their boring dads (KET) & (BEB)
-actual kid (AIB) interrupts (host) & (HEG) during porno set in babysitting scene
December 2, 2017-Saoirse Ronan
*sins revisit Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) a la A Christmas Carol ghosts
-explosion brings attention to (MID)'s odd presence at American Girl Store
-Kmart clerk (MID) responds to numerous unreasonable customer complaints
-pool boy Chad (PED) is a peculiar sensation at tennis bachelor auction
-on his first day of school, (LUN)'s jerky behavior fails miserably
-Aer Lingus stewardesses (host) & (CES) make preflight announcements
December 9, 2017-James Franco
*mall Santa (KET) deflects awkward current events questions asked by kids
-co-workers react unevenly to problematic (host) & loveable Charlie (KET)
-incompetent store gift-wrapper's (host) paper cut produces gushes of blood
-spelling bee moderator (host) injects personal traumas into proceedings
-(host) convicts defendant (PED) on basis of whether za is slang for pizza
-host's cousin Mandy (HEG) is concerned about him at a reunion
December 16, 2017-Kevin Hart
*Donald (Alec Baldwin) & Ivanka (Scarlett Johansson) Trump trim loser tree
-in a meeting, (host) won't admit that he needs to go to the bathroom
-Inside The NBA- Shaquille O'Neal's (host) stream of consciousness is zany
-a high school nativity play's camel substitute is a grunting llama
-at a holiday party, (host)'s wife (LEJ) makes him pleasure a big teddy bear
-Action Jack (KET) is less energetic than younger self (host) in show recreation
January 13, 2018-Sam Rockwell
*Morning Joe- Michael Wolff (FRA) thanks source Steve Bannon (BIM)
-Science Room- dumb kids (MID) & (CES) irritate Mr. Science (host)
-The Look- Time's Up wokeness equalizes red carpet fashion critiques
-Captain Hook (host) reconsiders the outlook of adding Lost Boys to his crew
-during home visit, (host) recognizes son's (ALM) pornstar boyfriend (CRR)
-genetic engineers (host) & (MID) combined dog head with human body
January 20, 2018-Jessica Chastain
*Dr. Ronny Jackson (BEB) gives pleasing assessment of Donald Trump's health
-Car Hunk (ALM)- flawed bachelorettes shamelessly seek coupling
-Google Talks- (MID) is bullied because he looks like Bart Simpson
-What Even Matters Anymore- host expresses Trump aggravation in game show sketch
-representatives of potential Amazon headquarters pitch to Jeff Bezos (KYM)
-(host) & (HEG) can't comprehend buy-one-taco-get-one-free concept
-acting coach from The Jeffersons (KET) desires whacky takes on movie set
January 27, 2018-Will Ferrell
*George W. Bush (WIF) reminds America that he was a really bad president
-Clown Penis (WIF) is less skilled than his fellow ace jet fighter pilots
-old couple (WIF) & (KAM) flub lines during restaurant commercial shoot
-(WIF)'s interjections spoil fellow flight attendants' (AIB) & (CRR) safety rap
-reality TV stars (WIF) & (CES) get ugly for the camera at friends' barbecue
-three couples carefully try to discuss sexual allegations of Aziz Ansari
-(WIF) gets defensive after confusing Crate & Barrel with Cracker Barrel
-box set features classic rock & roll of pedophile Chucky Lee Byrd (WIF)
February 3, 2018-Natalie Portman
*Fox & Friends- Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) ridicules FBI from his bed
-in 1775, Super Bowl preview puts (RAD) & Boston vs. (TIF) & Philly
-Stranger Things 3- Eleven (host) meets others with powers & handicaps
-(host)'s space alien lover (BEB) has face & butt locations reversed
-(host) loses her voice during Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards pre-show
-Jackie Kennedy (host) & other First Ladies advise Melania Trump (CES)
-in a bar, catfisher Bunny (AIB) gives women advice on how to catch a man
March 3, 2018-Charles Barkley
*at bipartisan meeting, Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) addresses gun violence
