Season 42 (16-17)

October 1, 2016-Margot Robbie

*Hillary Clinton (KAM) lets Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) fumble debate

-TV news team can't get why hottie (host) married dweeb Matt Schatt (MID)

-Family Feud- Bernie Sanders (Larry David) & Team Clinton meet Team Trump

-The Hunch Bunch- girlfriend (host) doesn't fit in with mystery team

-veteran actress Debette Goldry (KAM) shares tales of Hollywood misogyny

October 8, 2016-Lin-Manuel Miranda

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) handles Access Hollywood bus remark fallout

-at a campground, overly-friendly siblings (KYM) & (VAB) sing obnoxiously

-students callout substitute teacher's (host) attempts at cool teaching

-The Music Man- Wells Fargo Wagon has (host) bring bad financial plans

-Stranger Things- Lucas' (SAZ) parents (KET) & (LEJ) confront the group

-in WWII, wounded (PED) asks (host) to conceal embarrassing personal items

October 15, 2016-Emily Blunt

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) & Hillary Clinton (KAM) debate at a town hall

-in a hotel room, escorts (host) & (LEJ) lay out their unsexy ground rules

-short film festival attendee (VAB) is the only person not in cast or crew

-a long limo containing eccentric artists visits a Burger King drive-thru

-Honda smartbots (MID) & (host) malfunction while serving appetizers

-The Great British Bake Off- crass (host) & (CES) disrupt polite atmosphere

-hamsters (BEB), (KAM), (ALM) & (host) act a la Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

October 22, 2016-Tom Hanks

*Chris Wallace (host) moderates final Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) & Hillary Clinton (KAM) debate

-Black Jeopardy!- Trump voter (host) finds common ground with contestants

-(host) & (CES) present Journey-inspired Halloween block party musical routine

-unscary David S. Pumpkins (host) is a confounding haunted house attraction

-proud Sully Sullenberger (host) hesitates at being (Alec Baldwin)'s copilot

-America's Funniest Pets- Joelle (CES) Noelle (KAM) & Ron Howard (host) voice animals

November 5, 2016-Benedict Cumberbatch

*Alec Baldwin [real] & KAM stop Trump-Clinton sketch for Times Square wandering

-Why Is Benedict Cumberbatch Hot?- game show helps jealous BEB find the answer

-surprise bachelorette party continues after killing elderly honoree (AIB)

-Jemma (CES) & magician boyfriend (host) provide unwanted entertainment

-action hero (BEB) eagerly solves criminal mastermind's (host) riddles

-(host) speaks for benefactor Mr. Shaw who is an eagle head in a suit

November 12, 2016-Dave Chappelle

*untriumphant Hillary Clinton (KAM) plays piano & sings "Hallelujah"

-unlike their white friends, (host) & (CSR) were tonally aware of election result

-castmembers address Jheri's Place fiasco in a post-sketch press conference

-union of Sheila Sovage (KAM) & (host) is gross & pathetic during last call

-43 year-old (host) lives with his mom (LEJ) who is still breastfeeding

November 19, 2016-Kristen Wiig

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) drops promises & rejects Mitt Romney (JAS)

-Secret Word- Mindy Grayson (KRW) & Italian bombshell (CES) flub the clues

-CNN News experts get their discussion caught in loops a la Westworld

-rival neighbors (CES) & (KRW) make competing audition tapes to be on QVC

-Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons crowd penthouse apartment window

-Barbara (KAM) & new gal (KRW) promote Whiskers R' We Thanksgiving Catacopia

-surprise-loving Sue (KRW) can't wait to share unannounced holiday homecoming

December 3, 2016-Emma Stone

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) retweets strangers during security briefing

-Student Theatre Showcase performers miss the point on social issues

-Krissy Knox (host) & other poster models teach math to highschooler (PED)

-office cleaning women (LEJ) (host) (CES) perform naughty Santa songs

-on an actress panel, Debette Goldry (KAM) describes extreme old-school sexism

-insensitive Joseph (KYM) surrounds post-delivery Mary (host) with visitors

December 10, 2016-John Cena

*Walter White (Bryan Cranston) is Donald Trump's drug enforcement nominee

-Hook A Hunk- bachelors are ignored when contestant (CES) falls for (host)