-The Grabbies- award show recognizes problematic male-female interactions
-Homework Hotline- prank callers target tutor (host) on public access TV
-The Champions- the NFL took a toll on ex-player D.C. Timmons (KET)
-Hump Or Dump- (host) woos bachelorette (AIB) by threatening suicide
-construction workers speculate on what they would wear if they were women
-alone again at last call, Sheila Sovage (KAM) settles for necking with (host)
March 10, 2018-Sterling K. Brown
*The Bachelor Live- Robert Mueller (KAM) has bad news for Becca K. (CES)
-Family Feud- Oscar winners battle Common (host) & other Oscar losers
-at dinner with his future in-laws, (host) insists that Shrek is superior
-in Black Panther deleted scene, T'Challa (CRR) meets distant uncle (KET)
-Dr. Love (host) urges (BEB) to commit to the woman he's having sex with
-script supervisor's (CES) line reads throws actor (host) off his game
-on her death bed, (MEV) recites "This Is How You Remind Me" lyrics
March 17, 2018-Bill Hader
*Anderson Cooper (ALM) 360- fired Rex Tillerson (John Goodman) is relieved
-The Californians- Devin's (BIH) love child (PED) attends Stuart's (FRA) party
-Kiss Me I'm Irish- contestants (KAM) & (CES) are bachelor's (BIH) cousins
-(CES) has wheelchair sex with her elderly husband (BIH) in front of friends
-(BIH) warns Sedona tourists (ALM) & (HEG) about his close encounter
-Canada's Harvey Weinstein equivalent (BIH) is inoffensive & apologetic
April 7, 2018-Chadwick Boseman
*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) & Baltic leaders answer reporters' questions
-Black Jeopardy!- T'Challa (host) adapts to African-American perspective
-pregnant man (MID) dreads repercussions of nonvaginal delivery of triplets
-R. Kelly (host) appears to (LEJ) in the Disneyland Magic Mirror
-fireman (host) wants to leave duty to work on mannequin-for-dogs idea
-diners (KAM), (CES), (host) & (KET) jazzily file a complaint in song
-white appropriation of Wakanda salute discomforts (LEJ), (CRR) & (host)
April 14, 2018-John Mulaney
*Robert Mueller (Robert DeNiro) detects Michael Cohen's (BES) lies
-(host) works drag brunch to critically judge his former boss (ALM)
-teen's (host) boner prevents him from joining National School Walkout
-(PED) ordering lobster in a diner causes musical production inspired by Les Miz
-Hollywood Update- (host) is rebooting his icky 1980s body-swap sitcom
-(HEG) dislikes boyfriend's (LUN) choice to have his horn implants removed
May 5, 2018-Donald Glover
*Michael Cohen’s (BES) phone web includes Harold Bornstein (MAS) & Stormy Daniels [real]
-Jurassic World attorney (host) minimizes carnage experienced by (MID)
-mistaken identity leads Raz P. Berry (host) to overwhelm (CES) in music video
-in bed, (host) regrets requesting pre-sex dirty talk & role-playing with (MEV)
-Lando Calrissian (host) & few black humans inhabit a galaxy far, far away
-interns (PED) (host) (HEG) suggest Barbie Instagram account captions
-inmates (CRR) (host) (KET) run call center & discuss prison turmoil
May 12, 2018-Amy Schumer
*for Mother's Day, castmembers' moms want SNL to be less political
-Mother Knows Best- too-close (MID) & his mom (KAM) dominate game show
-Handmaids In The City- (host), (CES), (AIB) & (KAM) gossip in Gilead
-Gospel Brunch- faith & unhealthiness brand cooking show of (KET) & (LEJ)
-kids (KYM) & (host) will act in Lil' Rent musical about diabetes epidemic
-Sheila Sovage (KAM) expands last-chance hookup to include lesbian (host)
May 19, 2018-Tina Fey
*Donald Trump's (Alec Baldwin) fate lurks a la The Sopranos finale
-Prince Harry (MID) greets guests on video of the royal wedding reception
-Morning Joe- Natalia Veselnitskaya (TIF) denies Russian collusion
-Dateline- pervert (BEB) does retakes during sting operation shoot
-(MEV) clashes with mom (TIF) during a high school talent show duet
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