-Alabama football player's (host) bad science project is graded lightly

-Where'd Your Money Go?- pro athletes on game show have no self-control

-ledge-hanging (AIB)'s co-workers are more concerned about dangling Christmas tree

-bookstore workers (AIB) & (host) behave like romance novel characters

-United States Of Talent- brothers' (host) & (MID) owl just craps & barfs

December 17, 2016-Casey Affleck

*Vladimir Putin (BEB) & Rex Tillerson (John Goodman) visit Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin)

-(host) is puzzled by homosexuality of presenters’ (FRA) & (KAM) android (BEB)

-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) Santa-free trip to the North Pole lacked Christmas magic

-New York Now- Long Island staging of Nativity play is all low-brow humor

-kinky elves (KET), (VAB) & (host) seek discipline from Mrs. Claus (AIB)

-in a bar, knife fight participants & respondents are shy & self-deprecating

January 14, 2017-Felicity Jones

*reporters get direct at Donald Trump's (Alec Baldwin) press conference

-Beard Hunk (BEB)- reality show bachelorettes all possess various flaws

-106 year-old (MID) disrupts the local theater production he funded

-summoned Susan B. Anthony (KAM) can't keep modern women's attention

-dumb sex comedy creators (host) (BEB) (KYM) cite political influences

-timid (CES), (host) & (MEV) tell intercourse jokes at a corporate retreat

January 21, 2017-Aziz Ansari

*Donald Trump fan Vladimir Putin (BEB) addresses post-inauguration America

-Beat The Bookworm- brainiac (host) is oblivious to 90s pop culture

-cops (BEB) & (CES) interrogate (host) for not completely loving La La Land

-personal-injury lawyers Broderick (KAM) & Ganz (BOM) are unequal partners

-in bed, (MEV)'s pre-sex dirty talk & role-playing is too real for (host)

-animatronic pizza band character (host) interrupts a police standoff

February 4, 2017-Kristen Stewart

*Donald Trump's (Alec Baldwin) aggressive phone calls distance world leaders

-(host)'s drinking anecdotes surprise college alcohol education class attendees

-aggressive Sean Spicer (Melissa McCarthy) briefs & berates the press

-Family Feud- Steve Harvey (KET) quizzes supporters of Falcons & Patriots

-Willy Wonka's golden ticket reveals Charlie's (host) grandparents' health

February 11, 2017-Alec Baldwin

*Sean Spicer (Melissa McCarthy) & Jeff Sessions (KAM) address reporters

-Cheetos prefers socially-conscious pitches of (host) & (AIB) for Super Bowl ad

-at boot camp, Army colonel (host) hazes all recruits except his son (MID)

-The People's Court- Donald Trump (host) sues to restore his travel ban

-Beyonce's (SAZ) twins (KET) & (TRM) are excited during ultrasound test

-(MID) repeatedly farts while breaking his high school's sit-up record

March 4, 2017-Octavia Spencer

*not-so-naive Jeff Sessions (KAM) recounts his misdeeds a la Forrest Gump

-former employee (host) sues drug company for stealing names from relatives & friends

-(MEV), (ALM) & (host) fill in for celebrities voicing cartoon characters

-Sticky-Bun trainees (MID) (host) (MEV) fail at customer interaction

-(CES) brings (host) to her friends to prove she supports equality

-fired (BEB) supplies chocolate in hopes his co-workers will forget gunplay

-employees of host's Spencer's gift store hear her goofy product ideas

March 11, 2017-Scarlett Johansson

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) fails to inspire troops during alien invasion

-Good Day Denver- show mislabels animal photographer (MID) as pornographer

-thought-translator device creator (host) learns her dog is a Trump fan

-(BEB) gives odd directions to actors shooting an Olive Garden commercial

-Shud (KAM) & anglerfish-mermaid (host) hit on marooned pilot (MID)

-Shanice Goodwin (LEJ) & fellow ninja (host) rescue their kidnapped sensei (BOM)

-female castmembers are sidelined in pro-women sketch written by BEB & KYM

-widow (VAB) learns her husband wrote deep club tracks for (KET) & (host)

April 8, 2017-Louis C.K.

*Donald Trump's (Alec Baldwin) policies harm Kentuckians who voted for him

-prosecutor's (host) distractingly gorgeous eyelashes influence murder trial

-soda jerk (host) & teen (CES) explore power dynamics during date fantasy

-The O'Reilly (Alec Baldwin) Factor- sexual harassment charges lose sponsors

-(host) shares his sectional couch obsession but not the sofas themselves

-Tenement Museum actors (host) & (KAM) portray racist Polish immigrants

April 15, 2017-Jimmy Fallon

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) picks Jared Kushner (JIF) as his top advisor

-Family Feud- 1977 & 2017 versions of John Travolta (JIF) compete

-(CES)'s ex (JIF) tries winning her back by singing "Truly Madly Deeply"

-Civil War soldier (JIF) adds bouncy hook to morale-boosting Union song

-Sully (JIF) & Denise (RAD) join Harvard-accepted daughter (KAM) on campus tour

May 6, 2017-Chris Pine

*Morning Joe- romance between Joe (ALM) & Mika (KAM) shocks panelists

-Where In The World Is Kellyanne Conway?- nobody cares to find her

-stakeout agents (KET) & (BEB) stumble upon innocent glee of (host) & (MID)

-in an office, superiors (AIB) & (VAB) fight over (host) singing "The Boy Is Mine"

-auto mechanics (host) & (BOM) lip sync after admitting their love of RuPaul's Drag Race

-Future Classics- (BOM) played a wild Vulcan in unaired Star Trek episode

-(host) & (CES) derail couples' game night with Joe Frazier musical theme

May 13, 2017-Melissa McCarthy

*Lester Holt (MIC) questions Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) about James Comey

-Just Desserts!- unlucky contestant (host) gets pies & cakes in the face

-disgraced Sean Spicer (host) drives podium to confront Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin)

-Debette Goldry (KAM) & fellow veteran actress (host) describe sacrifices made

-fellow moms welcome in (MEV)'s essential selection of a theme animal

-production company logos proposed by (BEB) involve unpleasant (host)

May 20, 2017-Dwayne Johnson

*Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) & his administration sing "Hallelujah"

-Koko (host) mentally wrecks Trashyard Mutt (BOM) again in WrestleMania promo

-(host)'s self-made costume gets more attention than his superhero status

-Jemma (CES) & (host) are part of unplanned double date on splashy theme ride

-in 1948, star actress (VAB) can't stop farting while shooting film noir

-(host) enters child-molesting robot into mad scientist evil invention contest

-while being (host)'s wingman, bartender (BEB) adds himself to hookups

-high school seniors (BEB), (KYM), (BOM) & (VAB) perform farewell sketch

Season 41 (15-16)

October 3, 2015-Miley Cyrus

*Donald (TAK) & Melania (CES) Trump defend his campaign trail statements

-at a 1955 homecoming dance, (JOR) & modern bad girl (host) pair up

-Hillary Clinton (KAM) tells her troubles to bartender (Hillary Clinton)

-The Millennials- entitled twentysomethings are heroes of workplace drama

-(LEJ)'s orgasms are strangely specific in the When Harry Met Sally diner

-late-night talk show pioneer (LEJ) didn't let racism go unchallenged

October 10, 2015-Amy Schumer

*Fox & Friends- Jason Chaffetz (PED) & Debbie Wasserman Schultz (KAM) talk

-stewardesses (host) & (VAB) fall outside during in-flight announcements

-actual kid (AIB) interrupts (KYM) & (host) during porno set in classroom

-fill-in Mary Todd Lincoln (host) ad libs in Ford's Theatre reenactment

-Bakersfield city council hears unconventional requests from citizens

-at a baby shower, overprotective (host) freaks out over (CES)'s lost purse

October 17, 2015-Tracy Morgan

*Bernie Sanders (Larry David) outshines Jim Webb (Alec Baldwin) in debate

-Family Feud- remarried father (TRM) plays against his ex-wife (LEJ) & kids

-Brian Fellow's (TRM) Safari Planet- a smoking beaver & a camel frustrate

-The Loveliest Kingdom gets awkward when (TAK) mentions gay relationship

-Yo! Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?- (KET) & (TRM) would like to know

-Mars marooned Astronaut Jones (TRM) meets a Martian babe (Demi Lovato)

November 7, 2015-Donald Trump

*Bernie Sanders (Larry David) is snappy at Democratic candidates forum

-in 2018, host's presidency is the best of all time (because fuck common sense)

-host's insulting live-Tweeting distracts castmembers during Italy sketch

-laser harp player (host) is bitter that his bandmates hog the spotlight

-host doesn't approve of dense former porn stars' (VAB) (CES) (BOM) endorsement

November 14, 2015-Elizabeth Banks

*in wake of Paris terrorism, CES expresses solidarity in English & French

-Black Jeopardy!- white contestant (host) struggles to get the hang of it

-Student Theatre Showcase performers continue to wage social justice wars

-The Adventures Of Young Ben Carson (JAP) are unlikely foundational events

-contest winner (BOM) gets crime drama walk-on role as a killer pervert

-unlike her friends' first-world problems, (host)'s life is truly ghetto

November 21, 2015-Matthew McConaughey

*Fox & Friends- Ben Carson (JAP) gives his thoughts on Syrian refugees

-trouble-free (host) sits in with blues musicians who have legit hardships

-audience easily identifies 3D bioprinted man (host) at a presentation

-Should You Chime In On This?- ignorant contestants can't resist getting involved

-Right Side Of The Bed- oven cleaner fumes overcome turkey chef (host)

-at a community forum, inferiority complex leads (host) to object train

December 5, 2015-Ryan Gosling

*Donald (TAK) & Melania (CES) Trump list who's naughty & who's nice

-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) UFO trip was less supernatural than other abductees'

-at a 13th birthday party, Melanie (AIB) falls for (VAB)'s dad (host)

-(KYM) tries to embarrass boyhood rival host during his hometown visit

-The Wiz Live! characters meet Scarecrow (host) from The Wizard Of Oz

-kinky elves (KET), (VAB) & (host) try tempting Santa (BOM) into discipline

December 12, 2015-Chris Hemsworth

*George W. Bush (WIF) is preferable to any of the current GOP candidates

-On The Record- Ted Cruz (TAK) & other GOP candidates respond to Muslims

-Brother 2 Brother- Marky's (TAK) composition is obviously inferior to Matty's (host)

-(host) & (CES) derail Christmas carol singalong with obscure "Debra's Time"

-ladies' friend "Claire" is host in drag seeking hunkiness reassurance

-on a pirate ship, crewman Mark (JOR) lifts spirits with his buffoonery

-earnest dancers (TAK) (host) (JAP) (BEB) don't get strip club concept

December 19, 2015-Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

*Jeb Bush (BEB) acts tough with Donald Trump (DAH) during GOP debate

-Hillary Clinton's (KAM) 2008 self (AMP) & Sarah Palin (TIF) visit her

-Meet Your Second Wife!- contestants' future mates are much much younger

-acting coach from The Jeffersons (KET) requests unfit emoting during serious scene

-clips on 1970s variety show DVD are marked by alcohol, cocaine & roofies

-Bronx Beat- Betty (AMP) & Philadelphian cousin (TIF) discover Jodi's (MAR) pregnancy

January 16, 2016-Adam Driver

*Donald Trump (DAH), Ted Cruz (TAK) & Chris Christie (BOM) lead GOP debate

-Packers quarterback’s (PED) gruesome injury is replayed repeatedly

-Jasmine (CES) gets pelted during magic carpet ride with Aladdin (host)

-America's Funniest Cats- Joelle (CES) & Noelle (KAM) provide French apathy

-"social puppeteering" warning of (host) & (CES) inspires kids to bully elaborately

-actual kid (AIB) interrupts (host) & (BEB) during porno set in doctor's office

January 23, 2016-Ronda Rousey

*Donald Trump (DAH) comments on Sarah Palin's (TIF) rambling endorsement

-Best Actor nominees are all white guys in mostly African-American movies

-Bland Man (TAK)- bachelorettes throw themselves at reality show vanilla

-trial reveals teacher (CES) & (host) threesome made Gavin Daly (PED) a teen legend

-all superhero team members must introduce themselves before saving city

-Bakersfield city council hears more requests from eccentric citizens

-(BEB) & (KYM) reveal themselves to be clueless about party protocol

February 6, 2016-Larry David

*Ted Cruz (TAK) gloats in having overcome his inherent disadvantages

-neon-clad Kevin Roberts (host) is recurring target in FBI street simulator

-passengers (host) & (Bernie Sanders) object to upper-class privilege on sinking ship

-at a songwriting class, (host) avoids rhymes in favor of frog-toad saga

-Cam Newton (KET) & Peyton Manning (TAK) sing "Ebony & Ivory" variation

-(host) & Sheila Sovage (KAM) convince themselves they have chemistry together

February 13, 2016-Melissa McCarthy

*Hillary Clinton (KAM) sings "I Can't Make You Love Me" to Bernie supporters

-(host) assaulted fellow audience members in test screening of scary movie

-awkwardness grows as (PED) & parents (BOM) & (host) watch movie sex scene

-in a bar, (host) clumsily practices (CES)’s pick-up techniques on (KYM)

-on a bus, (host) annoys (LEJ) with attempts to be hip towards black experience

-Barbara (KAM) & new gal (host) plug Whiskers R' We Valentine's Cat Giveaway

March 5, 2016-Jonah Hill

*Ted Cruz (TAK) & Mitt Romney (JAS) evaluate against Donald Trump (DAH)

-Fond du Lac Action News- off-topic personal items guide small town report

-foreign ambassador (host) bids for viral videomakers at high school auction

-(host)'s massive dump is revealed during a murder mystery resolution

-caterer (host) aggressively overstates the success of his food offerings

March 12, 2016-Ariana Grande

*Ben Carson (JAP) endorses while Bernie Sanders (Larry David) enjoys a win

-countdown to conclusion of Kids' Choice Awards pre-show is mistimed

-(BEB)'s blobfish mermaid Shud (KAM) is uglier than his fellow seamen's

-intern (host) provides vocals after power outage at Tidal headquarters

-Family Feud- Jennifer Lawrence (host) & other actors take on directors

-in The Sound Of Music, Maria (host) complains about nuns' musical diss

April 2, 2016-Peter Dinklage

*At This Hour- Scottie Nell Hughes (CES) defends Donald Trump's misogyny

-Winnie The Pooh's (host) cousin Denny The Real (JAP) gives him advice

-nightclub singer's (host) space-pants defuse mob boss' (BOM) vengeance

-restaurant in former sex parlor serves food via a preserved glory hole

-dead body (TAK) floats against the window of underwater honeymoon suite

-Vacation Nightmares- (KAM) & (AIB) poorly reenact mugging by Danish men

-humorless (host) dissects logic of magician's (TAK) stolen underwear gag

April 9, 2016-Russell Crowe

*Hillary Clinton (KAM) panders to New York in order to break losing streak

-Politics Nation- (Al Sharpton) rates candidates for Al Sharpton (KET)

-hologram of Henry VIII (host) demands male heir from female museumgoers

-Match Finders- (host) woos bachelorette (CES) with his vaginal knowledge

-100 Days In The Jungle- (PED)'s uncle's friend (host) visits reality show

-ninja Shanice Goodwin (LEJ) rescues (VAB) from Russian mob boss (host)

April 16, 2016-Julia Louis-Dreyfus

*Elaine Benes (JLD) questions Bernie Sanders (Larry David) at debate

-Long Island sisters (JLD) & (KAM) model their line of Huge Jewelry

-Cinema Classics- actress (JLD) relied on line cues written on props

-Who Works Here?- game show contestants try to identify CVS employees

-in a bar, aliens (JLD) & (KAM) are desperate to mate with human males

May 7, 2016-Brie Larson

*Church Chat- Church Lady (DAC) questions Ted Cruz (TAK) & Donald Trump (DAH)

-Ms. Rafferty's (KAM) near-death experience suffered from inept guardian angel

-fellow moms at (host)'s baby shower welcome her to haircut sisterhood

-Game Of Thrones- (host) & (CES) call attention to dragged-out storylines

-Quiz Whiz 2018- contestants (TAK) & (host) have forgotten about Ted Cruz

May 14, 2016-Drake

*Chris Christie (BOM) pushes to be Donald Trump's (DAH) running mate

-car rental employees (host) & (JAP) have no vehicle for (BEB) & (VAB)

-Sexy Kinda Evening- singer's (host) 1978 special is hampered by poor direction

-Paul Ryan (TAK) inspects Mr. Patterson (BEB) as potential Donald Trump replacement

-Black Jeopardy!- black Canadian (host) has different cultural standards

-high school dance chaperone (host) looks fifteen years into the past

May 21, 2016-Fred Armisen

*Hillary Clinton (KAM) disposes of lingering Bernie Sanders (Larry David)

-classroom presentation depicts horniness of Lewis (FRA) & Clark (KYM)

-(JAS) arouses his physically affectionate new girlfriend Regine (FRA)

-(FRA)'s spaceship sacrifice is diminished as he activates escape pod

-self-congratulatory Student Theatre Showcase is a crowd displeaser

-(FRA)’s crowded Harkin Brothers Band performs a feel-good track

Season 40 (14-15)

September 27, 2014-Chris Pratt

*State Of The Union- Ray Lewis (KET) can address NFL legal issues but he won't

-(KYM)’s He-Man (host) & Lion-O (TAK) action figures come to life & bring chaos

-animal hospital workers (host) (KAM) (CES) are indifferent to pet mortality rates

-at a bar, shy (AIB) & (host) get to know each other with sexy rap lyrics

-NFL on CBS- players state their crimes while introducing themselves

-focus group dislikes inappropriate passion of (host) & (VAB) in new videogame

October 4, 2014-Sarah Silverman

*60 Minutes- Barack Obama (JAP) gives examples of the online grasp of ISIS

-in Heaven, just-arrived Joan Rivers (SAS) roasts other dead celebrities

-Forgotten TV Gems- backstabbing is absent from Supportive Women soap opera

-(CES), (SAZ) & (SAS) are stuck doing "Proud Mary" on a Nebraska steamboat

-(BOM)'s surprise backseat proposal to (SAS) goes badly due to her infidelity

-(VAB) gets called out by her friend (SAS) for buying pricey Vitamix blender

October 11, 2014-Bill Hader

*sore-footed Kim Jong Un (BOM) can't convince his army that he's healthy

-crotchety Herb Welch (BIH) whacks on high school abstinence pledge story

-Hollywood Game Night- Al Pacino (BIH) & other celebrities are unhelpful

-Anthony Peter Coleman (BIH) brings traumatic Grenada tales to puppetry class

-The Cat In The Hat's (BIH) old lover (CES) disrupts kids' rainy-day fun

October 25, 2014-Jim Carrey

*Ebola czar Ron Klain (TAK) & Al Sharpton (KET) address public health

-at the Carrey family reunion, (Jeff Daniels) & kin are like host's characters

-unscary dead guys Paul (TAK) & Phil (host) haunt a graveyard on Halloween

-Secret Billionaire- eccentric & elderly (host) competes to pair with (CES)

-during zombie attacks, (host) insists that his undead son (PED) isn't infected

-for an office costume contest, (host) & (KAM) dance a la "Chandelier" video

-Geoff's Halloween Emporium owner (host) is possessed by a demon

November 1, 2014-Chris Rock

*The Kelly (CES) File- Chris Christie (BOM) quarantines Ebola nurse (KAM)

-How 2 Dance With Janelle- teen vlogger (SAZ) is oblivious to her sexiness

-How's He Doing?- black experts cut Obama an infinite amount of slack

-Shark Tank- investors consider an investment pitch from members of ISIS

-an old couple (CSR) & (LEJ) argues while preparing for their anniversary outing

-Women In The Workplace- 1990s training video has curious diversity advice

November 15, 2014-Woody Harrelson

*Barack Obama (JAP) & Mitch McConnell (TAK) get drunk after election day

-Match'd- horny contestants confront bachelorette's (CES) emcee dad (host)

-football coach (host) demonstrates restrained safety measures to players

-at a bar, only (host) is longing for the good old days of NYC crack

-(host) can't get his friends to remember his apple song at a campfire

-sex-starved (host) & Sheila Sovage (KAM) necessarily lower their standards

November 22, 2014-Cameron Diaz

*Schoolhouse Rock!- Executive Order (BOM) creates policy, not Bill (KET)

-Annie- new orphan Annie (LEJ) is a large 43 year-old black woman

-high school's artsy Student Theatre Showcase irritates audience members

-(KET) has dinner at the house of baby-bodied Mr. Patterson (BEB) & wife (host)

-Dr. Dave (KET) & Buggles' Animal Hour had monkey-inflicted genital trauma

-Miss Meadows' (VAB) friend (host) recites an erotic poem about the UPS Man

-Night Murmurs phone callers (CES) (host) (KAM) have some favors to ask

December 6, 2014-James Franco

*Politics Nation- Al Sharpton (KET) addresses the police shootings controversy

-Peter Pan (CES) Live!- Tonkerbell (AIB) asserts with Captain Hook (host)

-Jingle Ballerz- Hip Hop Nativity features Kanye West (JAP) as Jesus

-bridge troll (host) brings out Cathy Anne (CES) in pursuit of riddle solution

-(PED)’s brain is emptied of trivia by moderator (host) to make space for password

-(host) immaturely trashes the 4 year-old he lost the mayoral election to

-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) (Seth Rogen) endorse Sunseeker Yachts

December 13, 2014-Martin Freeman

*Charlie Rose (TAK)- torture consultants (BOM) & (KYM) take pride in torment

-everyone at the wedding of odd couple (host) & (LEJ) raises objections

-Right Side Of The Bed- (host) suffers endless morning show segment teases

-Gordon (TAK) is slow to grasp simple duties of a ketchup assembly line

-sax player's (host) conflict with (TAK) leaks into Treece's (KET) gig

-Waterbed Warehouse owner's (host) wife (AIB) embraces company mascot role

December 20, 2014-Amy Adams

*Dr. Evil (MIM) addresses North Korea about the Sony Pictures hack

-a family's video Christmas card documents unhappy events from the past year

-Girlfriends Talk Show- dance squad members (One Direction) enchant Morgan (AIB)

-A Very Cuban Christmas- lifted embargo inspires an unfocused special

-in 1947, offbeat beauties (KAM) (host) (CES) approach (BOM) & (KYM) in a bar

-Barbara (KAM) & new girlfriend (host) give away cats at Whiskers R' We

January 17, 2015-Kevin Hart

*in 2015, high-schooler (PED) informs MLK (KET) on social progress

-Why'd You Post That?- (host) criticizes & punishes Instagram users

-during a 1971 performance, James Brown (host) seeks agreement from his band

-(VAB) gets clownish theme music during a televised soap opera cast reunion

-everyone in the kingdom but (host) sings about the impending dragon attack

-mannerisms of (LEJ)'s son (JAP) confirm that host is the father

-rapper (host) performs song for his crew that reveal their secrets

January 24, 2015-Blake Shelton

*Inside The NFL- Patriots ballboy (BOM) was responsible for Deflategate

-Farm Hunk (host)- Hollywood bachelorettes compete for a life in Iowa

-Family Feud- stars of The Voice & American Idol rival on celebrity edition

-parole board denies Texas Man Gobbler's (KET) bid for Shawshank Redemption

-Topeka Today- widower (TAK) wrote song about his 70-year marriage to awful Joan

-formerly-skeptical audience member (host) asks magician (TAK) for powers

January 31, 2015-J.K. Simmons

*Super Bowl Shutdown- Richard Sherman (JAP) & Marshawn Lynch (KET) get hyped

-Miss Trash 2015- undesirable contestants compete in an awful pageant

-Cinema Classics- Nazi realities make Ilsa (KAM) uneasy in Casablanca outtake

-Microsoft Office animation Pushie (BOM) irritates computer user (host)

-at career day, (host) tells schoolkids about being a Japanese messy boy

February 28, 2015-Dakota Johnson

*Birdman (BEB) personifies Rudy Giuliani's (TAK) post-9/11 glory days

-Cathy Anne (CES) is a third wheel as Cinderella (host) meets Charming (TAK)

-young reporter (KYM) unsettles host at a Fifty Shades Of Grey press junket

-complainers (BOM), (host) & (CES) downplay officemate's (AIB) broken arms

-doctor (KET) explains why he's dressed as Worf while performing surgery

-Net Effect- online experts struggle to explain the concept of net neutrality

March 7, 2015-Chris Hemsworth

*ambitious Hillary Clinton (KAM) is unconcerned about email scandal threat

-Brother 2 Brother- twins Marky (TAK) & Matty (host) are easy to identify

-chicken captain of a spaceship is forced to make a heroic sacrifice

-The Iggy Azalea (KAM) Show- rap appropriation bugs Azealia Banks (SAZ)

-media hound Thor (host) is overjoyed following Avengers' defeat of Ultron

-acting coach from The Jeffersons (KET) prompts cartoonish takes in a drama

-dense former porn stars (VAB) (CES) (host) endorse Dolce & Gabbana perfume

March 28, 2015-Dwayne Johnson

*anger turns First Couple into The Rock Obama (host) & She Rock Obama (LEJ)

-Koko (host) demoralizes Trashyard Mutt (BOM) during WrestleMania promo

-ignorant (host) & girlfriend Jemma (CES) crash (KET) & (VAB)'s dinner date

-(KAM) wishes she could suck poison from adventure hero (host) instead of (PED)

-Cooking With Paul- sex offender (KET) is monitored by probation officer (host)

-an improv troupe pulls inspiration from the creepy life of Robert Durst (KAM)

-(VAB) & (host) use good-cop odd-cop interrogation technique with (TAK)

April 4, 2015-Michael Keaton

*basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski (TAK) says that college education should come first

-CNN Newsroom- amateurish reenactments fail to convey reports on news items

-despite the downsides, (SAZ) suggests calling your grandmother for Easter

-advertising boss (host) interjects inappropriate sex & violence into pitches

-inventor (host) & his wife (CES) show toaster & couch concepts to neighbors

-(host) presents the holiday contents found inside his Easter basket

April 11, 2015-Taraji P. Henson

*Hillary (KAM) & Bill (DAH) Clinton film her candidacy announcement video

-trial shows teen Gavin Daly (PED) got praise after sex with teacher (CES)

-actress (KAM) can't recall alternatives of a 3-way poncho for sale on QVC

-Hollywood Game Night- dumb game show strains Jane Lynch's (KAM) patience

-How 2 Dance With Janelle- teen vlogger (SAZ) & her mom (host) wedge Teddy (KYM)

-Cinema Classics- female baseballers shun (host) in A League Of Their Own ripoff

-Connectatron- robot component pilot’s (host) quarrels interfere with battle

May 2, 2015-Scarlett Johansson

*NBC seeks ratings by simulating the Floyd Mayweather (JAP) vs. Manny Pacquiao (AIB) fight

-Right Side Of The Bed- flirty antics annoy New Jersey bartender (host)

-Baltimore unrest looms during broadcast of an Orioles game in an empty stadium

-Girlfriends Talk Show- prom queen (host) makes fashion choices for Morgan (AIB)

-(host) & (CES) annoy museumgoers with random remarks at a dinosaur exhibit

-malfunctioning robot stewardesses (host) & (VAB) disturb first class

-(host) & (AIB) pitch tonally-wrong Pampers jingles full of desert animals

May 9, 2015-Reese Witherspoon

*GOP presidential hopefuls try to look cool at a Republican gathering

-Be Scene In L.A.- live mics disrupt cougars' (host) & (CES) talk show

-Picture Perfect- contestant (BOM) refuses to draw The Prophet Muhammad

-pretentiousness of Student Theatre Showcase annoys parents in the audience

-suburban women share their bizarre troubles, drink wine & rob a house

-waterpark employees (BEB) (KYM) (host) pay little attention to sliders

-Barbara (KAM) & latest girlfriend (host) profile adoptable Whiskers R' We cats

May 16, 2015-Louis C.K.

*Hillary Clinton's (KAM) focus on presidency leaves no time for summer fun

-kinky elves (KET) & (VAB) urge shoemaker (host) into punishing them

-to avoid angering boss (LEJ), (host) is stuck with a sassy black accent

-Jemma (CES) & her new overbearing boyfriend (host) order champagne & shrimp

-actors suspected of mugging (TAK) (KYM) (BEB) (host) treat police line-up as an audition

-Forgotten TV Gems- lesbian housewife (KAM) was an outlet for sitcom hijinks